Thank You.

There wasn’t gonna be a post today.


I shook my head and went about my business. It was a busy day, and so fucking gorgeous here that it made me want to cry from the pleasure of it. 60. Cloudless blue skies, flowers blooming their hearts out (too early for the big guns, but the crocus and snowdrops are just amazing this year), the scent of the earth in my nostrils…open windows through the house, clearing out the musty scent of winter.

But there’s this thing.

See, a lot of my angst this weekend? It was about being significantly underappreciated by my family.

One might say…taken advantage of.

And I was so. fucking. tired.

And I kinda let the Viking out, and snapped. I didn’t lose my total cool, and that likely left the biggest impression. I have such a terrible temper–it’s taken me 50 years to harness it, and I didn’t let it out for the ride, just righteous indignation and bitter chilly words. Clear and concise.

“You have all taken advantage of me. Fuck. You.”

And off to bed.

Amazing that I could express so much anger in so few words.

And then I, being the emotional chit I am, cried myself to sleep.

So, that was the nugget of the text that I sent to Master in my fury, when HE’d been out of my contact, too. That no one appreciated me, even HIM and no one even ever said “thanks” to me.

(it turns out, by-the-by, that Master, who was exhausted by His week as well, had fallen asleep in His car in the parking lot of a store…and “napped” for 2 hours)


I’m getting texts. Phone calls. Guess what they all start and end with.


“Thank you, nilla.”

“Nice tits. Thank you.”

“Master, you can cut that out now, you Bastard.”

“Thank you for the acknowledgement.”


Well, it makes me laugh now. Makes Him laugh to make me giggle, and it’s gone onto ridiculousness now…which makes us *both* laugh.

And it made me realize tonight after talking to Him (and being showered in still more Thank You’s) that I owe all of YOU a giant thanks too. Yes, I’ll be catching up on those individual replies, but really–you all keep me going. You send happy thoughts, and kind words, private emails, and blog comments to encourage me, and help  me feel much better.

Did you know that?

When you reach out and leave one of those comments, it’s like a hand on my shoulder sayin’ …”you’re okay, we’re okay”…helps when I’m down, and makes me smile when I’m up.

So to you all who write, and you all who read… Thank YOU. For being the reason I return here, fulfilled and happier and ready to get back to writing again.



About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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19 Responses to Thank You.

  1. I can only speak for myself, Nilla, but it is my pleasure to do that for you. You are welcome.

  2. Mmnmom says:

    You are welcome and Thank You for the great entertaining stories and posts you write. It takes a lot of inner strength to air the personal things you do in this blog. Major Voyeurism for us readers! Everyone needs to be thanked for what they contribute but we would like them spread out over time not ganged up on us all at once ;-P ! Great job nilla *applause*

    • vanillamom says:

      Hi Mmnmom…thank you for delurking and commenting! I’m glad that you’ve enjoyed the peek behind the curtain as well as the fantasy stuff. *bows, blushing*


  3. Thank YOU Nilla for making me smile, horny and at times cry. You are extremely appreciated from this sub!

  4. sirqsmlb says:

    Thanks for journeying with me…for letting me be a part of your conversation and being a part of mine.

    I so appreciate the amazing erotic stories that get my engine primed. Thanks for your real life snippets that you share that let us relate to you and give us insight and perspective.


    Btw I totally know you had to post something because not writing was making you twitchy. Resting is such hard work!!

    • vanillamom says:

      You are so right! I was feeling twitchy…but my mind is not calm enough yet for the length of a full-on story. Tho…I’m getting there. Right now just a bit overwhelmed with life. 🙂

      Thanks for being part of *my* journey…I’m very much enjoying the broadening horizons this blog has expanded for me.



  5. sofia says:

    Thank YOU ‘nilla!! Your posts about your life, and your erotica bring great joy to many, and we appreciate you more than words can tell.


    • vanillamom says:

      thanks sofia…i very much appreciate the thought of this. That I spread a little joy (and, okay, a bit of lusty feelings) makes me very happy.


  6. April says:

    Nilla, I think the others have put it perfectly and I shall second all of their thoughts.
    You helped me realize I am not a horrible dirty person. I love your stories , both personal and not. Thank you for being Nilla and taking the time to share it with me/us/the public. 🙂

    • vanillamom says:

      Thank you April…it…it’s not a mission per se…but important to me that people like you…who find me however…and read here…

      Well…that you know that you’re not “damaged” somehow for having these thoughts and feelings. It’s all part of the human experience…one that gets short shrift by the politically correct–but if you feel it…it’s real, right?

      So we get turned on by this stuff…For me? it was like finding out who I was for the first time. I hope your journey continues to make you feel more “whole” and less “freaky” (tho…freaky isn’t bad, you know. 🙂 -)


  7. ytysreloaded says:

    Your posts, energy and comments always fill my day. So yes thank you for everything you do. There is a quote floating around that says “You accept the love you think you deserve” It goes for appreciation and respect too I believe.


    • vanillamom says:

      Thanks andi!

      I’m in a much better place in my head…and so glad that what I do here speaks to you. Thank you for always listening…and being a friend.


  8. Wordwytch says:

    Hugs! Love! Appreciation!!! BTDT with my family too, and it wears you out. Lots and lots of love to you!

    Oh, and glad that your Master made you laugh.

  9. faithful says:

    Thank you for making me smile and for all the “good” whammies you continue to send mine and Master’s way!


    • vanillamom says:

      Yay…still sending whammies, btw. You pop into my head at the oddest times…so I send when I “feel”.. 🙂


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