Spam is Not for Dinner

Sometimes spam amazes me. There was one tonight that caught my fancy. The comment was a bit off, one of those “you make a good point, keep up the good work,” sort of things, and then I check the email address and it says “causes of sore feet”…which just cracks me up. Why? I dunno. But…it just seemed odd to me. And considering how my feet hurt after standing at the Wall for an hour in His “slut shoes (the ones in the header)…al 6.5 inches of them…it was kinda appropos. In a skewed, spammy way.

Then there is the spam that hits post, by post, by post. Same exact thing, sports shirts at discount prices. *shakes head*

And the phenomenon that aisha noted a week or two ago, about the spam that sounded just real enough to be a true comment. For those, I try to write to the email to see if they are really spammers, or people who get caught in the spam net…and they are 99.9% of the time…Spam. But they write some squirmy stuff on those. I wish I had saved the one that I got last week coz that was smokin’ hot and made me a bit…

…um…

turned on.

Yes.

Turned on by spam smut.

That’s kinda dirty isn’t it? And I’m torn between admiration and aggravation, really. How dare they beat me at my own game, and turn me the fuck on and be fucking spam?

And then a bit of shame.

How *easily* I *get* turned on.

And then the shame turns me on a bit…and you see a general self-fulfilling loop developing here,  don’tcha?

Which is why I don’t have that hot spam to share with you…coz the only sane thing to do is throw it the fuck out.

And this little discourse made me flash back to my childhood..and the “real” Spam (talk about an oxymoron!)

No one eats spam anymore do they? Survivalists, maybe? And really..if you ate it, would you admit it?

Maybe a guy would.

Maybe.

But a woman? A cook? The Bastion of the Family Kitchen?

Isn’t there a big old heckle just waiting in there?

“you eat SPAM????! EWWWWWW!”

But yanno, that’s just me maybe. Too many spam meals when I was a kid. That’s back when we were sure that we’d all have George Jetson space planes to commute to work in, and robots helping us clean our homes. When we ate tv dinners in front of the tv after waiting 30 minutes for them to cook in the oven, the tantalizing scent of “fried chicken” wafting into the living room as we watched Walter Cronkite tell us about the VietNam war efforts, and drank our Tang, waiting for 7:00 when Star Trek would come on.

Yeah, I’m old.

But I’m not eating spam for dinner anymore…and not getting turned on by it in my spam box.

nu huh.

17 thoughts on “Spam is Not for Dinner

      1. Hey lady.

        Have you heard of the blog doing twisted fairy tales? They are looking for someone to do a twist on Billy Goat Gruff. That sounds right up your alley. (there is a pun in there somewhere). What do you think?

      2. omg. i hadn’t heard that and I would LOVE to try that one!
        lmk the addy and I’ll run over and wave my hands in the air!

        nilla (thank you!) Hey..why did you think of ME and goats…(mwhahahahahaha!)

  1. My friends went to a SPAM museum – yes the kind you eat. And they bought a bunch of it. And tried to get me (and several others to try it). Umm. No thanks.

    Cute post.

    -sin

    1. a Spam museum? OMG who does that? *laughing*

      as I recall my Mom made hash with it…or cut it up into chunks and fried it. um. ew.

      nilla

  2. Speaking of Spamemories- the worst was when we spent all day in a boat- I was volunteer fish researcher/slave in college, and this one guy would bring a can of spam for lunch. He’d let the can sit in the bilge water all morning, and be either hot or cold, depending on the weather, and then eat it straight out of the can. Turned my stomach. I’ve never eaten spam, ever.

    1. oh. gods.

      First, nilla does NOT do boats (well, kayaks, but not putt-putt boats.)

      she turns green, and wants to die. (guh)

      Add eating spam…out of the can? Geeze…I’ll bet even sharks would turn their snouts up at it. It might get you pulled overboard by a giant squid if you threw it into the ocean, and have all your orifices filled vengefully…ohhh..damn spam! making me horny…again!

      nilla
      🙂

  3. I will admit that I have tried Spam once, the canned variety that is. Never again…even if it was the last thing left on earth to eat. I would rather starve.

    As for the inbox variety, some of it has been amusing and given me a good laugh.
    But you nilla I think you have reached a whole new level in being turned on by it…lol

    SSir

    1. SEE? Proves my point. Men eat spam.

      *giggling*

      okay, I ate spam as a kid but I was forced to (eat it or starve honey–thank gods there were mashed potatoes!)

      And in box spam can be wildly entertaining (as can search terms!)…thanks for commenting, Southern Sir!

      nilla

  4. Omigod. i will not tell you how my ex’s mother used to fix spam because you would be too appalled. Let me just say that for the first few years we were married, i could do no wrong in the kitchen. Spam…. yikes.

    aisha

  5. I suspect you are as easily turned on, as a teen age boy with his first beautiful teacher. Are you sure that at some point in your life, someone didn’t hypnotize you and give you a key word like “hello” to turn you on? Tip

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