Master wrote me a very wonderful response to my post on Monday. I was going to share it, but I think I’m just going to hold it close to my heart. The final thing he said to me when I called to thank him, was “remember nilla–you write for you–no one else. Everyone who reads is just along for the ride with you.”
That moved me. I’ve always said that, this is my place, and I’m so glad you all come along and read and comment…but once in a while I forget, and I get taken aback when there is the occasional negative remark. These are my fantasies, and I *know* that I’m not going to hit every person’s personal “thing”, right?And some of my things will be things that utterly repulse some of you. Some of you are turned off by the stories I’ve written about doggie sex, for instance, and some don’t like rape stories (though there are a lot of us pervies who do get all wet and quivery about the *fantasy* of rape sex. This in NO WAY condones rape culture, or the thought that a girl should get nailed because her skirt was too short. This here is a fantasy. No more, no less.)
So…one of my little fetishes is writing Octo-porn. 🙂 Tentacles in all their many forms both repulse me…and turn me on. So imagine my surprise when I was hunting for Easter basket goodies at big box store…and found these:
I LOVE them, love them. I’ll wear them every time I sit to write a tale of dastardly tentacles!
My bruises are fading, and I’m quite sad about it. The ones on my thigh and ass and shoulder are still pretty much there, but a bunch on my left arm turned green the other day (and that’s kind of unpretty, yanno?) and are now faded to pale. I think the one on my left thigh, which I don’t believe I printed here, will be black and blue for another week. It’s funny coz that one doesn’t hurt all that much, really, He just managed to hit just right with that fucking pink brush.
You’re likely to be hit with a string of nilla ramblings this week, as it is a wonderfully busy week just before Easter. I’m working 11 hours on Saturday, and part of Easter morning (I don’t mind, I’m a pagan. I don’t really enjoy the church thing on Easter, though our church is VERY liberal, mostly humanist, with a lot of pagans thrown in for spice. But…it’s not my scene so I’m happy to have the work hours. We’ll do the whole egg-hunt thing when we all gather again post-church. My kids have been good about it, too. Our Bunny is clever, he likes to hide clues in the eggs, making them run up and down stairs to find the next, until they find the last one leading to their baskets. He’s even smart enough to do pictorial ones for my two non-reading kids. 🙂
And Master and I will maybe get a wee hook up time on Friday evening as I journey into the City to wait for the teen kiddo. He’s going to a dance with the g/f. We’ll see how that all plays out. Hopeful though.
Looks like the snow storm slated (last week, at least) to strike the northeast tomorrow…will miss. Hall-lay-loo-yah! We’ve finally danced above 40* and should get there again today (Monday). All the snow we got last week has nearly melted. And I planted my tomato seeds Sunday afternoon. 🙂 It will be a long time before I can plant them outside, but at least they have begun!
ON the D/s front?
Master has been a HUGE BIG MEANIE!
He offered me a “deal” with “better than house odds”…He challenges my math “skills” frequently. I could have an O on Saturday night, for sure.
Or I could risk the odds and get TWO o’s on Sunday. 55% odds that I’d get it if I waited.
He even UPPED the ante, pushing my odds up later Saturday night. But no. I stuck to my guns. I was fucking horny, no O since Tuesday, and I was resolute.
My son was volunteering at an event at church, with friends of mine bringing him back home. As the hour approached 11, I texted him. My “day” ends at midnight and if I don’t get an O in, tough tooties. He didn’t answer the first text.
11:15 I text again.
He says they have one more load of dishes to do, maybe 30 minutes. My heart sinks. It’s a 30 minute drive home. I’m fucked. Or, as I like to say, unfucked.
I try to text Master to see if there is still a chance…but no answer. He was asleep. Or ignoring me. Or laughing. One of those.
So no O when I finally fell into bed, exhausted, at 1245 a.m. I’d been up since 530 a.m., worked a 9 hour shift at work, saw Master, came home and waited for the teen to arrive back. All the while being uber horny, needing an O so much.
I tried last night. He was in a foul mood. Just…human, you know. And disinclined to give *me* pleasure. Now…He’s just enjoying torturing me, and it’s apparent that I’ll have to wait until my “usual” day, Tuesday, before I get an O. (as I sit here, throbbing and wanton as I write this)
He is such a Bastard sometimes.
(and yes, I do like it that way–otherwise what’s the point, right? But I still get to grouse about it. 🙂 win-win even when it’s a lose-lose.)
When I talked to Him Monday night He was totally set on my not getting an O. He won’t change His mind very often…even though His mood was sunnier. A bit sunnier…and enjoying that I was all wanton and needy. I’d tried ALL evening to soften Him up, sending Him texts while I was working… I even co-opted a song from the 50’s, rewriting the words, something about “now He holds my o’s,” and then I got busy, and about 20 minutes passed before I looked at my phone.
We’re here this beautiful day to celebrate the (former) life of Nilla the Slut – who left this planet after constantly pestering her M -even though the song was clever.
“nilla the slut sits quietly in the corner like a good girl.”
And so I left Him alone until I knew He was driving home from work. Which is why I’m glad I had the most of this text written since we talked through my bed hour. 🙂
You’ll note that in my text to Him I said “like” a good girl, not that I *am* a good girl. 🙂 Need to leave those “pestering options” open. *laughs*
(this is uber rambley…even for me!)
I started a story..well…actually, being the ADD person I am, I started one story, got up to make a cuppa (tea) and on my way back? Got an idea for a 2nd story so I started that one.
Which means that neither is done. But both are half-done. Tomorrow should be an easier day. We’ll see. But thanks to sofia for the idea for story one. Her blog entry today made a naughty little tale pop right into my head. I love when that happens.
One final thing…I thank you…ALL of you…for your comments over the weekend, and especially on Monday. We’ve all been judged, and likely even judged someone else (I know I have, and paid the price for it, of personal and public embarrassment for not remembering my manners)…I will respond to each of you, just know that I’m really backlogged. I very much value all your thoughts, and the time that you take in writing to me.
Be well my friends.