nilla had a reallllly not good, very bad, terrible Saturday evening. The day was SUPER busy at work, it was my 13th consecutive day of work without a day off, and I was wiped. The. Fuck. Out.
And I had to play Mom Taxi after work, which didn’t thrill me.
And I couldn’t reach The Man.
Like…at ALL, all afternoon, on my drive home, and while I was out doing MomTaxi errands.
From 2 p.m. onward, I was mildly freaked out. And okay, some pissed off, too. When we finally connected around 10 p.m. I was in FULL – BLOWN PISSY MOOD.
I told my wife off, told the teen off, and told off the Master via text.
Anyone know the old camp song “no body likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna eat some worms….big fat juicy ones, slip slop slimy ones, fuzzy wuzzy muzzy old worms” ?
I felt that way.
And He texted something back, that normally would have made me laugh but this time only stoked the flames. You know how it goes. But rather than lashing out, I just said “pffff-a pissed off nilla stomps off to bed” and that was it.
I actually slept like a rock.
I needed sleep. I needed a day off. I needed time to just putz around. I took a long shower, envisioning my black mood sliding out with the soap suds. Worked for about 10 minutes, which is how long my shower was. Then I came out and resumed wearing the dark cloak of gloom.
Thankfully I got to facebook chat a dear beloved friend who let me vent, and then I bit the bullet and called the Man.
At the root of my disappointment/anger/angst was the knowledge that our meet, which was to have been at mid-morning–would have to be cancelled, due to an obligation of Mom’s Taxi Service. And I was crushed.
It’s been two weeks with zero face time…I was needy and sad–a mess.
I sometimes just don’t give Him enough credit.
He is UBER flexible with time. That’s just how He lives, one day at a time. (How I wish I could emulate that.) I told him of my anger/angst and the sadness.
“Well nilla, I’m flexible. We can meet later if that works.”
We hooked up not terribly far from me (that was what was SO frustrating…He was going to be near me, and I was heading closer to where-He-lives…oh the bitter irony) and spent almost an hour together. He made me laugh.
I worked very hard at not crying. He hates when I cry from being sad, (and none caused by Him…just stress and family shit) and He —
well, He maintenanced me, sitting in my car in a parking lot.
Pain, squeezing along my tits, my belly, my sides, interspersed with tickles. Sometimes simultaneous. That makes my brain want to explode, btw…as I laugh while He hurts me with those damned pinchy fingers….the old gray matter doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind as my Dad used to say. 🙂 It’s true.
As I drove back to finish my errands, I noted that I was verrah wet. It’s a combo wet…being with Master, being “maintenanced”–simply being cared about…all combined to make me very very turned on. He knew exactly what I needed, He gave me the care He deemed would “fix me”…and boy does He know me well!
It was a delightful way to turn around a bluesy weekend. So thank YOU, Master of nilla…Master of my heart.