It started here, at Ms. Constance’s blog. I’ve met her, you see.  And we laughed, and had the best luncheon, ever. She is funny, and bright, and informed about the community of which she is an integral part. And I have a wee crush on her.  She has a very …I keep coming back to the word “commanding”…presence. Yet in the situations where I was with her, she wasn’t being overtly Dominant. It is just a part of who she is. She “commands” your attention.

It’s not just me. I watched as people were drawn to her, a bevy of bright-colored moths pulled inexorably to the flame. Not that she was going to damage them…but she was the focal point for many. Perhaps it is better to say that she is the Queen Bee…and others buzz about her, seeking her favor? *nods* yes…I like that metaphor better.

Her blog is a chance to get to know her better…but to also catch glimpses of the Dominant mind, which I am increasingly fascinated by. And in her post “Sadist” linked above, she paints a picture for me…and that last line or two? Make me shiver every time I read them. Sexy shivers. The good kind, where that masochist inside of me goes “oooohhhh…”

But this post isn’t only about Ms. Constance. I used her blogpost as insight. And cos reading it seemed to get me into a mindset…

As a slut I love orgasms…they are …awesome. As an Owned slut? I don’t have free will about them anymore.  Don’t get me wrong… I yearned for this for years. The control Master has over me, over my choices, makes me one hot bitch. I’m constantly aroused, always amazed when He pulls a Sadistic trick out of His bag.

Thursday, ZNN Day, was a busy vanilla day for me. Actually most of my vanilla summer days have been busy, with all the renov work I’m doing, the kids, the yard…yada yada…and add in not feeling well this week, and it all sort of piles on.

You would think that when HE adds something to my to do list that it would be the straw, yanno? But it’s not. It’s the balm. It’s the place I need most to be. When I’m tired. When I’m stressed. When I’m overwhelmed. I don’t complain to Him…”oh I’m so overwhelmed, Master”…I just keep on going. Likely He knows coz I don’t text Him as much…or Dom ESP or whatever it is.

I go to my room late, very late, unusual for me to be the last one up, closing the house, going to bed. But on this ZNN Thursday, there was more work to do than there were dayhours.  Reluctantly, I went to bed.

And found two texts from Master.

He is the Master of Mindfuck.

He is my Dominant.

and this night, He is also a  Sadist.

I know, whenever I see “Congratulations!” from Him, to be wary. It means His mind is on me, and I’m gonna get it. The big “it”… And don’t get me wrong here… I frigging LOVE “it”…but it makes me nervous as hell, too.

Guess what I won, on ZNN? The day when there is NO touching, NO orgasms, NO playing. Zero. Nada. Nyet.

I “won” a free half-O.

Clamp on my right nipple only. Vibe on the clit and pussy lips. NO FUCKING. Just the vibe, doing it’s vibey thing, on my pussy.

Right on up until I’m hanging on the edge of the cliff and ready for an Orgasm wave to take me.

Then turn the vibe off, take off the clamp, and go to sleep.

Aisha does a good job of explaining her shock and awe here. It is amazing to feel Master’s hands on me from 20 miles away. Knowing He is laying in His bed and smiling at my discomfiture. Just as in aisha’s tale, afterwards, when I thought I would squirm and roll around and not be able to?

I fell fast and deeply asleep, secure in my “bondage” to Master.

That, my pervie friends, is the Sadist’s touch.

And I’m masochist enough to love every evil second of it.