This is not a happy post.

I have fucked things up with Master…broke a rule, and He is very very VERY unhappy with me.

And I am beyond sad, and deep into despondent. And crying. And unhappy. And sometimes life sucks.

And sometimes I fuck up.

The perfect submissive?


Fucking far from that.

I won’t be responding to comments for a few days while He and I work through this. IN the grand scheme of things, it was a small transgression, but it was flagrant…and that’s where the bad shit lies.

He won’t talk to me for a few days because He is terribly busy at His work, and why make time for a sub who fucked up?


Just..yeah. Fuck.

Doesn’t help much to say “Master, I am sorry. Really sorry. I know You are mad at me. I’m mad at me too. And… forgive me.”

Because He rarely reads here. And He will eventually forgive me. And soon things will be sunshine and roses again.

But for now?

It’s gloomy skies, and teardrops.



inspired by a certain dreamer…~nilla~

“Come here.”

“Sure, be there in a sec, just want to …”


His voice rarely rose. She always admired that. It was the firmness that changed. This was pretty fucking rigid. She turned from the closet, blouse in one hand, hanger in the other. Poking the air with both, as if to say “see, Master, I’m doing something here”, she froze as she took in the scene before her.

He stood at the door, shirtless. That arrow of hair that led to his crotch always made her mouth water. His jeans rode low on his hips, likely because they were unfastened. The stiff rod of his cock hung out of the slit of his jockeys, the head slick with wetness. Her mouth pooled with saliva.

“Get the fuck over here and suck this.”

She didn’t notice the blouse flutter to the floor, didn’t hear the hanger thump onto the rug at her feet. Wasn’t even aware as she stepped quickly across the room, all but falling at His feet. Her knees hit the floor between His feet, her lips parted, and his cock was filling her.

The heat of him! The weight of his cock. The velvet texture of his skin, and the curling veins. All of these sensations were absorbed quickly. There was no thought, just feelings. The taste of his prick, salty against her tongue, made her pussy ooze. She felt her lower lips plump, the sudden and insistent throb of her clit. Resisting the urge to rub her swollen clit, she instead cupped his balls, weighing them in the palm of her hand, caressing them gently with her thumb.

Grabbing her head with one large hand, he pressed inward against her lips, filling her mouth. Sliding his rod deep, until her eyes watered, as she fought the urge to gag. She did anyway. Dammit.

He grinned down at her. It was an unspoken contest, could she take him far enough that she could please him without choking. He told her she’d never do it, that he’d make her gag on his dick every-damn-time he wanted to.

She really hated that smug face he made at her, yet she greedily hoped he’d do it again. The choking was a turn on. His shaft slid up and over her tongue, and then he rammed her head down. She gagged.

“Shut up and suck.”

She angled her glare up at him, making him laugh. “You cunt. Suck my dick and make it good.”


She lay back on the floor, glazed with his cum. For whatever reason, He denied her his juice today,  had decided to cum on her face. Wiping his jizz over her lips, her cheeks, he’d tucked himself away and told her to get on with her chores. Moments later the back door slammed shut, and she heard the leaf blower kick on.

If only she could remember what she had been doing before his blowjob break. She lay there smiling. Sometimes she got so sidetracked sucking cock! She giggled. Brained by a cock. Braindeaded by a cock. No!