Really?

So, I am sad to say this is another week with no fiction. I’m sorry, coz I know I left you hanging on two stories, my gosh. I had every intention of writing today (Thursday)…but you know what they say about the best laid plans, right?

It was supposed to rain here today. It had been forecast for a lovely morning with quickly deteriorating conditions. So rather than write, I decided to run my errands…always so much easier doing that, hauling kids, when it’s dry. So we did, and got home to find the contractor here and working (yay) and then I had to bake for the hungry little critters…and then and then and then…

Today was just one of those rare days when every time I looked at the clock another two hours had slipped past. It was crazy fun busy, I did several small organizing tasks that I was desperate to get to…and did. The house and children rather sucked me in and then it was time to go to work, and …here it is at 1015 at night and I’m wondering how a normal day can just pass by that quickly?

Tomorrow has an early start to it, and will continue the hurried pace as I go to work earlier than normal as well.

And it’s begun to rain…they are alleging that we’ll get three to five inches of rain Friday into Saturday. That is as much rain as we got from Hurricane Sandy! Sometimes when it rains that hard, my internet service goes down, so if you don’t hear from me, fret not, it’s likely the wet and internet mixing it up.

I got off the phone a bit ago from talking with Master. He does like to annoy me. He does it to get under my skin. It’s His way to shake, rattle and roll me up. Grrr! Currently He is tormenting me about Sunday. He won’t answer ANY questions. He just won’t. Red stiletto’s Master? or the Black n White pair?

I’m thinking sneaks, He says.

*eyeroll*

Where are we meeting Master?

I can’t make it. I have yardwork.

*eyeroll*

Master, can I have an O?

No fucking way. Look up S in a dictionary. Sl…Slu…

yes, Master…I see “slut”…and there’s my picture, I get it. But…?

But? But what?

If I’m not having orgasms am I *really* a slut?

He laughs. Loudly.

OH nilla, you are one fucking slut.

(thinks to self…definitely “not” fucking… but wisely refrains from saying it aloud!)

Masterrrr…won’t you tell me ANYTHING about Sunday?

It comes before Monday.

****************************

REally. I have to put up with this shit all the time. πŸ™‚ He makes me crazy. I’m a planner. I guess it gets annoying to one who isn’t a planner. It’s His life lesson to me, to slow down and just go with HIS flow…

who knew, a submissive is supposed to go along with their Dom?

huh.

πŸ™‚

My issue here is that I’ve spent weeks and weeks being the Mom. Getting kids hither and yon, always knowing who needs to be where, and when. Planning is just part of my day-to-day dynamic.

Except for when it comes to Master.

I am NOT his Mommy. I am NOT in charge in this relationship. Just as I would when the doors close behind us? I need to let go, and let Him run the show.

He always manages to remind me very adroitly which of us is in charge…and it isn’t me. He does it with little conversations like the one above, tying me up in knots and not letting me know one thing that He doesn’t want me to. Reminding me, very subtly, that I don’t need to plan this. . . that He will tell me in His own time and space where and when.

REally…I still have lessons to learn…despite all our time together.

But….. I still wish I knew which shoes!

πŸ™‚

 

 

About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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23 Responses to Really?

  1. sirqsmlb says:

    Oh, it is SOOOO hard to switch roles…switch lives…switch modes. But I have to say, after being dragged by my hair (or nipples) into my submissive place…it feels so good to let go, doesn’t it?

    Can’t wait to hear about Sunday….HAVE FUN!!!!!!

    hugs,
    fiona

    BTW, we’ll be impatiently here waiting for some fiction to fuel our fantasies!!

    • vanillamom says:

      It will feel awesome to just “let go”.
      A brief story….
      I hold 99% of my tension in my back, usually my lower back. I start to get twinges between my shoulder blades, then my lower back gets tweeky and I start to fret. What if I hurt my back before we meet…and he can’t touch me…?

      We meet…He whallops me, tickles my feet, whacks me some more…

      The next day, I’m sore as blazes…all achy and bruised and hurty…but my back?

      Fine.

      Not a twinge.

      It’s a cure, I tell you.

      πŸ™‚

      nilla
      Ps…still don’t know which shoes! And I got some fiction written today (check out nillaswirled.wordpress.com for a flash fiction, and the blog here tomorrow for something dispicible. !

  2. Kayla Lords says:

    You sound as sassy as I am…wear the sneaks…and then remind him that he’s the one who said it…just kidding! I’m not THAT sassy!

