Real Life Stuff

So many thoughts to process…

First, i guess, is the incredible joy, the euphoria, of being #26 on the Best Bloggers list…make no mistake, ya’ll…i write for me, to soothe my beasts, to keep me….well, from exploding, i guess. Your comments have been food for me, feeding me, encouraging me, and i appreciate every single one of them (and i am woefully behind on replying to everyone from the last few days…hopefully as you read this i will have completed that…)…but to be publicly noted like that was truly …well it blew my little pervy mind!

Second…the boost from that little surprise, and the gentle boot of my Masters foot up my ass has jolted me from a bit of “down” this week. i’ve been fighting this bug that everyone here has had~my 7 year old has pneumonia as a result of it, a big worry for me as he is not a “robust” child.

(reaches over for a slug of tea, wtf? who drank that…?)

and last week M and i didn’t manage to hook up for FNF…nor for our Sunday face time…and (caution, whine ahead) it’s been soooo long since we’ve had behind-closed-doors time. September 18th we had a short playtime here….our last full-day together was in August. That is a terrible amount of time to go, frankly, not getting beat, nor fucked by the Man.

And the lack of play, and not feeling 100%, and vanilla-life stresses and commitments…

made nilla an unsexual girl. Sit down before you read the next part. It’s pretty shocking. *nods*

ready? sure?

i asked M to take away my O’s, (yes, you read that correctly. Take them    a  w  a  y….)

put me on ZNN, until we meet again (hopefully next week) for our playtime.

His response was both tender, and Domly.  And He made me laugh and feel better.

“nilla,” sez He…”no one would be a worse nun than you….”


It was the perfect start to a conversation that ultimately lifted me fully up out of my black hole. And he ordered me to have an O. *smiles

added to all the stuff that had me down,  i broke my favorite vibe, and it’s only been a few months and geeze that pissed me off.

$59 for a vibe that was *divine* …and now it only works when i clench my pussy muscles very hard. Yeah, that would bet the *same* pussy muscles that broke the fuckin’ thing to begin with.

i hear all the guys reading this snickering and going ‘yeah, so this is a bad thing?’…but the ladies will get it..

i hope.

so i’ve ordered two new vibes (i am getting my first rabbit vibe, ever, coz it was such a great price (from $60 to $18? hell yeah!), and one that plugs in because the cost (and disposal) of batteries sucks.

Thankfully, Master has carefully pulled me along His dark path, and when He gave me that O, He ordered me to masturbate to a certain fantasy…He laid out the basics, and then i was to “flesh it out”…masturbate, and then retell Him the fantasy. The whole fantasy…talk about laying yourself bare.

and i dunno if He’ll let me publish it or not. Well, theres two of them, really, as i had to repeat the scene last night, but make it different somehow. In a while i will write that one as well.

And i’m writing a novel.

Yeah. heh. go figure. i’m maybe almost half-way through, a bit behind the pace set by NaNoWriMo, but i was saved from crashing and burning by Donna, who reminded me that i already write daily, which is a discipline that other new writers need to work on…and since i’m writing a blog (or sometimes two) post a day, and the novel…don’t sweat it.

crisis resolved. and hey….i don’t have to stop writing on 11/30 when NaNoWriMo ends! duh. i know, it’s obvious, right? Anyway, it’s going pretty good, and my two reviewers are enjoying it. Will keep you all posted about that.

And i still have leaves to rake, and i’m tired from not sleeping well. And Master is revelling in my ZNN status, and giving me some tasks to attend to, keeping me focused on serving Him.

i love that.

i’ve been nominated by several people for the VBA award…serene, and butterfly and vixen.. and i am always honored when someone taps me and says “you affected/effected me”….but …

i don’t think i read 7 blogs a day…i read two a day loyally, and catch up on 3 or 4 others weekly…that’s really all i can fit into my time. i want to read more, i really do…but there just aren’t enough hours in my day.

So i cannot nominate anyone (all of you have already been nominated)…and you all know way more than  7 things about me, right? What could i add?

i mean, i told ya’ll about my weird baby toes, and how ticklish i am. You know i color my hair, and i make most of my food from scratch. Ya’ll know i’m a slut, that i love my Master, and that this year has been one of intense struggles, changes, and growth in my D/s relationships.

And ya’ll know i write to keep my head from going sploidy….who could ask for anything more?


One last thing before i leave you to your day…Master’s gift arrived today. You remember the pic from the other day? Didn’t that look like a sweet little crop?





That thing…omg. I told M that it had arrived here, and i’ll be sure to get it to him for his birthday….in 2012.

He laughed that hot, evil laugh of His.

nilla, you fail to realize one key point here. That crop is no longer yours…it is Mine. You are merely the holder, and bringer of the toy.

It is MINE.

So don’t fuck up and forget it, got it?

What can i say to that other than…”yes Master?”

Stay tuned…nilla’s heart-cropped ass will be on display at some point in the not far distant future…coz my ass is, after all,  Master’s toy, too!