I know Ya’ll want a story but…

i’ll get to it, i promise!! it’s Monday night and i’m working on Wednesday’s blogpost…..and now- you got this instead. See, i have a reason.

i’m tired.

so tired.

so wonderfully, amazingly, totally, bone-crunching tired.

That’s what being a well-fucked sub will do to ya. Some new experiences, oh, so good, so good so so so good. But i’m still processing, still…on my cloud, i guess.

i promise to start throwing a few bones your way. then again…i like bones. Hard, stiff ones…but *shakes self* …i digress…

So, i was reading my vanilla blog, marveling at the changes of my hair over the last 4 years. Will Crimson has been having a discussion over at erotic writer about middle-aged women and long hair, which dovetailed neatly with the other discussions zinging around the blogosphere, like on sin’s blog about hair being cut.  Four years ago i was blonde with very short hair. So, amused a bit, and wincing at some particularly ugly shade of blonde (i tried about 3 of them attempting to get back to my ‘natural’ color, which was a honey blonde when i was a youngling), when i came across this entry:

Sept 17, 2006  Kinky-now, you may enjoy kinky stuff, and I will confess to seeing some (can you believe what you can see on the internet for FREE?) and I confess to trying to not be like my mom and be a prude at 47. I’m not particularly comfortable discussing kinky things, but still I think many of us are curious about it.”

This was  3 years before my personal explorations began;  i’d certainly seen things on the internet, like the time i was rushing through typing in “books.com” and mistyped boobs.com.

Whole different kind of site!

Anyway, i was doing weekly entries for each letter of the alphabet, a challenge a fellow blogging buddy had gotten me into. i just find it fascinating that my interest in kink had that one little “blurp” that i actually wrote about in vanilla life.

i’ve said several times, (tho maybe not here) that if i hadn’t had a HUGE fight with my wife, vanillamom would never have been born. Huge as in …i was thinking of leaving i was so upset kind of huge. Huge as in … in need to do *something* so i don’t fucking explode, kind of huge.

‘sall about finding that silver lining, i guess. Although i am a pessimist by nature, i work hard at *trying* to find good in bad. Not always successful, but i do try.

Take, for instance, aisha’s recent flurry of posts about wooden spoons. It made me think about Sir’s silver cake turner thing. And how much i hate that fucker.

So i bought Him a pancake turner. i didn’t think to take a picture. Dammit. It’s thick, bamboo, lovely smooth finish, and the sides down by the bottom of the “turner” part curve ever so gently.

i have a new toy to hate.

and love.

and hate.

That fucker stings like nothing i’ve felt before. O. Gawd. He’s laughing, and chortling merrily, and loving it. Gliding His hand down the smooth finish…”WHAP! wHAP! WHAAAAP” …

“niiiiiicccee” He laughs with glee.

“Great sound, and you should see how red your ass is now, nilla!”

He packed it reverently in His toy bag when we were leaving the hotel.

i’m glad He liked it.

i think.

6 thoughts on “I know Ya’ll want a story but…

  1. But we love your real life stuff too… and this is so erotic. Of course, I’m particularly delighted by the pancake turner part. Bamboo, huh?

    And it is amazing, isn’t it, to look back to what we thought about kink before we “knew” kink. I hate to say I’m glad you had a fight with your wife, and of course that’s not strictly true, but I sure am glad vanillamom was born! You know, I’m often looking for examples of situations where people thought something awful had happened, and then something good comes out of it. But {laughing} I guess I couldn’t very well use this example with my clients, could I?


    1. i get what you’re saying here, aisha…it was a terrible time in my r/l relationship, and we’re talking a lifetime friendship as well as lifemates for 30+ years…and yet.

      Is it any wonder that one of my *absolute* favorite poems is Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”? ..’two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

      um…unless your clients are of the kink persuasion..perhaps not!!

      and yes…bamboo… it was one of those odd moments, i was in the grocery store, of all places, cruising through at my normal 90 mph…and saw this spoon. Like a cartoon on tv…this this….klaxon sounds and my eyes pop wide, yanno? The aisle was just a way to get from the front to the back of the store, i NEVER go down that aisle…and there it was…so soft, so sexy, so beautiful, thick and solid.

      i thumped it on my hand and oooh…so sting-y.

      ’twas meant to be in my hand, in His hand, and on my ass, i guess!!


  2. Yes, ‘Nilla you seem to have shed a few inhibitions as you let your hair grow out.

    Glad to hear the quarantine is over.

    And it is a peculiarly human talent to make that silk purse out of a sow’s ear… souflle from lemons, etc.

    Your devoted reader, Mick

    1. thanks Mick!

      it is true, as my hair grew out, my inhibitions lowered…*smiles* maybe *that’s* why the idea of having a Dom cut my hair off is so chilling to me…


  3. I’m very glad you are getting things good and hard, I’m sure you deserve it. It seems a lot of people are talking about cutting off hair of the sub’s, don’t let your Dom’s read Married Man’s Fucktoy, hers didn’t just talk about it. There are pictures.

    1. i know, and it works for them…(Sir B loves long hair…i’ve not been allowed more than a meager trim since He and i have been together)

      but i still feel it would “de-sex” me…

      maybe i’m not a perfect sub? Beat me, fuck me, fine. i’ll take that, all of it…but cut my hair? Maybe after a long-term relationship i might…and they have been together for a very long time, 6 years, i believe.

      and she is an owned slave.

      this is becoming a blogpost! But i think there is a big difference between a slave and a submissive. And the length of commitment has to play and integral part of the Dom/sub trust pact. Would i let someone i’d only served for 6 months or even just a year or two cut off my hair to prove my servitude and His power over me? not at this point.

      and again…remember, this is allllll new territory for nilla. i’ve only served as a submissive for 9 months.

      ask me again in a year!


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