Feeling….

…hot (but you all know that already–nilla HATES the heat)

…needy. I’ve not had Master time in several weeks and I’m grappling with my intense neediness. Hopefully we’ll get a wee bit of time this weekend after work one of the two days I work. It wont’ be much but honey? It’s so much better than the nuthin’, right?

…frenetic. I hate when things are so busy I can barely take time to sit and write. I’ve had a bunch of stories flit through my head, but I’ve actually fallen asleep (despite the heat) pretty quickly these last, busy, days.

…stressed. I think part of that goes back to not seeing Master. Isn’t it amazing how just spending a bit of time with our Dominant One centers and calms the mind? The heat makes it hard for me to think, and my job is very physical, so I’m so drained when I get home—but still so stressed. I know you all have those same stressors…family, kids, house, car (oy vey). That’s not a complaint–it’s just — life.

You know what I’m not feeling (and this is part of my stress, believe it or not!)? I’m not feeling horny. Like at all. I *know* in my head that it’s just the cycle, that my body can’t process any more heat. But for a slut who is normally always turned on? It’s a disturbing turn of events.

I’m thinking of you all–and hoping we’ll have more days together the summer closes. I’m not a fan of heat (gee have I said that enough??) BUT…in August, football returns–see? there’s always a silver lining.

Until then?

I’ll continue to be here sporadically. Working to keep up with comments you’ve all been kind enough to leave me. I love when you all do that. It’s like having conversations with friends.

As I was falling asleep last night, I did have a tentacle dream. Maybe my sexy isn’t totally gone….

πŸ™‚

 

About vanillamom

For 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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20 Responses to Feeling….

  1. Jz says:

    I’m pretty fed up with life, the universe, and everything myself right about thru here, myself.
    I feel your pain… (and heat – ugh)

    • vanillamom says:

      it was definitely one of “those” days yesterday…today I feel better…maybe it was getting my outside chores done so I don’t feel like a squatter at an abandononed property? πŸ™‚ whatever, today I am feeling better. Hope you are soon, too.

      nilla

  2. abby says:

    UGH ..I so agree, this heat is draining me of everything. Hope you get that Master time this weekend….should be both cooler by then….and a little hotter??
    hugs abby

    • vanillamom says:

      nodding…yeah…the GOOD kind of hawt! πŸ™‚

      It is supposed to break tomorrow, thank goodness….

      nilla

  3. Fondles says:

    Yeah im not a fan of heat neither!

  4. Kayla Lords says:

    Other than the heat (even though I’m in FL, I’m used to the heat and live in arctic air conditioned rooms), I can understand…((hugs)) Hopefully you’ll get some time with your Master, things will slow down, and the horniness will return soon… πŸ™‚

    • vanillamom says:

      Xing my fingers that we’ll get a bit of time –just talking and texting isn’t the best…and it’s been 3 weeks since we last had face time. 😦

      Not many homes up here have a/c…we so rarely need it…a 7 day heat wave is unusual…thank goodness. One of many reasons I could never live in Florida! Too fucking hot!

      nilla

      • Kayla Lords says:

        I survive it by never going outside…lol…actually, the AC really does make a difference…and living near water. It gets hot, but its manageable… πŸ™‚ And I feel the same about cold…I actually cry if I get too cold…strange but true…

      • vanillamom says:

        well…I’d cry coz of the heat but…all my water is tied up in sweat, so there ya go.

        *laughing*

        nilla

  5. nancy says:

    Hang in there.. the heat WILL end .. one of these days. or weeks…
    And you’ll feel better with any bit of Master Time you can manage! Until then, you should be reassured that having some tentacle dream must mean your drive has not vanished for long!

    • vanillamom says:

      hey nancy…

      well, i work in A/c all day saturday (so cold I have to wear a sweater…) …but the heat is due to break Saturday night..thank goodness. I’m almost getting used to it…and it’s said that it’s not supposed to get this hot again for the next few weeks. thank the goddess.

      and yeah…tentacle dreaming…so bad of me…

      and so good too.

      nilla

  6. SouthernSir says:

    Hang in there nilla, it will come full circle soon enough. ((HUGS))

    • vanillamom says:

      thanks S. Sir…am loosing my cranky…isn’t tha tnice…? thanks for the hugs…much much appreciated.

      nilla
      getting back in the groove

  7. dryfly2005 says:

    Tentacle dreaming, and a swim in farm pond near you, or here in northern Maine. You really need to look at Sapio Slut on July 13th posting, there is one picture that should get your attention. Tip

    • vanillamom says:

      πŸ™‚

      I was thinking with longing of that farm pond today. πŸ™‚ I think …gosh it might almost be time for….camp…. πŸ™‚

      nilla

    • vanillamom says:

      oh…mah..gawd…

      or should I say

      moooo….

      coz yanno…it wouldn’t take *that* much I think, to get me goin…..I can’t wait to dream tonight..!

      Wow Tip…always looking out for nilla…thanks Sir!

      πŸ™‚

      nilla

  8. Wordwytch says:

    It’s hot here too. Wolf has decreed that 10pm is now bedtime… gulp. Cranky Wolf’s and sleep Wytch’s need naps! Hopefully it will cool off before bed.

    • vanillamom says:

      oh…isnt’ that like in 55 minutes? write fast! πŸ™‚

      I run a fan that reverses…during the heat of the day I blow it OUT of the room…after sunset, reverse it and blow it into the room. Made my bedroom super cool last night (as opposed to the easybake oven it is during the day, all things being relative!)

      n

      • Wordwytch says:

        45 minutes. His statement was when I started to fuss…” Let me explain. Bedtime is at 10pm… if you ever want sex again, you will go to sleep on time. This is a health and safety issue.” I gulped and said “Okay!”

        I’ve been on the computer in the mornings and evenings. During the day I’m doing other things as it is too hot.

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