Perfectly Mean Master

He’s fierce. Firm. Usually unyielding.

It is next to impossible to make Him change His mind – if He says “no O tonight, little girl”? It really IS ‘no O tonight’.

This is *exactly* the kind of man, the sort of Dominant that I was searching for way back at the start of my journey. Back when I was first learning about submission.

And hell, I write all kinds of fairy tales, and happy-ever-afters where the Dom and submissive NEVER get into any serious conflict, and the action is all about what happens on their way to an orgasm, or twenty.

Or mostly that sort.

And I’m fine with that.

Just understand, if you’re new here, or a new submissive, that REAL submission just isn’t like a fairy tale. There are some bad days. Your Master, your Sir, your Dom? Not perfect. Perfect for you, maybe. But mostly?

Human.

He’ll have bad days that have *nothing* to do with  YOU..but you’ll have to bear the brunt of the mood. He’ll have days when the smallest thing will annoy Him.

YOU’ll have bad days when it seems like He hasn’t responded to a single text, and you KNOW He doesn’t love you anymore, because if he TRULY loved you, He’d respond INSTANTLY, within seconds of you sending that needy, heartfelt text.

Am I right?

*laughs*

Yeah, we’ve all been there. We’ve all walked a part of that journey. And sometimes, even having done it time and again? It still hurts, it still makes us feel those niggley little doubts. Even after 3 years, I tend to get a bit…well, He calls it “being womanish”, which is Master speak for an eyeroll. It annoys Him, I know, that I still have these flare-ups of doubt.

How many times have any of us longed for more than we were getting, staring with longing at someone else’s “perfect” relationship, wanting that very same thing?

Yeah. It happens with me, too.

And you know what I find out every damn time?

My relationship with Him is pretty near perfect…for us. I’m not looking, He’s not looking, at anyone other than each other. And if He can’t answer a text it isn’t because He doesn’t love me.

Sometimes I forget that He travels, often for hours at a shot, and in some areas of the northeast, you can’t talk on a cell while driving. Or He might just be in Boston and you all know that traffic in our hometown is terrifying on the best of days.

So back to what I was saying….

Master and i had a brief tiff last week. It was micro-short. And dammit, I thought I hid it so well.

12.

That’s how many hours it had been since I’d last heard from Him. Ours is not a “true” LDR as we do get to see one another briefly every week or two…but most of our communication is text and calls. When that fails?

I fret.

You all know this, I’ve said it before. And I went through all the stages listed above, but I sent Him a very short, “understanding” sort of text.

He understood that I was being “womanish” again. I walked all around it, as carefully as could be…but He knew. He knew I was teetering on the edge of being pissy.

He’s begun, He told me later, to correlate these pissy moments to the amount of orgasms that He gives me. A lot of them? Longer times before I hit a womanish place. Less O’s? Less than 9 days.

This man is pretty fucking smart.

Wisely, (oh, so wisely) I refrained from pointing out the obvious. If He wants less womanish, then give me more O’s. Right?

Yet He (oh so wisely) understands that He is in control and I *like* that, as perverse as it is. Sure I’d love a hundred O’s a week. I’m not stupid. Yet even more than the orgasms,  I love the feeling of His controlling them even more than getting them.

And that is part of what makes our relationship work. He knows what feeds me,  He likes what He likes, and together we’ve welded our “likes” to match our “needs”.

We’re not perfect. But we are perfect for each other.