Is that not a funny title for a sex blog?

I know, and it won’t even be followed by a rabid tale of wild sexy naughty stuff. Because, unlike fiction, this is real life. And most of us have those ups and downs in our relationships, sometimes filled with raw and raging urges, sometimes filled with annoyances and grievances, and sometimes…just needing or giving or getting…cuddled.

Such was the case when Master and nilla *finally* hooked up this weekend just past. I had an extraordinarily crazy week, and the weekend was booked solid, every minute from 7 a.m. until nearly midnight. I think I’m going to earn a reward once this teen is done with high school and gets into college. The fun continued on the next day and…

though it is hard to believe?

I was grumpy as hell.

Desperately tired.

Fighting either allergies or a cold (or some bizarre reaction to my flu shot several weeks ago…I’ve not been 100% since two days after that…*shrugs* who knows, right?). I’ve been needing Master time and it didn’t work out that we’d get the large block of time we’d originally thought we’d manage on Saturday.

And then Sunday I miscalculated on timing and thought we’d only have an hour. So I sent a …terse-ish? text saying “why bother, it’s only an hour, forget it”…

to which He calmly replied

“which location works best for you? A or B?”

And yanno, I cried.

Yeah. Silly emo slut, sitting there holding my phone and crying and feeling silly happy. He loves me and cares and knew I needed Him.

Knew I needed some one on one time to just breathe. I didn’t need a spanking–okay, you’re right, I always want/need a spanking–but it wasn’t what I felt just then.

I slid into the booth next to Him and laid my head on His shoulder and just breathed in His scent. I felt healed. I felt whole. I felt…like I could just stay there forever…but also fortified to finish all my other obligations.

Being there, His hand subtly tangled in my hair, and tugging my head down low on His chest, it looked for all the world as if He was just comforting me, while my scalp throbbed, as my hair clung to His fingers, every bit as wanton for His touch as the rest of me. His words cheered me, talking of innocuous things in His life, offering advice for an ongoing issue in my life. Then there was the tender and painful way He held my hand, squeezing my fingers until they were white–yet giving two-fold comfort. (is there anything more soothing than hand-holding–especially coupled with pain?) Later, He walked me to my car, pinching me as I went.  Once I was settled in my car He added tickles and kisses. And one wicked pinch as I attempted to fasten my seat belt. He’s the very devil with pinches! (and I adore it!)

He can stop my bullshit with a look, a word, and heal my mood with one touch of His hand.

Thank you Master. You may never know how very much You helped me. But as You say….You are fucking brilliant at this shit. 🙂


I tend to call Him on my way home from work. We don’t connect every evening, but many of them. He’s started doing this little thing, where I say I need to hang up-I am turning onto my home street or at the place I need to be …and He says ‘no’.

It’s subtle, but Dominant, you know?

It always makes me jolt a bit…Oh. I can’t hang up yet. He said no. Mind you, He never does it in a way where I am in danger…inconvenienced? Sure. Danger of being caught talking to Him by my family or harmed? No.

Last night I stopped at the store to pick up milk. One of those little convenience stores that dot the landscape here…and one just a few houses away from my home.

I tell Him I need to go, that I’m at the store. I carry the conversation to the door, and start to enter.

“Don’t you go in.”

It was very firm, very quietly said. One of those “oh my” experiences that draws me back and reminds me of my place in our dynamic.

“Yessir,” I murmur, sliding back from the door and into the little break-wind wall, where a partition keeps the door from blowing open on windy days.

And I wait.

My heart thumps hard in my chest. And I think..this. This feeling right here. This is what makes us …U/us. This is what makes me whole. This is what tickles my pussy though He is 40 plus miles away…

His voice comes through the phone. It’s amused…like He knows exactly what He has done to me.

“Let’s recite the alphabet,” He says.

And for a moment of panicked thought…how does it start? What’s the alphabet? He begins.


I stutter, clear my throat. He remains silent but I feel the expectation in the silence.

“B?” I say.


“D” I reply.

“What was that?” His voice is cool, as if I missed something. Oh OH! D…..!

“CAPITAL D!” I giggle into the phone.

“Good slut. And don’t you forget it.”

Nothing is quite like that feeling. Pleased, happy in some silly way that I’ve pleased Him. And totally unaware of my being pressed against this lucite panel, cold wind swirling around my ankles, not heading inside the warm store.


“F!” (I’m getting good at this!)

There’s a pause…but in a moment He says “G”… and my pussy just lurches…He is totally in control, totally enjoying Himself.

