It wasn’t an epic fail, but it was a fail nonetheless.
Well, she had told him, she comforted herself as she stood under the hot spray of her shower. But he’d have none of that “I can’t” talk, she reminded herself. Just kept putting his finger over her lips when she’d start saying it. So the fail was his as well. She nodded to herself. She couldn’t have an orgasm. And despite the beginnings of a connection with him, whatever this relationship was, it was already over. Because, hello, she was fucking broken!
She’d rolled off the bed, told him to go. They’d had a good time in her bed, time that had been enjoyable. She tried, tried to relax. Tried to feel the building bud of excitement. But she hadn’t cum, hadn’t helped him get off, just hadn’t.
Resting her forehead on the shower wall, hot water sluicing down her back, she remembered the feel of his hands sliding over her, the way his fingers cupped and kneaded her breasts, the arousal she began to feel.
Her head came up as tears threatened. She let them drown in the spray of water. It had died, that feeling, almost as soon as it began. She liked him touching her. She loved his mouth, the kisses that were as potent as a drug, the way his mouth had moved over her nipples, had buried itself between her thighs. It just …didn’t happen.
Maybe it was an epic fail.
She snapped off the shower, wrapped her hair in a towel, and her body in another. She’d get her sweats on and go order Chinese or something. She stopped in her bedroom. What was that smell? Hurrying to the kitchen, she wondered if she’d knocked a burner into the “on” position on her way through with Keegan. They’d been kiss-tangled at the time, bouncing off cabinets and her small kitchen set.
She stopped dead in the doorway.
“Hi. Have a nice shower?”
“Wha—what are you doing?”
“I don’t know about you, but I call it cooking.”
“Surely you didn’t think I was just going to walk out and not talk about what didn’t happen in there?” He pointed in the direction of the bedroom. “That’s not how this works, kitten.”
Her mouth opened and closed, but she had no words.
He pulled out a chair and pointed to it. She sat, looking pole-axed.
“So, we talked it through, but there weren’t any concrete resolutions. If she keeps on thinking she’s broken, and god help the asshole who put that thought into her head if I ever find him, she’s going to believe it so deeply that I’ll never be rid of it.”
“It seems she’s already bought into it–”
“Well, she has, but it is always said somewhat tentatively.”
“Don’t interrupt me son.”
Keegan snorted into his coffee cup. There was no one who knew more about sex in general, and D/s as a lifestyle than Jakob. He’d been in the scene almost his entire life; his mother had been a professional Dominitrix –and likely still was though she was going on 75. He’d only met her once but she’d made him very nervous, which no one else had ever done. But when his friend put that Old Geezer voice on? It never failed to make him laugh. Or listen. Damn him anyway!
“As I wuz sayin’…”
“Okay, geezer, I get it. I’m all ears.”
“That’s not what I heard…according to Miz Traylor.” Jakob paused to laugh. He really enjoyed getting under Keegan’s skin at times. Nothing would jostle him out of a mood faster. Miz Traylor loved to watch Keegan in a scene, and would tease him relentlessly afterward. She had no interest in bedding him, but she very much enjoyed making him squirm. A die-hard lesbian, nothing made Keegan blush as the things Miz T would say to him. A blushing Dom was nothing short of hysterical, Jakob thought.
“Geezuz, J….” and the tips of his ears pinkened.
“So, back to your little problem. Here’s what I think. I think you need to stop being such a baby with her. She is curious. I swatted her butt way back when she started here, and I know it got her going. Some submissives don’t always understand what’s happening to them. You’re going to be the one to help guide her. So I would suggest doing so carefully.”
“I think you should help. Since you are so sure of her ‘hidden needs’ and all. Besides–It will be fun.”
“Fun, huh? Fun getting my janitor all hot and bothered, so that you can walk in and fuck her, while I get to walk out with hard wood?”
He laughed at the look on Keegan’s face, then continued.
“But lucky for you, I don’t mind priming her. I like her–and you, though I’m not sure why since you’re so fucking ugly. But she’s wounded and I don’t mind having the chance to help heal that. And she has a really fine ass, too.”
He smiled as Keegan bristled.
“Well, she does, right? Let me know when and I’ll make sure that we have nothing else scheduled at that time. Monday’s are best you know. She’s here, you’re free, club is closed.”
They talked a bit more, until they’d decided on a course of action. Keegan left J’s office feeling much better than he had when he walked in.
