What. The. Fuck. (Viewpoint 3)

with deepest appreciation to that searcher who was looking for aliens sucking tits…and to my boon friend, Will Crimson…he’s my go-to guy, fellow author, with as much insight into Tentaclalia as anyone I know. It’s great to have a friend who will tell you exactly how many times one used the word “goop” in one’s writing…(trust me, this is a GOOD thing!)…and laugh at your funny bits. You’re one in a million, Will, and I thank you for your wacky mindset that really coalesces with mine…we’re weird fucks, to be sure, but we sure have fun with it!  ~nilla~

 

*He adjusts the microphone one last time, as the pretty young woman moves to sit across from him. She looks nervous, but he notices her curvy tits, the pretty curl of her hair, and the lovely round shape of her ass as she sits. Clearing his throat, he dives into the interview*

“Do you mind if I record this? I like to be certain that I properly quote people in my stories.”

“ah, I…sure, I guess…” She looks, if possible, even more uncomfortable than she did when she entered the room.

“You know how papers like mine get such a bad rap, making up stories, putting up topless pictures of celebrities and the like. But at the Daily View we pride ourselves in reporting accuracy.”

“uhm…okay, sure. Look, I’m not really totally sure about this–”

“Please! Oh, no..stay…really. Your little……{pausing, he leans forward, covering the mic, and whispers to her} …

“you know we can’t mention those social media sites by name or we have to pay royalties…”

“oh. uh…okay…”

“Your –we’ll call it a “blurb”– was circling the globe, you know. Rather like an alien spaceship might, amiright?”

He smiles in what he hopes is a winsome manner, nodding his head at his cleverness. It isn’t everyday he gets to interview the woman who tweeted that she’d been screwed by aliens. He wonders if he could get in her pants as easily as some “alien” did. He watches her body language as he continues to dive into the checklist of questions on his clipboard. He is sure he’ll trip her up, and this will be a waste of his time…unless he gets to fuck her. She is a prime piece, he muses, his gaze slipping from her ankles to the secret place hidden by the hem of her skirt.

She blushes, crossing her legs at the ankle and tucking them under the chair. Her purse is pulled up high on her lap almost defensively.

“You know, young woman, it isn’t everyday that someone tells the world that she was …raped…by an alien. And for it to be retwe….shared, I mean…the million plus times that it was? My dear, you’re an overnight sensation! Maybe for that alien, too, eh?”

He grins at her, but his attempt at humor goes unappreciated.

“It happened. I remember it. Clearly. I might have been out of my head with it, but–”

“With…”IT”…. can you describe that a bit more for us?”

Her voice drops again, as her discomfort grows.

“It. The thing. It gave me…you know.”

“Chlamydia? Herpes?”

“No!” she stares at him, indignant. Taking a deep breath, she continues.

“Orgasms. It gave me a zillion orgasms. When it raped me.”

“Pardon me, miss, but the two see mutually exclusive.”

“It made me drink stuff. And it…affected me.”

His eyebrows raise. He hadn’t heard this part before.

“Tell me more. Wait. What did It look like? Did you suck it’s dick?”

She covers her face with her hand, hiding her eyes. Her voice is muffled by it.

: BOB!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING?:

:NOTHING:

:FUCK IF YOU AREN’T…WAIT…ISN’T THAT CARSON’S LAST MOTHER? THE FUCK…IT IS HER…WHAT THE FUCK?:

{sound of toggling of switches, and a voice booms through the ship: CARSON TO THE BRIDGE CODE RED}

“It –wasn’t like us…at all…it was…goop. It could make shapes…it went into my mouth and …and…injected me with something goopy that I had to drink and..”

“But did it have a penis? Was it HUGE like they show on those overseas pornos?”

:I DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. CARSON!!! YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU BLOCKED HER MEMORY. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?:

:uhm…I dunno Captain, I just got here, remember? I had to …well Yani was in my quarters and you know how…avidly she secretes…But I de-slimed and came up here as soon as you called me. I have no idea why but I came up here…:

He is interrupted by his nearly apoplectic captain pointing a tentacular finger at the big vid screen that he’d uploaded from Bob’s viewscreen.

