I occasionally get direct email from a reader. When i do, it is always a special thing to me. I love getting mail! Who doesn’t really?It means that someone took the time to craft their thoughts and send them to me. And while email is nowhere near as arduous as snail mail is, composing and sending with a few buttons, i still get that same thrill. Someone took time to ask a question, or share a thought…or comment on something i wrote…and i think that is pretty darned neat!
Someone wrote to me!!
And that someone asked a question that others have asked, and i’ve adroitly avoided answering.
Because i didn’t have it all thought out. But today, it all came together, from my head, through my fingers, and now out here to you all.
I just read, “shower” you have so much writing talent Nilla, have you ever considered putting it all in a book? You could remain anonymous. I think you would be a bestseller, I really mean that.
I began crafting a reply to Ava, and i wrote. And wrote. And wrote. I finally realized that this was becoming a blogpost. And since it’s a question that has been asked before, i figured, why not just post my reply to her here? So, with Ava’s permission, i have posted her note to me above, and now, my response to Ava, and to you out there who’ve asked me this in the past.
You are ubersweet, and i mean that in full sincerity. i wanted you to know…. i do really think about that from time to time, being published, i mean. Just…i dunno….it might take the joy and love out of it, and become a job. i’d hate that.
i’m seriously thrilled that you like the stories that much. 1 1/2 years ago, i’d never have believed that more than 20 people would be coming to my blog to read my little fantasies…and now i have lots of loyal readers, and that is…huge to me. Yes, it’s a form of validation, to be sure. But also…it helps me feel like i’m not …alone? Hey! I’m not the only one who gets excited and turned on by some very …well, was going to say strange, but really to us it isn’t strange.. it’s dark, and kinky and oft twisted, tho, isn’t it?
And isn’t that the appeal to us kinky guys and gals? Reading about situations that are sometimes unlikely and sometimes all-too-likely…both hold an appeal, right? They flip our switches, stir our juices, and make us feel, for that moment, that we’re connected…and validated. I’m nilla and i’m a kinky bitch slut. You are too. (smiling)
There’s more to why i write on a free blog tho……when i first started reading erotica,/porn…it was hard to find the ‘good stuff’…oh, there was plenty of hard edgy stuff, but precious few ‘good’ ones. In some stories, it was all about fucking. Beating. Sometimes (if i could find it,which was hard to do) rape fantasies. Many with very poor plot lines. And even worse grammar.
All writers make grammatical errors. Sometimes a word is used incorrectly. Occasionally misspelled. I don’t have an editor (i have YOU guys to say nilla WTF? !!) but i re-read my stuff 2-3 times before it’s published if at all possible, just to be sure.
Those stories? Not so much.
Which doesn’t mean that some of those badly written tales didn’t turn me on. Coz so many did. There is something to be said about the grittyness of some of them.
But some? Just sucked. The good ones, truly good ones? Were far and few between.
I wanted to be one of the “good” ones. *smile* There you have it…my own little personal vanity.
And i wanted it to be free. See, Ava, even now, i don’t have the ability to purchase porn. And …. there have to be others out there like me, who want to read this stuff…but have too many bills to cope with, who really can’t afford to be buying a book of porn. Or maybe they have a spouse that they hide this stuff from. Or, as in my case…both.
It became more and more important to me that i put something out there that people can enjoy, to escape their 9-5 routine and smile, or get horny or whatever brings you here to read me.
We both know, you and i, that this isn’t War and Peace, but i try to make it as well written as i can, as grammatical as i can, and if i use an occasional word you need to look up…kewl. *smiles*
I have a decent vocabulary and it’s fun to use it writing sex stories!
Over and above all else, i write to please myself. I’ve said it before, and i’ll likely say it again, but i spin my stories from the dark fantasies that grow in my head. If they please me when i write them, i’ve got a good chance to please at least some of you. I don’t try to please all of you…coz i can’t …and i write to de-stress, not add to it!!
At the end of the day, when i sit and pull words and characters from my head, push them out onto virtual paper, and set them to show up in YOUR computer…at the end of the day when YOU read them, and they make you smile, make you wet, make you gasp…
…that’s a pretty fine coin to be paid in.
I’m not ruling it out forever, but for now, at this point in my life ??? I can’t see that i have the time, energy, time, and time to try to get myself ‘out there”…someday my little ones will be grown, and i will be done homeschooling, and life will quiet and calm a bit…and then perhaps i’ll be in a better place to consider writing for profit.
Until then, come, read, get turned on, and if something thrills you, drop me a line. Because you know…i do love turning y’all on…!!