I write texts to Sir all the time. Some of the texts are just wee things, kisses i like to send to nudge at Him, some are quite salacious and naughty. Yeah, it’s a tough job, but this subbie is up to the task!!
The other day i sent him a text that went something like “where desire ends and lust begins”. He liked that line, but queried, “Where does desire end and lust begin?” and suggested that i make a blog post out of it. Oh! an assignment! I love assignments (yes, i enjoyed school…)
I’ve spent the week since that text, pondering about that chance comment of mine. Does desire end when lust begins?
Or does it deepen and blossom and grow into lust…lust therefore being desire, transformed? Hmm..and does that preclude good old fashioned lust, whereby we see some hottie that appeals on a base animal level and makes us want. On the other hand, perhaps desire is lust transformed. See, i’m still all over the place about this!
for nilla? There are a few people i feel lusty about. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. (hot hunka hunka!). Captain Jean-Luc Picard. (I have a wicked thing for bald guys …and no, Sir is not bald. Although i have suggested he shave his head…nilla laughs) Mariska Hariguay …c’mon you’d have to be dead not to notice her…, anyway, do i desire these folks? Um, not really.
So, lusty wench that i am, i am stimulated physically when i see some of those hotties on tv. That to me is just lust. I don’t know them. Who they are when they are not playing their character on tv. And that doesn’t stop me from erotic thoughts of any of them. That’s what i’d call “Lust”.
For me, whatever the hell Websters says (and i did not look up the definitions, i’m speaking just for da nilla here)…. lust is pure physical reaction to pheromones, visual stimulations, and whatever other wee cues our body picks up on to say “go fuck that person…i want it” . Talk about objectification!!
Desire involves more. It’s a knowing of something/someone…something that connects away from the purely physical…although that must certainly be a component. I love ice cream. I desire it when i haven’t had it in awhile. And sometimes when i really “need” a “fix”….i lust. I can taste it in my imagination. I feel all the physical sensations…the creamyness of the texture, the sweetness of the flavor, the chill snap waking up my mouth…Lust. A desire for something familiar, something wonderful, something craved deep within. I don’t lust for ‘chunky monkey”…i’ve never tried that flavor. But “chocolate chip cookie dough”? Oh, yes, my favorite. Familiar, desired, and on occasion, lusted for.
I think about how i desire Sir. His mouth on my body, his hands on me, the pain and the pleasure he pulls from me. It’s a yearning. A….deep need within me. I don’t feel it for other Dom’s or even other men. Or women. I get this desire from knowing Him. From talks and texts and physical contact. And Lust? Oh, hell ya! Sometimes just the way He says something to me on the phone gets my juices running…i feel the shiver of it deep inside of me, a tingle that reverberates down my spine, and deep between my legs. This happens during every conversation. Sometimes i tell Him, sometimes i don’t but …always before the end of any conversation, i’m wet, and wanting and lusty.
In the nilla’s humble opinion, then, lust is just body wanting body. Desire is so much more! Sexual need wrapped in emotion….Love. Familiarity. Need.
nilla desires Sir.
as Martha would say…”it’s a very good thing”….