    I told my Daddy last night that when I submit, it’s the only time that all the noise in my head finally silences…it’s peaceful…for that time period, I don’t have to think, I don’t have to decide, I don’t have to plan (I’m a planner, too), and I don’t have to be in charge…of course, sometimes, I to be reminded, too…so I guess my point is – you’re not alone. πŸ™‚

    I can’t wait to find out what shoes you’re wearing! πŸ˜‰

    • vanillamom says:

      I am definitely sassy…or as He says, I push the envelope. I’ve already promised to smack him for something he said last night, and to bite his little man nipples. πŸ™‚ We’ll see how *that* goes. *laughs*

      I don’t know which shoes He’ll pick. I’m kinda hoping for the red ones, but the black n whites are special as they are the first pair he ever bought me. I’ll let you know as soon as I can type again… πŸ™‚

      nilla

  3. abby says:

    A place where we can leave all the noise, all the business…and the other ‘roles’, behind,,,and just be …and let someone else lead us….we are lucking to have that! Now shoes, there is a serious decision…hmm…can’t wait to hear all about it.
    hugs abby

    • vanillamom says:

      thanks abby…I love the letting go …once I actually do it. I’m so in charge in real life…and I’m okay with that most times…but with Him? He reminds me to NEVER forget that He’s in charge…even when it doesn’t seem like He is holding my (invisible) leash…He is…and He has no problem pulling it taut… πŸ™‚

      nilla

  4. Can you wear one of each? The heels, I mean. πŸ˜‰
    I like them!
    Cannot wait to hear about your day!
    Rose

    • vanillamom says:

      well, it wouldn’t be the first time (see photo in the header!) but for fuckwear? One or the other, to be sure, as there is a heel height difference. The red ones are 6″ heels, the b&w are 5 or 5.5.

      I’ll give you the update as I come back to reality!

      nilla

  5. dryfly2005 says:

    Black and white one’s are my pick, with a bit of a low cut classy dress, yea you would look good in that, on your way to the hotel room, with your bag of toy’s. That’s my vote. Tip

    • vanillamom says:

      I’m thinking the black and white pair, with my low-cut lingerie “dress”, black lace, actually, wiht a little ruffle that just barely covers the butt.. πŸ™‚ It’ s the underwear I can’t decide upon…the ones with the lace up back? or the ones with the pearl string for a “crotch”…hmmmm decisions, decisions…

      nilla πŸ™‚

  6. Wordwytch says:

    You need a pair of bright red sneakers with sequins. πŸ™‚

    Hope you have a Lovely day with your Master, and as always, we will look forward to hearing as much as he’ll let you share.

    As for not having time to write… Have you looked at my blog? Seen how much Sheeple has been posted? Drove 8 hours today. I’m brain dead. Sheeple!

    • vanillamom says:

      thanks heartsister….

      tons of driving…ugh! I’ve not done much reading…between the kids, my jobs, construction workers at the house, and trying to get caught up on a weeks worth of chores from when I was sick last week? I’m finally catching up but …then there’s this little time I’ll be away from my computer while at work…and…yeah…there’s something else…um… (laughing)…

      I wonder how long it will take before I am able to type coherently? After 12 + weeks of no playtime? Ha!
      (fingers? what are fingers? a computer? do I brush my teeth with that? huh? )

      nilla,
      hysterical…

      • Wordwytch says:

        LOL…. I’m so tired, and yet I can’t get to sleep. And it’s only 7:40!

      • vanillamom says:

        Ah, see, it’s almost 10 here, so I am going to bed. So should you. πŸ™‚

        nilla

      • Wordwytch says:

        Yeah, Wolf is already in bed. LONG day yesterday and today, with very little sleep. I just haven’t wound down enough to sleep.

      • vanillamom says:

        Hope you finally got some rest. I fell FAST asleep, which (witch?) was great. I needed it. Up early and in bed late do not make for a nice work day for nilla who’s Saturday’s have taken to being 12 hours long.

        nilla

      • Wordwytch says:

        We did. Slept till 8:45am. Then it was off to do yard work at my Dad’s. Exhausting.

        Once we had enough energy to stand, I made pizza. πŸ™‚

  7. slave ali says:

    So yesterday I was minding my own business laying in bed with Bruiser, reading the post when master strolled in. He was intending on waking me up but I shocked him and was already up so he asked what I was doing and began flogging me. The more he flogged the harder it became to read. Until I could no longer read anymore.

    It would kill me, knowing nothing about Sunday if I were in your shoes. Can’t wait to hear about it.

    • vanillamom says:

      πŸ™‚

      It is so hard to just “wait”. I am NOT the most patient of sluts, after all.

      And I’m so horny/needy/craving Him its insane. πŸ™‚

      nilla

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