Answer #1

Will (from Erotic Writers) asked me what I thought about this article, and how would I respond to the young woman being verbally assaulted. She is a porn star, a young woman putting herself through college. Well read the article. It’s fabulous–and frightening.  This is my response to Belle.

Hi,

 Just read your piece on XOJane…

 I am not a sex worker, but a writer of erotica and porn. I have come to this late in life, and while my vanilla friends and family have no idea what I do “on the side”, I know how devastating it would be if they found out. It would certainly destroy my marriage, lose my custody of my kids to my spouse, and my home. Being outed would be — the end of my life as I know it.

 I am so sorry that you’ve been outed. What you do for a living is consumed in giant gulps by many strata’s of society. The bizarre responses appall me. I have watched porn, I know friends who have–in this day and age, I don’t think many people haven’t thought of it at the very least. And frankly? What happens in many “mainstream” movies skirts pretty close to the edge at times. 

 I am not sure why people are so negatively obsessed with sex. It’s normal! It’s beautiful. And while I wouldn’t sit and watch porn movies every day, I often find snippets of it inspiring as I sit to write and create my naughty tales of sex and submission and dominance. To denigrate those who create what is so eagerly (guiltily?) consumed is utter stupidity!  Being a porn star is not a heinous thing! I cannot understand how people can be so vitriolic in their responses to “who” you are. Seriously, who *cares* what you do to support yourself? If you’re good at it, and enjoy it? That’s all that matters, at least in my world. 

 I struggle with how utterly rabid people become behind the “invisibility cloak” of their computer. I can’t figure out how they can live with themselves for the cruel and frightening things that they spout out into peoples blogs, emails, and other more public forums. Why? I don’t know. I don’t get it, not one bit. 

 I hope you move forward in your life, fulfilling your dreams and showing those assholes what a strong, confident, intelligent woman can do. 

 Hold your head high, Belle. 

 nilla

 ps I am blogging my response to you and including a link to your story; hopefully some of my readers will take a moment to write to you as well.

So, pervie readers, I hope you will take a moment at some point and check the link to her story (it’s short), and maybe write her a brief note of support. It cannot be easy; I know I would be terrified to get death threats just coz I was in a porn movie.  Show Belle a little love, will you?

About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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6 Responses to Answer #1

  1. She was incredibly articulate and good for her for taking a stand, especially so young when most women cave under such pressure.

    • vanillamom says:

      thank you….this story is making its way through the internet as well as the Boston Globe, the NY Times etc. Brave young thing…I was never that confident at 18, and one wonders if it is the candor that a D/s relationship brings out in one.

      oh, if I’d discovered this earlier in life…

      nilla

  2. Thank you for sharing this Nilla, that article was very well written, very articulate. Your note to her was spot on.
    Rose

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