Happy Blogoversary to me….!!!
On this date in 2009, in a gesture born of fury and emotional upheaval, I created this blog. I was lost in my head, craving something I didn’t know much about. But I knew it was an answer to a question I’d never before been brave enough to face.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Why? Why did I crave stories where rape or domination were the main factors? Being forced is a huge part of my kink, except back then …well pre-August 2009…I didn’t understand what a kink was.
Or a fetish.
I was woefully naive. (He would argue that I still am!)
But of this D/s and BDSM stuff? Clueless.
And then I found blogs. Where it happened for real. Where people got beaten and fucked and tied up and and and…
I can tell you that prior to August 2009 I would read some of the most wicked tales, and the seat below me would be wet with my juices. I felt …guilty. Aroused. Scared. Weird. And a sense of longing so intense it was nearly overwhelming.
There I was, middle aged housewife with two young kids and reading such perverse stuff.
I quit, you know.
Went a month, then two. Stopping myself from the perversion. My dreams went haywire. Until I couldn’t NOT look.
And I was hooked.
And Vanilla mom was born.
This is my first uber-short story. It felt wicked and naughty to write it, all 160 words of it (snicker). Stand up, girl was the first in a long long line of stories. Short and not all that interesting, it was a watershed moment for me. I’ve gotten better over the years. Not quite as … obsessed … as I was in the middle years, posting daily for nearly 2 years. Now I take a bit more time, but still…that rush when I hit “publish” just has no equivalent in my vanilla life.
So 5 years of blogging lays behind me, and who knows what lies ahead. But you know I’ll be here; I’ve learned my lesson about trying to keep this dark side hidden away–it’s just impossible.