Stats and Searchs…fun for the freaky

Are ya’ll having a great Holiday weekend here in the USA? It’s been busy, and family visting, and working, and more family visiting, and bar-b-ques, and going to have a wee visit with my Master…so much to cram into 3 days…

My time has been profoundly limited since Friday, so today is a bit of “filler and fluff”…i really hate resorting to this, but now that i’m back to good health (what a long two weeks that was) and have gotten 3 of the 4 kids through it and my wife…time got away. And it’s the 4th of July and i think maybe there won’t be a ton of readers today anyway, right?

So i have been trolling my “stats” page this last few weeks, preparing the list of search terms for your amusement…i knew that someday i’d use it…and today is the day.

Really, sometimes it *amazes* me the things that get people sent here. Sex blog, yes, but really? Some of these are funny, and some are simply odd.

Hmmm. I’ve been called odd. Do you think….naaaahhh? Really? *laughing* It’s okay…i don’t mind being odd in the least. Though at my age, i really do prefer…eccentric!!

So here are some of the more interesting search terms i’ve found in the last little while. Oh, the usual you’d expect…vanilla mom, mom vanilla, and the ever popular tit-slapping. I get those all the time. But these? Are funnah.  Let’s see…there was :

can’t stop touching my clit–oh honey, that’s normal!! i have that very same issue too…

cheeky slut–hey! i resemble that remark!

can see my nipples–well honey, that is why mirrors were invented, dontchaknow?

cocksucker cum slut– well that sums up about 75 percent of my stories….(and maybe a wee bit of my personal life as well!?!)

bruises after anal sex–well honey, what the fuck did you expect?

nipple clamp blog–yes, nipple clamps are seen, written of, and worn here on occasion…however this is not a blog that features that as an “exclusive content”…

fantasy nipple– i’m not making any guesses over *that* one…??!! Master likes my nipps just fine but they’ve never been described quite that way.  But, um, thank you?

microcosmic+little drops from butt– not guessing over that first part-microcosmic…what??? — but if it has to do with anal, you’re gonna have those little drops, yanno?

story sex musical chairs–this moved me …because someone read it, and wanted to come back and read it again…and that is one of the highest of compliments, yes?

she saw his thingy– i wonder why that person got sent to me?? “thingy”?  Seriously?? !!   Have any of you *ever* read that word here before now? Cock, dick, rod, penis, shaft…sure. But thingy? *laughs* as if!

teethmark tattoo–  yes, searcher, you got that one right, Master *always* marks me with a “teethmark tattoo” during a playdate.  However, this next person, looking to,”inspect your asshole” is a bit questionable. Somehow i think Master would not approve. He is the only one allowed that sort of inspection, but gee, thanks for inquiring!

girl with jif jar in her pussy…What???? As Master says…NFW, nilla. (i don’t even like peanut butter all that much, thank you. Certainly not enough to shove the entire jar (should it fit) up my hoo haw.)

okay this next one? If i ever share *anything* like that i might as well stop blogging, coz it goes WAY over the line of “oversharing”…yet some lucky surfer put this into a search engine…AND GOT SENT HERE!!

(EGADS!)

he went so deep into her, she was forced to move her bowels. 

really? ugh.  Poop play is just not a turn-on for this slut. Sorry searcher…wrong butt channel, wrong butt scene.

These two made me smile: he fucked her again and again and again (that’s my kinda searcher!) and how to draw womens legs. Actually that last one makes me … can you imagine, some art student trying to find leg sketches and came here instead? Yikes!

And this final search..um..makes me squirm. And no, Donna, it’s NOT an enema search–that does more than make me squirm…it makes me shudder in horror!!!  This one search (Donna, stop it. I see your wheels turning. I swear if you send me another pic of an enema bottle i’ll…i’ll…i’ll send you a jar of jif for YOUR hoo haw!)

naughty and obedience games- dog I’m hoping that some intrepid dog teacher didn’t get sent here coz of my proclivity to writing dirty little stories about dogs and…hell, we’re *back* with the peanut butter again.

Sigh.

Pass me that jar, willya?