i have a philosophy about getting lost.
i don’t believe in it. (shakes head) One finds a new way to get someplace. My wife, otoh, gets lost chronically. I always thought it was because she believes it. Unfortunately, some people are just genetically predisposed to not finding their way. I might not have believed that before, but then i met Sir, and he has the same issue. Hence my new theory of genetic predisposition.
Anyway, you all came this close )*( to never seeing nilla again. i almost got lost…in Boston.
If you’re familiar with Boston, it’s a rabbit warren of inner city streets laid out in disordered fashion. All the immediate suburbs are “part’ of Boston, and i was headed to the soutwest part of Beantowne.
i googled and mapquested and fiddled and fixed until i created a direct Route into Town. The words “Mass Pike” make me cringe. I’ve driven many places, including Chicago’s Loop, which is no place for the faint of heart, btw, but the section of the Mass Pike that heads directly into mid-city? Nope. Nada. Won’t. Do. It. You. Can’t. Make. Me.
Now, i need to backtrack a bit here. I have this ….funky talent….i can go some place once and recall how to get there years later. Including alternate routes. I have mapquest in my head i guess. My brother took pity on my wife and got us a GPS for Yule. I figured it was kinda useless but i have played with it. Yesterday i used it as backup for my printed directions.
I’m traveling on the route i’ve chosen. GPS lady is working hard to get me to use the Pike. Nope. Nada. Won’t.
(insert metallic voice here:) In one mile, take exit 33.
nilla sails past exit 33. GPS lady sighs.
(insert metallic voice here:) In 3 miles take exit 34.
nilla sails past exit 34. 35. 36. 40. 43. That fucking persistant lady tried her best to make me comply but she wasn’t using Dom-voice so i ignored her.
By the time we made it to the outskirts of Boston, the GPS lady was really pissed.
(insert metallic voice here:) are you going to take the next fucking exit you bitch or should i just drive you right into the fucking Atlantic? Well? Are you? TAKE THE FUCKING EXIT!! OH! gggggRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Yeah. So i finally take the turn that will take me to my destination.
The GPS lady cheered.
She did still try to send me onto the PIKE on the way home…
nope nada. She made me cross the Charles River twice before i figured out her destination…but i found my way out before i wound up in downtown.
GPS Lady was pouting, nilla was pumping her fist in the air…WOO HOO! One for da nilla.
Give me the Chicago Loop any day.