HNT…Chained to Him

Remember I was grumpy and whiny? Done and over once the tummy bug hit. Remember the update saying why I was grumpy and that things were better?

Good.

That means you’re all up to date. 🙂 I’m good. I’m almost 100 per cent good. Like..98%.

It’s that little 2% that is in my thoughts, the 2% that Master is holding in his hands.

My Orgasm.

See, I’m supposed to write an “Orgasm Report” after every O. And I’ve been amazingly diligent, sending them faithfully.

And He never…okay, perhaps not never, but rarely, responds. So…eventually I figure, hell, He’s not reading these fucking things. But I kept writing them because as a Dom AND as my Master?

He’s pretty fucking sneaky.

I may forget a lot of things, but I’ve never consciously underestimated Him. He is WAY smarter than I am, WAY better at this whole D/s dynamic, WAY better at “getting” me than I get me.

So I plug along, writing the reports. Some are dry, a recitation of the mechanics. What toys, the feelings, etc. Some – well – even for *me* it’s embarrassing to let my deepest fantasies out to Him.  But once in a while I’ll post that to Him.

But this morning (Wednesday) I forgot. I was feeling pretty blucky when I first crawled out of bed. This stupid virus thing isn’t about heaving, but just a queasy belly, and headache and dizzy, and just feeling blerg.

So I forgot to sit down and write my o report, which is a shame because it was a pretty fucking awesome orgasm. No squirty (this seems to be the new female orgasm achievement, Jz mentions it here in her hysterical post, and you really should go read it…) but it was one of those whole-body pulsing rip-roaring orgasms that sent me right to sleep afterwards, with a big-assed smile on my face.

Until, you know, the whole wake-up-in-the-wee-hours-of-the-morning thing.

So dammit, I forgot.

It’s a valid excuse.

Note the word choice there. Excuse. It’s not really a reason. There is no reason why I couldn’t write the email. I commented on blogs, I wrote on facebook, I even wrote my mini update.

But I didn’t write that fucking email.

And tonight I spoke to Him. I asked Him if I could have an O, since tomorrow is the ever-dreaded ZNN.

“I don’t believe there was an O-Report in my “in” box today.” He says.

“I had no idea You read those, Master.”

“I couldn’t read it. It wasn’t here.”

*silence*

“I wasn’t feeling very good this morning, Master.”

“And I’m sorry you were unwell. But there is no O report in my in box. So no, you may not have an orgasm tonight. I sit here, and know eventually you will fuck up, nilla. You’ll get lazy or bored or something…and you’ll find out that I’m still sitting here and watching you.”

Now, doesn’t that make my little submissive heart go pitter-patter? I mean, my gawd…He’s watching. He’s paying attention. Even when I think maaaybe He’s forgotten He owns a needy slut. I got goosebumps when He said it.

And dammit, I really wanted that O.

But I really want Him and His approval, and to please Him, more than my own selfish pussy.

Here are the two pix I sent Him last night before and after the wonderous O…they are NOT an O report, but a …um…well…you know.

A tease.

🙂

First, the offering:

4U

and then the afterwards…chain

They won’t “buy back” my missing O…but I’m sure He’s got it filed away somewhere under “nilla fuck-up number XYZ”.

That’s okay.

He’s watching. He’s spinning His web. He’s holding me, binding me, in these invisible chains.  I’m good with this. Because it means that I’m His, that even when I don’t see or feel the clamps or the weight of the chains…they’re still there.  And every once in a while He’ll pull them tight, and remind me of their presence.

18 thoughts on “HNT…Chained to Him

  1. You know, they do that. Sit back and wait like a spider in a web. There are times I think they take a special class in it in Marine Basic. I’ll blithely float along for months, and never think about something I should be doing… and then Wham! (where the fuck did that come from???) and then he smiles and says…”Don’t you remember?” Which makes me shudder just writing about.

    Love you!

  2. I would love to get my hands on the Master’s manual they must all read. Same thing happens here, just when I am convinced my daily reports and just something to keep me busy, He has not interest..and I skip one…BANG..I am reminded….but that is part of what we love about them.
    hugs abby

    1. it’s a manual or the Dom Times or something…how is it that they are so *alike* in this, I wonder?

      nilla

  3. Just as I always thought, they DO read the same darn book!
    Sir pulled on of those little “moments” on me recently and whew.. I was remarkably ashamed of myself.
    Sometimes I just forget even the most basic of things!

    Glad to hear you’re almost totally well~

    1. Hi nancy…yeah…it’s terrible when we have a major faux pax and it makes us feel stupid, right? sigh. well, it’s a process, to be sure!

      nilla

  4. Master rick doesn’t enforce his rules unless were in a scene. Master J likes O reports too. That’s why I post them on the blog. Its why I was given a blog, to share my orgasms with the world. Mistress E likes those too. IV yet to forget one so idk if or what would happen if I did.

    1. you’re welcome Tip. I always look for your comments on Thursday evening, too! Enjoy camp! (hello, blackflies…!)

      nilla

  5. My Thursday being a nine to none that got pushed to 10 was much improved by your post, always look forward to them!

  6. Nilla, the more I read about you and your Master, the more fascinated I am.
    Having to write an O report. That is interesting. Huh. I’ve never heard of that before. It sounds like it would be difficult at times. And He reads them. I think I’d be embarrassed.
    On that same note, it seems like it would be a ‘mental workout.’ Describing what you did, how it felt what toys (if any) were used, would it include what fantasies or porn clips you used, etc.
    Super fascinating.
    Rose

    1. 🙂

      He’s required that for a long time–and sometimes? it is still embarrassing to tell him the kinds of things that go through my head. But it’s how He learns me. And my weird desires. And I’ve told him that what I fantasize about doesn’t have to become real…but I think he takes away the emotions that get me there (fear, primarily)…but who knows. He is a very smart “people” man…He “groks” much of nilla. 🙂

      nilla

  7. thank you for that … as your previous commentators said, damn it, they remember!!! they notice, even when you think they don’t…. can’t hide from them, not that you want to, right… but wow it’s amazing when they properly remind you that you couldn’t even if you did want to hide… love the spider web analogy and the pics too. thank you.

    1. Hi katherine/tiggersub…(not sure which you prefer!)

      Thanks for commenting.

      And yes. They have that “Dom sense” like a 7th sense. Not that he’s always waiting to “Pounce” per se, on every error, but he’s always watching. 🙂

      nilla

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