:LOOK AT THE FUCKING SCREEN:

:Cap’n sir, uh..you kind of just spit on me…:

:CARSON! FUCKING FOCUS HERE. SHE REMEMBERS! THIS IS A FUCKING DISASTER (SOUNDS OF LIQUID SLOSHING ABOUT):

:Cap’n…maybe you should stop pacing…you’re kind of …uhm…:

:KIND OF WHAT? (HE SOUNDS PISSED):

:er…well Sir…..you’re kind of rolling around like a tsunami, sir.There’s…uhm…you’re leaving a trail, Captain.. And okay yeah, that’s my last mother down there talking to a .. OH FUCKING JUPITER!!!!:

:I SEE YOU FINALLY GROK THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE MATTER:

:You have to send me back. I have to stop it. I …:

:ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND? SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR FUCK UP? DO YOU HAVE any IDEA WHAT HEADQUARTERS WILL DO TO ME OVER THIS? YOU’LL GET DEMOTED, SENT PLANET-SIDE AND MIGHT BE SORTING  PUKA PEARLS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. ME? I’LL BE SCUTTLED AND BECOME FRIKKING METEOR SHOWERS EVERY 78 YEARS. THIS IS BEYOND BAD. I’M GOING TO HAVE TO SPRAY THE ENTIRE ATMOSPHERE WITH FORGET-ME-NOTS. THOSE FUCKING FLOWERS WILL BE EVERYWHERE, FROM THE NORTH POLE TO THE AMAZON JUNGLE:

There is an audible gasp in the room.

:YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!! HOLY HALCYON!  YOU’LL HAVE ELEPHANTS MATING WITH TIGERS, AND HUMANS MATING WITH DOGS AND CHAOS, MAN…IT WILL BE BORNE OF THIS ONE CRITICAL DECISION!:

:SHUT UP BOB:

:humans mating with dogs? Holy Jupiter, Bob. Where do you get these thoughts from?:

:AND HE FUCKING OOZES ALL OVER EVERYTHING. JUST. STOP. BOB.:

******************

“I’m sorry, you were saying..?” The reporter tries to get her to lower her hands, and respond.

“I…it…there was…”

She rises in a quick motion, almost upsetting the small coffee table between them.

“Look,” she says, her face crimson. “It was a hoax. Nothing happened. I just broke up with my boyfriend and thought I’d just…you know. Get famous and make him regret dumping me.”

He blinks. Well, thank GAWD he wouldn’t have to write this story up. He knew the boss was mad at him for boffing his sister, but for fucks sake, to sic him on an alien fucking story?

“Oh. Oh. Well, then okay.”

“Really?” She looks at him, nervous. She didn’t know why she’d thought this was a good idea anyway. He was kind of cute, in a way. He was a bit obnoxious, but didn’t that just mean he was confident?

“No worries. It happens. Ya get caught up in the excitement and here I am trying to get your…story.”

He pauses, his eyes on her tits. Was it his imagination, or were they bigger than when she’d first come in?

“So….since we’re not doing the interview, it would be shame to let this hotel go to waste. I can order us some room service…some wine on the paper’s tab wouldn’t be a bad thing, right?”

He runs a finger down her wrist.

:you’ve got to be kidding me:

:SAVED BY THE FUCKING BELL! I’M NOT SURE WHAT WENT ON DOWN THERE JUST NOW, BUT SHE BACKED OFF…:

:someone’s gonna get lucky…won’t have to play pocket polo tonight:

:geezuz Bob:

:SHUT UP BOB. BOY DID WE DODGE A BULLET THERE. IF I’D HAD TO DEPLOY THE FORGET ME NOTS I’D BE FUCKED:

:I think you’re not the one getting fucked tonight, Boss:

:THAT’S CAPTAIN, YOU IDIOT:

:I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to call you an idiot, sir.

*sounds of sighing from all over the bridge, then a quick series of slaps, a deep vibrating jolt and a gargled scream. There is a moment of silence, then the sound of something big sloshing as it hits the floor. Someone behind the captain applauds.*

:SECURITY, STASH THAT FUCKTARD IN HIS BERTH AND LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR:

:permission to go below decks Sir?: (he thinks longingly of Yani’s presence in his berth, the many holes awaiting him. Sure she was messy, but by Jupiter she was fun as fuck!)

:GRANTED. CON, GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. ON MY MARK…:

:bearing 3.045 vector 12 ready on your mark, captain:

:ENGAGE:

Below, a man and his young son gaze up at the Big Dipper. He is pointing out the handle to the boy when a brilliant light arcs across the sky leaving a trail of incandescent blue. IN a hotel on the other side of town, two bodies are entwined. Through the window, she also sees the arc of light. And smiles.

