HNT – Fuck but I HATE Math!

Yes…this is…or will be…a HNT post. ¬†But I have to start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start, right?

It starts with a box of hair color.

See…I’ve been a bit unhappy with my color of late. And the color that I really liked a ton was one Master didn’t like all that much AND it was very hard on my hair, AND it bled out like I was in Psycho with each and every shower. (Trust me, I tried *everything* to get it to stop weeping red…nothing worked but switching to a different hue, different maker.)

And they didn’t make my old favorite copper-y color (dunno where it went but one day it was gone.)

And there I was in the department store holding a “NEW SUPER RED” color in my hands. Neat! It was “cherry” red and promised to add “zing” and “luster” to my hair.

Oh, it did. My hair was delightfully shiny…but less delightfully? It was purple-red. My most hated red tone of all!


(This is where the Dom’s stop reading because under their Dom clothing, they are MEN, my subsisters, and MEN could give a rat’s ass about colorants. I’m guessing my Master won’t get even this far when He does his proofreading of this post… ūüôā ¬†)

My hair didn’t take the color evenly, so it was BLOTCHY and purple-red.

IN short?

(heh…at 5’1″….I do everything “short”… )

It was beyond disgusting. It was terrible. It was horrible. I wanted it gone.

I did what I could, the condition, wrap, hot towel thing did lighten it a bit, but not enough.

And strangely enough? When I got up the next morning? It was still fugly. Really. I thought the Hair Fairy would show and fix it while I slept. Huh. That cunt. Skipped *my* house. (Maybe because I had wicked insomnia and was laying awake until 3 a.m.? I don’t think the fairies come if you’re still awake, so that could be all my fault…!)

I decided to talk to my friends and they recommended that I call my hairdresser PRONTO and she would likely fit me in. They were right! And she did. And over the course of the next THREE (yes, Three-!) hours, I had my hair highlighted in the worst “streak areas” to pull the color out, and then recolored. It is still in the cherry red colorway but so so SO much better.

Yet…I wonder if Master will hate it?

Or worse?

He might not even notice.

I’m not sure which is worse, actually.


little update Sat. night–He saw it and didn’t hate it. “At least,” He said, “it is dark. Dark is nice, I prefer it in the darker red tones.” So yay…

The one true blessing about red is that it fades dramatically fast. Now, I’ve been doing it myself for a LONG time…but it’s only the second fuck-up that I’ve had, though the first one quite¬†this bad. The color I see in my mirror doesn’t come out well in pictures…but here’s a go….


It’s not horrible, but definitely not what I’m used to, to be sure.

So on my way home from work, I was telling Master about it. He’s adamant about not getting highlights, He HATES them…and I had to recount the entire day with the hairdresser to Him, reassuring Him that yes there are technically highlights, but no, you cannot really tell.

At the end He asks me how much I spent.

“$80.00” I say.

He kind of yelps the way men do when they find out how much women spend on such things. (which is why I usually do it myself).

“Well, actually it was $70…but I gave her a $15 tip,” I clarify.


A heavy sigh through the phone.

“Yes Master?”

“nilla, 70 + 15 is 85. Not 80.”

“Oh, right. 85. That’s what I paid her.”


“Yes Master?”

“You suck at math.”

And then he gives me a freaking assignment. I have to write that little math problem. One-fucking-hundred times. And then I have to take a picture of it. And post it here.


There ya go…100 lines of 70 + 15= 85….. ¬†additionally (oh! a math word!) ¬†I was *required* to write this post, you see. Oh, I mighta told you all about the Great Hair Saga someday, if I didn’t have a story done or something…but this was a *demand* by that Master ‘o mine.

I think He wants you to know about the torture and torment I put HIM through…(the whole hair thing makes him nuts–such a¬†guy–)…and to let you know that in reality…I really DO suck at math. ūüôā

Since I was “stuck” having to do a post about hair and math, AND because I had that serialized Princess story running, I had to think quick about the how/when/what of posting it.

So I asked Him…. “Master, can it be a HNT?”

He sighs. “I don’t give a¬†fuck what it is, nilla. I want those problems written and posted within a week, got it?”

“Oh, Yes Sir!” I said, kind of giggling. Got it indeed…and got a great idea about how to make it work, too…!

Snapshot_20130118_11And for fiona, our resident¬†mathematician¬†..there’s a little ode to zero there, too… (laughing hysterically…)