Why do Monday holidays make me kinda depressed?
First, it’s near to impossible for me to write at all when wife is home on Holiday. Second, i’m so very behind in responding to all the wonderful comments, and that will be rectified tomorrow. *pause* okay, scratch that…they are all done now. i could not, in good conscience, write any new blogpost without responding to all the lovely comments i’ve gotten in the last few days. i was pretty “blotto” from all the traveling, so thanks for being patient!
Today is being consumed by vanilla stuff…had to put the garden “to bed” for another season, which entails pulling up plants, pulling out the landscape plastic (grrrosss!) and gathering up the last of the cornstalks for decorations.
And today i am very much missing my subsis, and the wonderful conections that we began to forge. Sliding back into real life is, as Master said yesterday, depressingly ‘normal’.
Yes, Master and i had a brief chance to meet yesterday, time for a bit of flirty, and a bit of touchy, and one very hard hug, before we had to part.
Like, rib-crushingly hard.
At the aiport Saturday night, when it was uncertain just how long i would be delayed, He and i were chatting about my return. And He asked my favorite memory of my trip to visit aisha (lunch with Sir X and Ms. Constance.)
And we chatted about my vanilla life and if i was missed (my kids missed me terribly, which was gratifying). And i asked Him…
“did You miss me, Master?”
There was a pause, and then softly He said,
I missed you, little girl.
And i almost started crying there in the airport. It was beautiful, and special and i was having a moment…and the airline folks broke into my rosy glow and said we’d be getting on the plane in less than 10 minutes…(after thinking we’d be delayed way longer than we were)…it was a magical sign, right? *smiles*
And last night He began spinning a scene for me. It’s kinda dark.
No, not kinda.
And it has the potential to become reality. And i don’t know the when of it. Part of the suspense. Part of the knife-edge of fear and lust that i like to live on.
He’s a spider, and has spun me into His web. And He’s so fucking good at it. He will always protect me, this i know deep down at the molecular level. But He’s beginning to let His sadistic side show to a much more intense level.
And it scares me.
And it turns me on.
And it keeps me squirming and excited and anxious. Waiting for the next text. The next challenging question, the next ‘teaser’….
He’s laying down a trail, as Will said last week, not of breadcrumbs, but of croutons.
And i’m gobbling them up fast as can be.