So, as i’ve already complained to aisha and Donna, it’s been a week of sheer Domination hell.
Which is quite a trick, since i don’t believe in hell.
He even made me cry last night, being a bit mean when i complained. *sigh* They are what they are, our Masters, Dom’s or Sirs…and we are what we are.
And i’ve been short on orgasms this week which makes me moody. And in the middle of things, i had a mega-sneezing attack, which results in a stoopid nose bleed. I hate when that happens. (Apparently i am now allergic to my body lotion. hrumph.)
So short on orgasms makes me…
oh, you know…
horny-er, i guess.
And Sunday, when we meet, He’ll tease me about making me cry. i hate crying, i don’t cry pretty. i get a red nose, and red eyes, and a swollen face, and it’s just not pretty.
Then again, You Doms…it’s not always about pretty, is it?
We, subs, i mean, we spend time planning the right outfit, the right makeup, the right jewelery and accessories. We want to look *perfect* for you.
And what do YOU do?
You mess us the fuck up.
You mess with our heads. You mess with our makeup. You mess us up.
Snotty, teary, drooly, slutty-wet….
You do that to us.
And you know what?
This is not where i was headed, at all, when i sat down to write this. It was supposed to be a little bit of excited fluff.
And then we (Master and nilla) had our little…tiff? Less than a tiff. An Edict and a pout.
So …to get back on track here… He has spent all week ramping me up. Tuesday i could have an orgasm….but no fucking. Dildo in the pussy, vibe on the clit, and that was it. ONE orgasm.
Yeah, it was a GREAT orgasm.
But i wanted …yanno…
Yes, i was whispering there.
That’s what i wanted. So, i told Him. I told Him i loved the orgasm, but i really really really loved fucking and my pussy was craving it, badly.
“Oh, okay,” He sez.
OH fuck nilla, why can’t you ever learn to shut the fuck UP?
(i’m just killin’ that December resolution to stop dropping the F bomb, aren’t i?)
Never let your guard down when the Big D says “oh, okay”…it’s like their only warning sign.
So Wednesday, after squirming my way through the day, He tells me he’ll let me have a half-an O.
WTF is half an O?
So, of course i ask.
And He goes quiet. For several hours. And then He drops the bomb on me.
“I want you to fuck yourself nilla. Really, go to town on your pussy. Fuck and fuck and fuck.”
“But no cumming.”
*WAAAAAIIIIIIILLLLLLL* *OH NOOOOO*
“That’s it,” He sez. “That’s your half-O. And Thursday, as you know, is ZNN. Goodnight little girl.”
i hear Him laughing as He disconnects the phone.
It was *torture*. (He loves getting O-reports that start that way.)
To come right to the edge of that precipice and not fall over? Whoa.
Shivered for quite a while after that, as my breathing came back to normal. And then fell, surprisingly, into a very deep sleep.
Until 1130 p.m.
See? This is where it gets crazy stoopid. Like…even now, writing this, i think…how could i have?
It wasn’t ZNN yet.
There were 30 minutes left on the time, and He hadn’t said i couldn’t fuck around…just that i couldn’t cum.
So i fucking A did it again.
Roused myself to all sorts of ecstatic heights. Shivering and moaning with desire and need.
It felt so fucking fucking amazing.
And then i had to turn it off, put it away.
Didn’t get much sleep after that. Not much sleep at all. What a dumb slut i can be sometimes.
And i have to put ALL of that into the O report.
He was delighted. He was thrilled. He was amused.
So amused, that after ZNN day, for Friday Night (Phone) Fuck….He had me do it again. Over the phone.
So He could hear my thrilling misery.
He laughed. He listened very carefully. He was talking and then…i got hot so fast. He knows me so well.
“nilla. You sound very close. You’d better stop now.”
And it’s true. i was already so sensitive. So needy. Maybe, perhaps…i fucked my poor needy pussy for 2 minutes.
So i stopped. And then was *forbidden* to do any more.
Just in case.
It’s Saturday night as i write this. And i got the ZNN word from Him. And argued about being needy, so so so needy.
And we had our little Edict and pout. Or to be more accurate…HIS Edict, my pout.
and i’m still so horny.
Tomorrow i will be with Him.
to be resolved, by Him.