I came to Kink late in life, just prior to rolling into my 50th year. For all of us the journey seems the same…we have these fantasies, and we feel tremendous guilt about them.
What is wrong with us. I imagine it is much the same from the Top view, a feeling of guilt about *wanting* to hit, to own, to pervert someone.
And then in our perverted fashion, sneaking around on the internet in search of the very thing that is our deepest perversion–for me it was rape fantasy–. I discovered porn videos on the interwebs. OMG. Yes, I was that green. I really hadn’t given much thought to porn movies. I knew there were books, and there were all the different nudie magazines…but what I saw left damp puddles on my chair.
And the need grew more and more intense.
As did the guilt.
And then, somehow it happens. You find the magic key that unlocks the Kingdom of Kink. It spreads before you like a dark, gleaming world. Blogs. Stories. Fantasy play. REAL LIFE KINK.
And suddenly you belong. You may not be a full-on player now, or even a while from your discovery…but you feel a sense of “aaaah”… because it is truly terrifying to believe that one is alone in a sea of dark and dirty fantasy. There is a feeling of liberation, and perhaps blissful joy to know that there are people out there who enjoy the same (or harsher) fantasies that you, yourself, have been fantasizing about for…months? years? your whole life? That kind of joy is liberating. We’re okay. We’re just different from the vanilla mainstream, but we still have a place.
And oh, the kinks there are!
There are too many kinds to get into them all. Maybe even some that I’ve never heard of . It happens from time to time that I find some new-to-me thing while researching one of my sordid little tales…and it’s an “ahah” moment. Some things gross me out. Needle play. Ugh. Poop play. Nu-uh. Diapers. Yet, the one overwhelming “protocol” is to not be judgy of others. Those who like to be pissed upon, those who like to drink pee. Those who like multiple insertions, or pain, or humiliation…each to their own kink. It may not be *my* way, nor yours, but if it works for *them*…who the fuck cares, right?
But the one kink that is NOT a kink?
I am friendly with a former reader here who writes to me once a month about his fetish and fetish play. And it’s been fine to read about it until just recently, when he told me that “kids sometimes see me in my chastity device” and sitting on the potty.
I called him on it, (you know I would).
He did try to clarify that he’s a middle-aged guy and kids in their 20’s he calls ‘kids’ or ‘children’…okay, I get that. But then he makes an immediate reference to a preteen coming over to the place where his play happens.
(Be aware, I’m not saying *HE* is involving children, but someone in the kink scene he is playing in is. He is the submissive male.)
Sex play, even just the visual, is child abuse. There is no gray area here.
A pre-teen is a kid between 9 and 12.
Which makes this sort of “play” not play.
Which makes it child abuse.
It is sexual perversion to a level that is NOT acceptable. I have kids that age. Do I want to fantasize about them seeing some guy locked in a chastity device? Or sitting on a potty?
No. Fucking. Way.
If you have kids, you know they barge in on moms and dads in the bathroom all the fucking time.
But having them see a stranger? And not by accident, but by design?
If your kink involves children then you are a sick whack job and deserve harsh punishment. Yeah. That’s judgemental of me. Too fucking bad. (I have steam pouring out my ears as I write this. This topic makes me very Viking nilla mad.)
Here is the number one kink “rule”.
Kink is consensual.
Consensual between two (or more) ADULT partners, who agree to whatever their perversions are…or agree to give up control to one or more.
Children are not able to give that sort of consent.
Children are not–should not ever–be a part of a kink scene.
Children who are have been sexually assaulted, even if they have not been touched physically.
That is not “kink”.
That is abuse.