The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly-true nilla

sorry sorry sorry sorry…..i don’t have a story for you.

thought i should get that part over with, first.

Instead, a little  bit of real-life, since you are all so caring about what’s going on. i’m finishing a period of punishment for  D2 and i’m feeling pretty down in the dumps. No one enjoys being punished, to be sure, but this has just dragged on for so long. He says he’s making a point.

i made a bad choice, i freely admit it. i fucked up. i’m guessing one or two of you have made a mistake or two in your own relationships and can relate.

as i was reminded lately, part of this lifestyle is about the joy of service.  i keep thinking that when that service is no longer joyful, then perhaps  it’s time for it to be over.

He says he can make me happier once my punishment is over, that punishment is not supposed to be joyful. yeah, i grok that.

will i be happier once punishment is done? i don’t know. Maybe. He says he can do it. I don’t have a reason to *not* believe it, but then again, i’ve rarely ever been this down before.

and in the midst of all this, i get a “dear john” kind of letter. honest, painfully honest.  thanks, um, for your honesty? what else can i say to that?

it hurts.

This is  NOT a bid for sympathy, so please don’t write all gushy “poor nilla”…i did screw up, and i’m paying my dues.

so the “Good”  is that i’m being open about my D/s life. Using my blog as a place to vent (politely) about the BBD who i think has been very harsh, and who feels that He’s taught me a valuable lesson.

i don’t share much true nilla here, it’s just not what my blog is about.

Moving on now…time  for the “Bad”, which is my chore list for this upcoming week. My kitchen floor finally got fixed after 3 fucking months (yes, months) of disrepair from a leaking dishwasher hose. But it’s all fixed and i have a lovely, new kitchen floor.

But. (isn’t there *always* a but?!)  Didja ever read the story “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…”? Well, that’s my kitchen. With the new floor, i can see the woodwork really is dingy, dinged etc. ……and  there is a TON of woodwork in my kitchen. So i’m going to be spending the next two days painting it.

And then there are the small areas where there is wallpaper instead of knotty pine paneling. Sigh. Can you see where this is heading?

Yeah….you guessed it. That’s the “Ugly” part. At least 10 years old, and while i loved the pattern, it so doesn’t go with anything now.  So, that’s going bye-bye. Peeling it off, prepping the walls, and hopefully the new paper i ordered will arrive mid-week…well that purty much sucks up the rest of my free time this week.


Mundane work like this really gets my brain spinning, and i will be getting off punishment, AND  seeing Sir B this upcoming weekend, and that makes me quiver with anticipation….and that means ….i will be writing again.

Thank you all for being so forebearing about two days without stories.

And for listening.

And for caring. For that most of all.