Cranky

It’s Tuesday as I write and…I’m feeling listless and moody. Part of it is my ankle–there is not much pain, and it’s not “bothering” me per se–but my body is definitely feeling it-back is kinda knotty and I’m so frigging tired all the time. That is really annoying!

I’ve had to give up some things for this summer and I haven’t seen Master in 2 weeks, and I’m just…cranky.

I’m not feeling sexy, like–at all. I fell and broke my ankle not my pussy. But not feeling the horny that is part of nilla normal.

And this is so much self-pity whining that I feel like just dumping this entire post-but I already dumped the first 300 words…hard to imagine that they were worse than this but they were.

If I was in agony? I could understand better or be kinder to myself. But I’m not in agony. I’m in a boot. I can walk. I can work. I can do most of what needs doing.

O.

M.

G.

It’s my perfection streak isn’t it?

Rearing it’s ugly little head–nilla can’t do everything she *wants* to do so it must be time to whine.

Oh shit I hope it’s not that. That’s so fucking shallow.

Some of my mood is–this maybe sounds weird, maybe–but a mini-grief? I have to give up my garden for the summer (my veggie plot) since it’s located in the middle of a field and the terrain is uneven, with lots of typical New England rocky soil. Perfect for re-breaking an ankle, which I wouldn’t be pleased about. So I let it go. *sad sigh* And my seedling tomato’s are coming along so nicely, too.

I was supposed to go to the BIG city, New York City, next month with a group–and now I can’t. We’re only there Sat/Sun–and there is NO way I can keep up walking for 11 hours with a group of vibrant teenagers.

Definitely learning my limits, but sad all the same. It kinda sucks that doing the right thing hurts–even more than the broken bone does.

I need time with Master—somehow He makes everything right again. A good beating, some wall time, orgasm overload–all the good stuff. Unfortunately, wearing stiletto’s isn’t in my immediate future, either, maybe not even when we have our scheduled play time in early June. I may still be needing to wear my incredibly ugly but definitely necessary black boot.

Enough whining! Seriously. This is depressing shit, isn’t it? Definitely not normal nilla. *sigh*

bootI’m too sexah for my boot? um. no. my boot suits my mood. I feel like a Sith warrior. blerg.

072212144521Although, truth to tell, it’s apparent that I’m not doing much walking in these stiletto’s….

(searching for this pic cheered me up. Let’s try that again!)

cropped-cropped-img00042-20110501-164611.jpg

And of course, my very first pair of shoes…unique, black n white, sexy. I always feel so sexy in these…

Okay, I’m feeling better. Nothing better than a bit of “shoe therapy” to help cheer a slut up!

Oh, and I was out at Michael’s last night, looking for some jewelry findings, and what did I spy? This:

cotoIt’s a pendant. I came “that” close to getting it, too. Didn’t coz I was trying to get home, and I wasn’t sure where I’d ever wear such a thing, but I did drool over it a little bit.

Well, I wasn’t sure that sitting here and moping about my little issues would make me feel better, but apparently it has. 🙂 Thanks for reading this far, if you have. I’m sure I’ll be ready to write more tomorrow. As for now? I need to go take a nap. Whining takes a lot of energy out of a gal.