Life Stuff aka Good Thing?Bad Thing?

It’s Friday as i write this.

Black Friday.

Which pretty much sums  up my mood for the last several days.

Thanksgiving…ah. Well, glad it’s over this year.

So …the afternoon before Thanksgiving i find out that Master and i can’t meet today.  And i’m bummed, and how the hell can i show it?

And then my sister showed up, early. Not to help, nope. She just sat. And talked. And talked. And talked.  i try to stuff the annoyance down, and then…well…you know how that goes. Not really” stuffed away”, and when people finally got under my skin, i became a snarky bitch.

But i knew a great deal of it came from the frustration of not getting to be with Master. And honestly? My family drives me nuts at times. Everyone talks nonstop. No quiet. No recharge time. It makes me insane. I like a bit of quiet now and again. And if i leave the room, they fucking follow me.

If it was important stuff, fine. But why the fuck do i care about a funny facebook story about people i don’t know? Or about tv stars. My sis is obsessed with tv, and quotes lines from shows from our youth; an avid reader of People Magazine, and all the rest of those holly wood rags.

Sorry if that sounds elitist, and i’ve nothing against them per se. But for gosh sakes, be able to carry on a conversation about more than who is dating whom in Hollywood.

Again…why the fuck to do i care?

So i was cranky. And yoga helped, though i was accused of being snarky when i got home…because they (wife, sis) started yakking the second i came in the house.

Like..Oh. My. Fucking. GAWD…do you people ever shut the fuck up??

So i texted Master through the afternoon, easing out of snarky bitch mode, and into sub mode from time to time. And we had a nice long chat on my drive back home from yoga.

And i got a “freestyle” orgasm from Master because He’s not happy about the change in date either.

We eased into Thanksgiving, and the day itself was okay. Once i give up voicing opinions, and just do what wife wants, things flow (has a familiar ring to it, doesn’t it?) a bit smoother. Got the food prepped and the rest of the family shows up and the meal is happy and funny and good.

We eat early as my dad likes to hit the road before full dark falls. So by early evening, everyone is gone, things calm down, and the kids and wife and i sit and watch a Christmas special (ice age) together. They were thrilled to stay up late, and i was happy to just sit and not have anyone needing me for 30 minutes!

And now my family is off to visit the MIL today, and wife suggested i stay home. It was a nice gesture (at last), since i’ve been dealing with a sinus/ear infection all week. And that way she and my MIL can talk about me without my being there. *smiles* Such is life.

The house is blessedly quiet.

I’ve gotten vanilla chores done which is a great feeling, and it’s almost time for lunch.

OH, i forgot the part about the text last night. The Man had gone to bed, and i was up and angsty and SENT him a text …sigh. I guess He needs the bad with the good, and He replied this morning that we needed to talk about my latest round of insecurity.

And really, after a good nights sleep, i was feeling much better.

And he texted me this morning and said He was free to talk, and to call Him.

What a delightful treat. And we chatted for a few minutes, and He got the feel of me, digging into the heart of my upset (which wasn’t about Him at all), and pushing it out of me.

And then He  had me laughing.

“Good, you’re better now, aren’t you, slut?”

And of course, i was. Hadn’t realized how much i needed Him, just that touch in my ear of Him.

He asked about the rest of my day, joking about “cindernilla” chore, as He references my life sometimes. And i did have one ‘cn’ chore to get done, but it was almost done when we talked.

And i told Him that i was going to spend a big chunk of the afternoon writing in the peace of my house.

“Oh, good.” He says.

“Get your small buttplug and wear it while you write.”

*silence*

And then i giggle. In what other place and time could i be so totally “healed” and loved and cared for than this one? Where wearing an ass-plug reconnects me to my submission, allows me to fall into that still, quiet place inside, and serve?

And really, isn’t this the best place to be?

*smiles*

**addendum**

i never did get to write. The cindernilla chore took waaay longer than anticipated, and then that led to another project, and another. You know how that goes sometimes.

