When I write, it is often from a sense of urgency. The emotion is tied to the writing of the piece, I know where I want to go emotionally…and often, scene-wise.
But for the last two months, I’ve struggled to find my ‘sex mojo’. Yup, being sick sure does fuck up the mojo. Add to that all the various chemicals that have been put into my body to try to make it well (I’m a firm believer that while antibiotics kill infections, it also fucks up stuff.) I’ve had stuff out of my system for 2 weeks, I’m healthy once more but …no mojo.
It was freaking me the fuck out.
How can I, horny slut that I am, NOT have sex desires?
How is it that I would not even fantasize while having orgasms. It was…mechanical. A process set to achieve the pleasure of attaining the orgasm.
It was fucking vanilla style.
Let’s face facts here, folks. I *am* a slut. I like sex. I love sex. The sounds of it…the slip and slide of flesh on flesh, the slap of skin on skin, the moans and groans.
I Love the smell of it, the earthy, salty tang of semen, the sweet but salty slickness of girl cum…I love it. The taste…yes.
Just sitting here and writing that made my mouth water.
Definitely sluttish. Slutty. Slut.
So….where the fuck is my slut mojo? Why isn’t every thing I see getting transmogrified into a sexy little story in my head? Why?
I have a kink in my kink?
Does one unkink the vanilla to release the kink?
What the fuck is the cure for this….miasma of wanting…but not feeling the whole sexyness of my slutty life?
I don’t know.
Talking to Master, I flirt, and coo…but…kinda not feeling it. We don’t do Dom and sub much on the phone. He teases, I giggle, we share vanilla stuff from our day-to-day.
But nothing really got me fired up and feeling my full-on slutty self.
And then today it happened.
I was vacuuming. Vacuuming is a very zen thing you know? You don’t need to focus all that much, ear buds are in and music pumping loudly over the sound of the machine…
and I started to fantasize.
It morphed into a cute little tale in my head, and I hope to have time on Friday to write it and get it out there to you. But I was SO FREAKING (that’s for you, Jz, an intentional non-swear!) PSYCHED to finally have one of those sexah mojo moments just happen, without being forced, or visualized or teased into being.
It was just there.
Mine for the taking.
Mine for the crafting.
Mine for the imagineering.
I’m so psyched!
The slut is back and she’s feelin’ baaaaad.
In a really, really good way.