Stalling

Well, hell..

…it’s Thursday night, ZNN night. (does it confuse you when i do that to you? write a post on Thursday and you read it Sunday?  I wonder about that sometimes, wonder if YOU think you’re getting “stale” news or something?! You’re not! Really….!)

There’s this thing that i should be doing. Other than this, i mean. Oh, of course this is important…this is my Sunday “real-life-nilla” post after all.     But what i should be doing is working on my 1,660-word daily writing for NaNoWriMo….and  instead i’m stalling writing my Sunday Blog Post.

i can see you, scratching your head.

NaNoWriMo?

WTF, nilla?

The idea behind National Novel Writing Month is to complete 50,000 words over the next 30 days.

Yeah. A book.

Raw.

No edits. No proofreading. No spell-check.

There is no ‘fixing’, just pure writing.

And hell….it could be junk. It could wind up deleted. It could be moved, or truncated, or expanded upon.

But if any of that occurs, it all happens, later.

For now it’s all a pure “sit yor ass down and write, slut”  kind of deal. At least for this slut. So why am i not doing so?

Sit down ~ i know you’re gonna faint.

i’m

(afraid someone will get hurt when they read it)

(from falling down and whacking an elbow)

(or some other body part)

(or gods forfend…knocking themselves unconscious)

procrastinating.

No.

Nope.

i did NOT really mean that.

I’m….um…uh…percolating.

Yes!

That is what i meant to write. Percolating the next chapter. Heh!  And i’m a very fast typist so maybe, in an hour or so, i’ll  see the next chapter getting typed.

As soon as it …

Percolates.

heh.

So, in the course of my stalling,   percolating, i went back to check my email. Well, yanno, it had been 15 minutes. Someone could have written to me by then.

Right?

And i found an email written to me earlier this week by a friendly reader. Oh, right. i’d wanted to talk about it here.

He said this:

being under someone else’s control can be liberating.

That was his main comment, one which i found profoundly moving. He is a male submissive, and is, (if i may say so publicly, friend,) coming to terms with that concept.

Like so many submissives, he is successful in his career, happy in his life overall.

Sound like you? Sounds like me, too,  except for that whole career- woman thing,  coz that’s not my bag.

But that line up there…about being under someone else’s control, that sure resonates. To be bent to their will, knowing that will fulfill you is a gift beyond compare. To know that by giving my all, i am free.

It is a gift.

Better than diamonds or perfume. It is the gift of their (the big D) essential nature, mingled with the gift of our (the small s) essential nature.

Opposites attracting in a powerful bond, that in my case has proven to be deeply fulfilling, for Master and myself. In our relationship, in my submission to Him, i’ve found both structure, and freedom. It’s an interesting oxymoron, isn’t it?

This is a post that likely deserves a deeper look, and i’ve only just scratched the surface. But my yoga stretching has relaxed me,  (yes, i’m a new convert!),  and my procrastinating percolating seems to be done, and dang…

it’s time to sit yor ass down and write, slut….!