But it was quiet and nice.

Talking to the Man later that night, He asked if i’d written at all during the day.

“no, Master, i didn’t.”

“So, no ass plug.” (This is a statement, spoken in that true deadpan way He has at times.  i can almost hear Him thinking.)

“no Master, no plug”

“Ah.”

Long pause.

“Are you writing tonight?”

“yes Master. Do i still need the plug?” i ask hopefully.

“Did you think you were going to avoid it by writing later in the evening?”

“no, not at all Master. You said to wear the plug if i wrote during the day.”

“Is it still today, nilla?”

“um. yes Master, it’s still today.”

“Then what do you think? Of course you need the ass plug. If you write now. Or, since I’m thinking of it, if you write at midnight, or wake up with a good story at 2 a.m., or up to 7 a.m. Does that cover it for you, little girl?”

“Yes Master.”

And indeed it did. Wrote my novel, and the bulk of this post with that plug firmly entrenched.

And just for the record…i was NOT trying to avoid the plug.

Actually, i kinda like it.

But don’t tell Him i said that!

28 thoughts on “Life Stuff aka Good Thing?Bad Thing?

  1. Nilla, is your sister younger or older than you are? Reason I ask is that my sister is 4 years younger than I am and I could cheerfully go another 90 years or so without seeing her again. She’s always after me to get a ‘real job’ etc… sigh… gag!

    I can commiserate with you over life intruding when all you want is peace and quiet. I’ve had more plans disrupted than I care to think of lately. sigh…

    However, I did have to laugh about the fact that talking to the big M made you feel better, complete with butt plug! LOL! Love you dear!

    1. i am the eldest.

      and my sister is socially inept. She’s gotten better but…in the family dynamic? she never lets things go. She remembers specific incidents that happened when we were kids and harkens back to it.

      like…i just want to choke her. Seriously smack her upside the head.

      and i’ve told her (many times)….sis, we were kids. kids DO shit like that. (i never did anything dangerous or harmful…but kid stuff…stole her doll, etc) And that was eons ago. Now we’re grown ups. OLD grown ups at that.

      i’ve even said “get the fuck over it already”….

      it never lasts.

      (but it will shut her up for a minute or two!)

      hug back…
      nilla

      1. You need to do what I did to my oh so annoying sister. Look at her, smile and say “(insert name here) I love you.” Then walk away.
        Or, as Wolf said,… “And what you gonna do about it?”

        Sometimes family is such a pain in the ass.

  2. Their simple orders do wonders for us…
    The peace… *sigh* nothing can compare.
    To know that you are loved, cherished AND protected. 🙂 🙂
    I think every family has someone like that. Though it’s mostly my extended family who is like that.
    hugs,
    Alujna

    1. Thanks alujna….much appreciated…and yes, how they settle us. Often with just a word or command…something simple and focused.

      Its good to be cherished!

      nilla

  3. Sounds like a Clint Eastwood movie – ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly’. Take your pick as to which person/group is which. Master is The Good, you are The Bad and your family was The Ugly? But, at least it’s over for another year…….

    1. DEar Mick…i am so behind on blog reading with wifey on vacation…i will try to do the midseason catchup!!!

      and will def. read that post!

      nilla

  4. Sorry your sister was such a pain in the neck. She sounds lonely. Which doesn’t make it any more pleasant for you!!

    I’m soooo glad your Master is giving you what you need. I wish you could have been together physically, but He is there for you in other ways, and I’m happy that He makes you feel good.

    As for your vanilla life, hmmm. At least your wife may be recognizing that you need some things you aren’t getting? I hope so.

    lots of hugs,

    aisha

    1. yeah, she is introverted, and lonely. She has her first boyfriend (she’s 50)…and still lives at home with my Dad.

