Lulled into Vanilla…

…. or I was.

Had been.

Believing (since it’s been a long while since our last behind-the-doors playtime) that, with the exception of some public tweaking that the kink was kind of in limbo.

Not exactly retired, but certainly not at the forefront of our relationship.

We’re friends of an unequal sort.

He still calls me slut, cunt, whore…but I’ve been feeling a bit disattached (nilla has been having a bout with SAD, and it caught me unaware-I take an herbal remedy which helps “normalize” my moodiness). It’s hard, sometimes, this “moderate” LDR. I know many subs and Doms have way more miles between them than Master and I do. And we get to see each other at least every two weeks if not more often. I often feel bad for feeling so damn needy since I know there are those of you out there who haven’t seen your Dominants in a long while. Like I should stfu and just deal. We’re all used to what we’re used to in a relationship, though, and mine has been a bit more “back burner” than it used to be, and that is mostly *my* fault.

So I have been living in Vanillaland, pretty much. Craving more of Him, even more than the peppering of bruises He often leaves me with after a coffee date.

You read, a few days ago, about His birthday celebration, where He totally flummoxed me. And that was the beginning. He’s been teasing me almost non-stop. Little texts that have escalated the feelings of submission.

And that horrible little thing that turns me on, hot and fierce: fear.

Not as in “omg He’s going to maim me and kill me and throw what’s left in a dumpster” kind of fear, just so we clarify.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the pain. Coz let’s face it…it’s pain. I’m out of practice. I love it, crave it, am desiring of the flying that comes of it…but sometimes the pain scares me, too.

He sends me a picture of the new butt plug.

I swear it had a former life as an airplane brake or something! And He was correct…it is the exact color of our shared birthday cupcake, a bright and cheery red.

And it is big.

Did I say big? Oh, no no no…that’s so wrong.

This ….thing…is fucking HUGE. Compared to my “starter plugs” it’s a giant. Okay, it’s not like the King Kong Dong you can find at those online toy stores, but for me? E-fucking-normous.

Yes, I said E-fucking-normous.

I’m ooohing…and OMG-ing in responses to His texts, the picture He has sent of it on His porch railing (He is ever the one for setting the mood, you know?!) and His responses to *my* responses.

And then I get another text. Or an email. I forget–but —

Sadistic Bastard.

I forget, sometimes I just do. That’s not good, to forget that. It’s simple and basic and yet sometimes the vanilla stuff is just all we can manage.

“How are the kids?”

“Good. How are yours?”

You know, and the car breaking down, and the leaves needing raking, and our mutual obligations here and there and suddenly it’s all just…vanilla.

Except.

He’s a clever Bastard. He waits for just the right moment, when I’m lulled.

 Oh BTW, make sure you don’t ask me about the new vibrating inflatable ass plug. No you don’t want to know about that.

 

About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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18 Responses to Lulled into Vanilla…

  1. SouthernSir says:

    Oh how the most innocent of things can be turned around in a heartbeat.

  2. abby says:

    I have learned…when a sentence starts with BTW….watch out!
    hugs abby

    • vanillamom says:

      I think I knew that, too, but He SO caught me offguard! Clever Master, keeping me hot and turning me into a gooey puddle of slut. 🙂

      nilla

  3. Wordwytch says:

    Yes, they are clever bastards. (even though Wolf states that his parents married eventually) I think we all get into that rut where Vanilla is more the norm than Kink, and when the switch happens it always takes our breath away.

    And, so does the idea that we ‘smart, normal (choke!) rational beings would ever WANT spanking, etc…. Which just makes our day. :P:P:P

    • vanillamom says:

      want, crave, need, desire, neeeeeeed. yeah. I need a damn strong beating, and He is promising to deliver. Now if only nilla had free damn time!

      nilla

      • Wordwytch says:

        You need free time and while we need that, we also need to feel good enough to enjoy the whole shebang! This has been a weather achy Autumn. Ugh.

      • vanillamom says:

        yes. my bones ache all the time. and my allergies this year have been abysmal. I keep thinking they’ll be better (and since frost they kind of have been) but even my indoor allergies are being super annoying.)

      • Wordwytch says:

        I have to admit that I never thought that aspercreme would become my new hand lotion.

      • vanillamom says:

        i know that isn’t funny…and yet it kind of is…

        nilla
        (I’ve been knitting a lot to keep my fingers limber…)

  4. Fondles says:

    Its a lot vanilla here too. Talk about wall pain, bookcases, noodles for lunch, then a question about wearing my corset.

    Yummy.

    • vanillamom says:

      I had to laugh at your (apparent) Freudian slip there…wall pain…hahahaha! which I *assume* is wall paint-t. (tho you know I have more than a passing acquaintance with wall pain too!)

      It sure keeps things interesting, doesn’t it? And I love that HE can knock me off my pins now and again.

      nilla

  5. Kayla Lords says:

    Sadistic bastards are the best! 😉

  6. faithfulreader2 says:

    Maybe your Master will allow the pic of it on his porch posted? That I just HAVE to see!!
    *Please*!!!

    ~faithful

    • vanillamom says:

      I will ask Him, I promise! I’ll be away all day Saturday so you won’t get an answer right away…but I’ll do what I can!

      nilla

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