I was annoyed with Master.
My being annoyed with him, annoyed Him.
He handles this, what he calls “whoremoan” times, the same way he always does. First, he ignores me.
Drives me mental. Which, of course, He well knows.
Then He talks me through it, when I can’t stand the silence any more and call him. And then?
At least until the next “whoremoan” time comes around. No, it’s not a PMS thing, those days are LONG long in my past…it’s just…things build up and I take it and take it and then…
ya’ll know I have Viking in my little nilla heart…
I get mad all at once.
This all happened on Friday, so it’s well and truly put in the past as you read this…
But He said this thing that just resonated…said it in a quiet and calm, matter-of-fact way.
“It doesn’t matter if you like it. You just have to deal with it. It’s my way, nilla.”
Um, talk about being put, very succinctly, back into a submissive head-space.
He’s right. There are some things that I just need to swallow. If I don’t like it, too fucking bad, deal with it. He’s the boss. Sometimes, sometimes, I do forget.
This is NOT an equal partnership.
There is NO equanimity here.
And you know, I could have kept this little “spat” private, not shared it with any of you all…but this is a real, D/s relationship…and it isn’t always easy. I’m not always good, not always perfect. I get mad, I sometimes get really annoyed, and sometimes I shoot off my mouth…it’s something that I occasionally need to be reminded of, my place. It’s not sitting beside Him. I’m not head of the table here…I’m sitting on the floor at his feet. Just…sometimes the mad overcomes my submission…and it’s not always perfect. What is perfect? His response to my pique. It IS His way. He is the Boss of my ass. And if I don’t like it…tough toodles, missy.
He handles it. Settles me. Not calm and soothing. But firm, matter of fact. It’s *my* issue. Not His.
Nothing like getting yanked off my high horse and having the bridle slapped in my mouth, yanno?
(and yes, you horse purists, I know it’s the bit that goes in my mouth, the bridle over my head…i was just making a metaphorical point!)
i ain’t the boss.
(that’s the way I like it, too.)