There wasn’t gonna be a post today.
I shook my head and went about my business. It was a busy day, and so fucking gorgeous here that it made me want to cry from the pleasure of it. 60. Cloudless blue skies, flowers blooming their hearts out (too early for the big guns, but the crocus and snowdrops are just amazing this year), the scent of the earth in my nostrils…open windows through the house, clearing out the musty scent of winter.
But there’s this thing.
See, a lot of my angst this weekend? It was about being significantly underappreciated by my family.
One might say…taken advantage of.
And I was so. fucking. tired.
And I kinda let the Viking out, and snapped. I didn’t lose my total cool, and that likely left the biggest impression. I have such a terrible temper–it’s taken me 50 years to harness it, and I didn’t let it out for the ride, just righteous indignation and bitter chilly words. Clear and concise.
“You have all taken advantage of me. Fuck. You.”
And off to bed.
Amazing that I could express so much anger in so few words.
And then I, being the emotional chit I am, cried myself to sleep.
So, that was the nugget of the text that I sent to Master in my fury, when HE’d been out of my contact, too. That no one appreciated me, even HIM and no one even ever said “thanks” to me.
(it turns out, by-the-by, that Master, who was exhausted by His week as well, had fallen asleep in His car in the parking lot of a store…and “napped” for 2 hours)
I’m getting texts. Phone calls. Guess what they all start and end with.
“Thank you, nilla.”
“Nice tits. Thank you.”
“Master, you can cut that out now, you Bastard.”
“Thank you for the acknowledgement.”
Well, it makes me laugh now. Makes Him laugh to make me giggle, and it’s gone onto ridiculousness now…which makes us *both* laugh.
And it made me realize tonight after talking to Him (and being showered in still more Thank You’s) that I owe all of YOU a giant thanks too. Yes, I’ll be catching up on those individual replies, but really–you all keep me going. You send happy thoughts, and kind words, private emails, and blog comments to encourage me, and help me feel much better.
Did you know that?
When you reach out and leave one of those comments, it’s like a hand on my shoulder sayin’ …”you’re okay, we’re okay”…helps when I’m down, and makes me smile when I’m up.
So to you all who write, and you all who read… Thank YOU. For being the reason I return here, fulfilled and happier and ready to get back to writing again.