      And i empathize. I do. But i hate to be with her. (and yet, it was my idea to bring her along on our family vacation next year…somedays i wonder what the fuck i was thinking….? LAUGHS)

      AS to the wife…yeah. i think she gets it. And wanna know why? My middle kiddo defended me to his gramma. She was all “so your mom was freaking out at Thanksgiving,??” as they drove out to pick up the pizza when they went up to visit her….

      and he turned to her (the kid who rarely speaks)…and said “You know, I can see where Mom was coming from…”

      MIL was so impressed that he’d defended me that she told wifey…and wifey told me about it.

      and then gave me some space. NOt tons. But enough.

      Thanks for the hugs…

      nilla

  5. Having six sisters, i can commiserate. Families; they can be a real bitch sometimes, but what would we do without the most of them?

    It’s so good you got a little ear time with the Man, too.

    Cheers, nilla dear!

    :p

    1. ear time….love that phrase!

      Thanks sweetie. Its not that i wish anything to happen to my family, but my sister just never matured. It’s like we’re still 10 and 8 ….she never lets things go. “remember the time you…” blah blah blah.

      No. I don’t. I was 10. I was a kid. that was 42 fucking years ago, get the fuck over it.

      sigh.

      nilla

  6. I also have a sister who can talk a mile a minute and say nothing that can be called conversation, the only thing that matters is her church. I am glad to live several states away and even that might be too close!

    1. LOL! I rarely talk to my sis coz she makes me crazed. OTOH…. i get along great with my sis in law. We often joke that we should have married…

      nilla

  7. Family can be a bitch especially more so around the holidays. Unfortunately you can choose your friends but you can’t chose your family. I have a sister that sounds so much like yours it’s unbelievable. You have no idea how many times I have thought of stuffing a ball gab in her mouth.

    Glad some talk time with Master was able to bring you back down to earth.

    SS

    1. LOL…

      i did amuse myself by picturing a gag in her mouth!! My gods she drives me insane. And i know i should overlook it for two days a year, but gods…does she need to make up for the entire year of not talking to me much over a 48 hour period of time??

      Thanks for the empathy, Southern Sir!

      nilla

      1. someone posted a link about ipad corrections that were MEGA oops…and i about busted a gut laughing…this one was quite tame in comparison!!! but it did make me giggle!

        nilla

  8. I wonder what family members would do if someone reminded them of what happened when they were younger and acted up! “If you don’t SHUT UP I’m gonna BEAT your ass!” Could you see a bunch of older relatives saying that? My own sister-in-law (50+) says that if ANY husband acts up ‘then he needs a spanking’. She is 5-foot-nothing and my brother still gives her ‘The Look’ when she says it. Hmmm…….. No clue if she spanks him, but I’m sure he would end up being VERY obedient!

    1. i did say something grumbly about all the noise and chatter. but yanno, it only makes me the bitch.

      and i don’t have anything other than a pure vanilla household, Dave. And i’d never say
      anything like that around my kids…remember i have several who are very little.

      nilla

  9. Glad you feel a bit better, now I know why I like going to camp. I can sit and watch the river in front for hours and if I don’t hear anything but the water, I’m fine with that. Tip

    1. yes, yes yes yes yes!!!!

      i could sit and watch a river flowing for hours. i’m sadly, not as much an ocean person, but a river, especially waterfalls (and they can be small ones…i’m not a waterfall elitest!!)….oh heaven.

      Although….oh gods…a story is born….

      nilla

  10. Love your real life Nilla stuff. Cindernilla…..brilliant. Man, you can’t get anything past your Master can you Nilla? LOL. He’s awesome. Just what you need. I’m happy about that. Isn’t it great when our Masters take the time to tend to our little insecurities.

    1. Thanks Ava…he is brilliant, isn’t he? He can’t change my vanilla life, but he makes it bearable..and makes me smile!

      He has taken my issues, and put a big bow on them; ofttimes, it is more about our perception changing to help things not be so …difficult.

      And he is truly a Master at that.

      nilla

I'm so glad you took the time to leave some words!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.