“H…” I’m starting to become very turned on now, feeling my cunt leaking. (Hell, just writing this is turning me on!)


“Jayyy” I draw it out.


“L!” I say, triumphantly, as if quoting the alphabet is a major accomplishment. Frankly? At this point? It is. I’m mush. Putty. A wet, horny slut totally unaware of the why of this, totally aware that He’s controlling me very adroitly from afar.


I am opening my mouth to say the next letter.

“What kind of M is that, nilla?”

“DEFINITELY a capital M, Master.”

“Good slut. And we shall stop right there.”

“But…Master…the next is small n for nilla, and O, we can’t stop before O, Master!”

“Sure we can.”

He laughs, and that sends darts of lust straight into my belly.

“We got to the most important one, after all. And don’t you forget it.”

“No Master…I won’t!”

“Goodnight slut. Go get your milk now.”

I wonder if the girl behind the counter noticed that certain scent wafting from me, or noted my very erect nipples? She didn’t say, but she did smile as she cashed me out. I was smiling too. Tingling, feeling every inch His, feeling like a total wanton slut.

Feeling….cuddled….from 40 miles away.



About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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16 Responses to Cuddled

  1. Slave Ali says:

    That was a great read. I love cuddles. Everynight Master doesn’t work overnight I can have all the cuddles I want if I come to bed. If I don’t, its me and the dog cuddles. I’m bad at coming to bed lol. I’m a night owl.

    • vanillamom says:

      I don’t have that luxury, but I’m happy for you that you do. If I were you…I’d be in bed every night cuddling. 🙂


      • Slave Ali says:

        I’m cuddling now. Late night is my best time to clean, walk the dog, hobbies and other things. Its also the best time to do the blog. Iv been busy with it. Master had me set up my photo gallery and videos too, lots of videos. But for tonight he asked me to come to bed so I did.

  2. Wordwytch says:

    I love it. Love that you have each other.
    Reminds me of when Wolf and I would talk last year when he was so far away. He’d say “go to bed.” and even though I KNEW I couldn’t possibly go to sleep, I’d be sound asleep 10 seconds after I hit the pillow.

    • vanillamom says:

      nodding. I’ve said “tell me to go to bed…I can’t always do it alone.” I think most times I’m pretty capable but sometimes…its just nice to let go and let someone else nurture the nurturer… 🙂

      he gets that.

      and I really appreciate that he does.


  3. greengirliam says:

    It’s all the parts of a relationship that sustain us and he seems to excel all the parts. I’m so glad you are being sustained.

  4. SouthernSir says:

    Sometimes that need to be nurtured is just what is needed and good for him knowing when. It us all part of the while that makes it come full circle and be complete.

    • vanillamom says:

      nodding. He knows now, the little signs. A wee bit of snark, a bit of insecurity, a hint of depression…and he gets me. Nothing feels as good as that.


  5. abby says:

    Awww..I love this. Who knew reciting the alphabet could be so…..exciting? Sometimes, cuddles are just what we need…..lately for me it has been sitting in His lap.
    hugs abby

    • vanillamom says:

      Yeah…who knew there was a purpose behind something so ..innocuous? A quick reminder of which of us has that capital M… 🙂


  6. Amazing … Connections …

    But flu shots? Why? I’ve never had a flu shot and don’t intend to start having them. Never to my knowledge met anyone who gets flu shots. I don’t get flu these days (and even if I did, I rather have that than the shots), so why tell my body it needs some (very dubious) protection, thus discouraging it from making its own? Seriously, flu shots sound to me like Big Pharma dreaming up fake ways to make money. Certain sections of the world population are very much hooked on medications.

    Sorry this is so irrelevant to your very interesting post nilla, I just like ranting sometimes.

    • vanillamom says:

      I agree, actually, that we are very shot-oriented. I waffle on this every year. The one year I didn’t get a shot I wound up with not only the flu, but pneumonia as a result. I’m seriously thinking of NOT getting it next year just to compare how I feel. I work in a place where it is easy to pick up every bug/virus/illness that comes along, so I guess I hope for the best as far as protection goes. 🙂 No offense on your rant…I do it often. 🙂


      • Slave Ali says:

        I hate needles, haven’t gotten a flu shot since 16. Iv recently discussed shotless flu shots with master but to be honest I’m almost never sick with more than allergies and sinuses. Rants are fun sometimes.

  7. Wtf who in hell recite the alphabet outside a fucking store fucking wacko hmmm i wonder what customers were thinking as they were entering i know what i’d think nut case

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