He took her to dinner. Took the menu from her, and said “Let me.” To his amazement, she did. If she was bemused that they hadn’t spoken further of the sexual breakdown she’d had, he let her wallow in it for the nonce. He caught more than a few inquiring, curious glances from her, at dinner, and the following day. He’d only kissed her firmly at her apartment door, then with a smile, turned and walked away. She was thinking hard while she cleaned, her brows furrowed more than once when he would walk through the room where she was working.
She wondered what the fuck was going on.He was still interested. Still taking her out on dates. Dinner last night had been a bit strange, but she had kind of liked it too, the guy ordering for the little lady and all. But she was still feeling shy? Maybe not shy. Weird? Yeah. She was definitely feeling weird. Guys she knew from before would have been long gone by now. But Keegan kept taking her out. At work, he’d seek her out, fondling her tits when he could get her alone, or even sneaking up behind her while she was working and swat her on the ass. When she’d whirl with a squeal, he’d grab her up, tug her into another of those torrid kisses. She was puzzled. She was intrigued. She was very curious. Well, there was one person here who knew Keegan better than anyone. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on Jakob’s office door. Her eyes glanced at the “NO” plate. Wondering what, exactly “no” meant, she opened it at his very poorly timed “come”. If only.
“Ah, Mandy. How are things going?”
“I’m good, boss. Fine. Uhm… I was wondering what “no” meant on the door?”
He looked at her a moment, a faint half-smile on his face.
“Well, ah, that wasn’t why I came in here–I just kind of wondered is all. Never thought to ask before.”
“Ah. Well. It depends on why anyone is coming in here. If someone is looking to fuck in my private space, then NO. If a slut is here asking for permission to cum, then NO. If someone wants a special order? Maybe. But I thought NO was still a good answer and went with it. It stops a lot of bothersome nonsense, you see.”
Steepling his fingers, he gazed at her impassively.
“I’m supposing you aren’t here with bothersome nonsense, are you kitten?”
His voice had turned silky. Damned if that didn’t make her knees wobbly. He could be very “dangerous” in this mood. He teased her quite a bit, in a big brother sort of way. But sometimes he just let the Dominant side of him ride loose and free–and she didn’t quite know how to deal with that side of him yet.
“It makes me nervous when you do that,” she blurted.
“Do? Do what, kitten?”
“That!” she waved her hand at him. “That…dom stuff. You’re not my dom and I am not a submissive and … you still …I dunno….”
His smile grew sharper, and she supposed that this was the sort of things that got other girls going, that look on his face. It spoke of predators, and things that went bump in the night. And in here? It spoke of whips and chains and bondage and sex fantasies brought to life.
She cleared her throat.
“I…uh…wanted to ask about…Keegan. He…I…there was an issue….and…uh…”
She rolled her eyes, and blushed furiously.
“You are SO not making this easy.”
“Good things are rarely easy, girl.”
Taking a deep breath, she moved closer, daring to sit in one of those huge leather chairs.
“I can’t make him stop, you see. I can’t please him, I can’t…you know. I told you already. I’m broke–”
It was pure Dom that interrupted before she could finish the word.
“I have tolerated you saying that for months. Mandy, you are not broken. Someone, somewhere, fucked you up. They were fucking awful in bed, and blamed you at a time when you were vulnerable. Your problem? Is buying into it. If someone told you that you were stupid, would you believe them?”
She shook her head vehemently no.
“No, of course not,” he continued. “Because you know that you’re a fucking smart woman. You have successfully taken care of yourself–paid your bills, maintained an apartment and a vehicle, and a job where your skills are definitely needed. So–not stupid. That said? You took his fuck up…whomever “he” was…because he couldn’t satisfy you…and turned it into a mantra that you’ve repeated often enough that your body believes it. You need to get through that, past that. I don’t think Keegan is able to do that.”
“Hear me out, Mandy. He can’t, because he really cares about you. About fucking this up. So. He’s dumped you into my lap.”
She blinked, sitting up straight in the chair.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Yup. You’re my problem now.”
She stared at him, horror written clearly on her face.
“I–I…no. No. Not possible. I can’t let my boss be the “cure” for my …my …orgasm issues. Oh my gawd.”
Her hands covered her flaming face. Soft ‘no, no, no, this isn’t happening’ came from between her fingers, to his vast amusement.
Keegan was right. This was going to be a lot of fun.