Behind…no ~wait~…not *that* “behind”…

….you pervs.


I’m behind on writing posts. It was my plan, you see, to have stories neatly all written out for you all during the Thanksgiving break. With family here, and increase in my work hours right up until Turkey Day, I’m flat out. Like next to zero time. But here I am on Tuesday night, writing a post…and I need to get my ass to bed and have an orgasm! A GIANT one. That is, if Master ever answers His phone and GIVES me one. Dammit. 🙂

If you go here, you’ll see this headline:

TOP 100 SEX BLOGGERS of 2012

And guess who is on the list again? Yay! Yes.. me! I’m so psyched it’s silly. Coz I am number ten.



When I started writing here 3 years ago, it was just to relieve the pain and longing of my head. To dream my little dreams of bondage and sex. Because what I read on the internet at that time was …mostly….crap. Not to say that I never have a misspelled word. Or that I use perfect grammar…coz we all know I fall into the habit of colloquialism usage quite a bit. For me this blog is a conversation, as if we’re sitting at the table having tea. Ask Aisha…I really talk like this (and usually in a big long rush) all the time!

In a story, it’s not so much conversation, i grok the difference….but although I’m really not aiming for a Pulitzer here, I want you (and me) to be able to read here and not be totally grossed out by illiteracy.

I like sex. I like “perverted” sex. I like to be hit, and fucked, I like to masturbate to dirty stories….and dammit…I want some decently written stuff. If you read “she fuked herself on dildo stuck on tub…” instead of “she slid down onto the dildo that she’d pressed onto the tub wall, bending and slowly easing back until it parted her lips, then entered her.”….well…there’s a huge difference there, right?  I like to write. I’m pretty good at it, and I like to write this sexy stuff.

Stuff that will turn me on.

I’ll NEVER forget the first time I read a snuff piece. I had NO idea what the little codes were on the stories on ASSTRA…and Kristen Archives…for you who also don’t know, let me share.

Snuff means dead.

Like, he kidnaps her fucks her and stabs her to death.

Like…yeah it’s porn.

But what’s the fucking point there? How is that even remotely what I am searching for. That story is ultimately what got me started. I wasn’t just disgusted by it.

I was pissed.


Madder than pissed.

I ranted (in my head) about that story for days. See? even now, writing about it? That rage simmers. I want a sex story that has a point. That turns me on, that makes my blood run hot, and my pussy, hotter. Not, definitely NOT cold and dead.


Snuff just isn’t mah thing, ya’ll. And if it’s yours? You won’t find it here, to be sure. I’m way more of a Happy ever after, or happy for now kinda slut. And yup, I write dark stuff too..there in my “Dark Fantasies” blog. Not always HEA, but never, ever snuff.

Where the fuck was I going with all this?

Oh, right. Top 100. So I started writing coz I didn’t find anything out there that turned me on. Everyone I read was writing real life stuff, which was fascinating but not exactly what I was looking for either.

Ergo…vanillamom was born. I wasn’t an aspiring writer. I just wanted something good to fantasize about while masturbating. Shocking I know.


And then I got readers. So I wrote for them. And now I write for ME and you all as well. If you like something, you let me know, and that’s pretty damn nice. It has given me courage to work towards publishing…although really? That’s not my hugest aspiration.

When I first started reading porn? There was no way I could afford it, nor bring it into the house. My first mission is not to make money publishing porn. It’s to let you all get some decent quality stuff that you can get off to, without having to make a dent in your pocket. Yeah. I know, that’s anti publishing. *shrugs* The idea for me is that not everyone has the freedom/flexibility to be able to buy porn…but most people can come here and read free stuff. And if it gives you a woody, or makes you squishy…then all to the good.

So now here I am, up there in the top ten of the top 100 sex bloggers.

I guess I could say I owe it all to my pussy. 🙂 Or in writer-speak:

“Her wanton, craven pussy drove her into writing. She needed to give voice to all the terrible desires that burned deeply inside of her, to release the dragons that lusted within, and free the aching need from the chains that held her in check.”


***ON another note***

(does that make you go “laaaa” like in angel voice? me too!)

On Sunday after work I had some time to kill before going to the City to fetch the teen. I got to hang with Master for an hour which was lovely. It is the most interesting blend of vanilla and Dom. We’ll be talking along and He’ll just drop something naughty into the conversation and I’ll get all flustered and blush and hide my face. When I peek up at Him, He’s grinning that wicked grin of His…funny Master. Verrah funnah.

I got Him a gift for His birthday. The “why” of it isn’t important, really. What is funny is it’s been something I’ve looked for, why…for ages…blue and white christmas lights. I got two different strings, a long one and a short one. I wasn’t certain quite how big the small tree is in His sitting room. (There is a “public” tree in the living room. This is strictly for Master in His private space.) He looks at the second (larger) set and just…it was a good gift. He looks at the first string and …gets this …well I call it the Dom look. When He’s going to say or do something that is NOT what I intended the gift to be.

You know. A pervertable. Kinda like that fucking pink brush.

And He beams. Just…fucking glows…and says “nilla, these will look soooo good on you.”



I quickly resemble a landed carp. Mouth opens, closes. Opens, closes. No words. I wave my hands in the air between us.

Shake my head.

No. No ono onono nnoooo

I don’t want to hear this. And He doesn’t. Just a few little…body movements to let me know exactly where some of the lights are going.


no no..

and I giggle. So fucking embarrassed. I had *no* fucking idea He’d use fucking christmas lights in a pervertable fashion. No idea. That…innovative Man.

At least indoor/outdoor lights are wet proof.

I hope. 🙂

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving everyone! Tomorrow is Turkey Day in the USA…but here in nilla land,  it’s still HNT!