Fuckety Fuck!!

I just deleted an entire post…800 + words of total ranting… and if you are at all offended by the multiple droppings of the f-bomb…well, hell, if you were…you wouldn’t be here, now would you? *grin*

For sure, this thing that has me uber pissed off, well….it’s  not a thing I have control over. However… I can control my responses to it; I’ve learned to roll with a lot of shit over the years, and this is just one more of those things.

Which is why I love being owned by Master.

He gives me balance, perspective, and the loving that I miss in my daily life. He calls me “Cindernilla” did I ever tell you that? Coz I have so many many many chores to do…yeah, my life sure isn’t sunshine and flowers  most of  the time…but these are the very same conditions that led me to this  lifestyle, that led me to writing, that ultimately led me to Master…

In these circumstance, the means justifies the end….and in this case, I’m willing to pay the price I do, to have wound up here, in this place, with this Master of mine, and all this ability to “outlet” my frustrations, and channel it into sexy tales that free my spirit…and turn you on….and turn me on.

Of course…you’re not being turned on today!

Obviously you are not reading the next installment of  “The Mechanic” as I’d thought you would be today. Instead, my Monday was filled, every fucking minute of it, with Vanillaville. It’s a crazy week, compounded by July 4th mid-week, and the wife and kids going camping for the latter half of the week, and my MIL deciding to come and keep me company…when I was hoping to sneak out and get some Master time. We’ll see if that happens at all.

And tomorrow? Writing is on the top of my “To Do” list. (It’s even before clean the toilet and sink… 🙂 )

BTW…Master has put me on a diet. So you’ll have Him to thank for any bitchy moods that might erupt in the next few months. We’ll see …I am actually very pleased with today (day 1) …I ate more food today that I have in any other single day excepting Thanksgiving! But so many veggies…I am using Sparkpeople.com…a great FREE program.

When one is barely 5’2 and nudging 200 pounds? It’s not so pretty. Master says I am *always* beautiful to Him…which just makes me melt…but He’s right. I am not happy with myself.

Hi. I’m nilla…and I’m an Ice Creamaholic.

Hey, there are worse things I could be.

Like…yanno…addicted to sex.



*clears throat*

okay, scratch that one…


Okay, peeps, I need to go and torture myself. Master, in all His kind, generous nature, has gifted me with a half-O tonight.


Ain’t that speshial?

Pay no heed to the slut thrashing on the bed screaming…it’s just me, pulling away my toys before I fall over the edge, and laying there, denied a full-orgasm…

(I love when He tortures me…but this one? It’s the WORST)

(so far!)