 

 

 

 

What. The. Fuck. (Viewpoint Two)

Inspired by one of those crazy search terms…”alien rape, creature sucking tits”…thanks anonymous surfer! This ones for you.  Less Dragons than the first one! ~nilla~

:I have initiated third harvest sequence. Earth-femme is asleep as this side of the planet is now in dark mode. My arrival upon her makes her stir, as always, but she will settle in a moment.:

:YOU’D BEST NOT FUCK THIS UP- YOUR ASS IS ON THE LINE AFTER YOUR LAST SCREW UP:

:I did not intend to leave eggs behind. And that was eons ago. Earthlings have accepted Tentacles as part of their water world. No harm, no foul. Now let me do my fucking job! Get it? Fucking…job?:

:STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND GET ON WITH IT. WE NEED TO FINISH THIS–THE REST OF THE TEAM IS DONE AND WAITING ON YOU!:

:working, for Jupiter’s sake. It’s not like it just happens. I need to feel it:

:YOU’LL FEEL IT IF YOU SCREW THIS UP:

She woke in the night. Completely disoriented, she patted the nightstand for her phone.

2:13

Why the fuck was she awake at two-fucking-thirteen in the a. fucking m. anyway? She felt something under the blanket.

: Come, Female–I’m gonna make you feel good. don’t fight it, just lay there will you? Just a minute more and you’ll be all nice and juicy and ready for me:

:”GONNA”…”JUICY”..? WHERE HAVE YOUR LANGUAGE SKILLS GONE? FRANKLY, I’M APPALLED:

:speaking in the vernacular. She’s putting up a bit of a struggle tonight:

:OF COURSE SHE IS, LAST NIGHT OF THE HARVEST, OF COURSE. (huge sigh audible through space static) WHY THE FUCK CAN’T ANY OF THIS GO SMOOTHLY? I’M WARNING YOU, DON’T FUCK THIS UP! I’M NOT KIDDING, CARSON. GET WITH THE PROGRAM, FINISH YOUR WORK, AND GET YOUR FLOPPY CARCASS BACK UP HERE. PRONTO!:

A hard breath wheezed from her lips at a sudden, very distinct, sucking against her right tit.

What. The. Fuck.

She said it aloud, pressing down her body as she spoke. Her voice didn’t sound strong, but panicked. Her fingers touched a rubbery mass, and flicked away in fear.

Something was on her–AND IT WAS SUCKING HER TIT.  Her legs kicked, and she tried gingerly plucking at whatever the goop was. It didn’t move, but it did hold her fingers. Stuck, she wriggled harder, until she felt the ooze arrowing faster now, down her body.

A strange languor crept over her, coupled with an evergrowing urge for sex.

:That’s a good girl. Let me in, let me in…:

It oozed upward, sliding up over her mouth, blocking her whimpers, absorbing them.

:swallow…SWALLOW…there you go…now you’ll feel a bit –how should I say it? Horny? To use your earthling terminology…? Yes. I feel you opening to me, little flower…-:

:SERIOUSLY….COULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT? YOU’RE NOT COURTING THE BAG OF FLESH. YOU’RE HARVESTING HER EGGS. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO INJECT HER WITH YOUR PUKA PEARLS, SUCK IT UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE:

:I SERIOUSLY HOPE I HEAR YOU FUCKING SOON:

There was a hot wet trickle slicking down, her body swallowing without thought.

Heat bloomed and her nipples and clit swelled. The ooze backed from her mouth and nose; drawing a deep breath, she panted as her pussy swelled, then filled with the thick weight of the creature possessing her. It grew bigger, bigger. Tears gathered, falling in silent streams down the sides of her face as it stretched her cunt wider than she had ever felt. Her clit was swollen, feeling like it would burst with sex need.

It fucked her.

:am…(static)…engage(static)d…..very…ho.(static, static)..t   best…night…..ever….ohhhfuuuuukkkk..(not static).:

:WHY CAN’T I EVER GET TO DO THIS PART:

:SHUT UP, BOB. YOUR TURN WILL CUM…:

:HAHA. GEE THAT WAS A FUCKING RIOT:

:Can I get some fucking peace down here?  I’m trying to concentrate. I can HEAR you…and you know…i’m BUSY here. Working.   Am preparing..(static)…anal…(static) ohmyyymymmmyyyy…entry..(deep resounding sigh).:

:HE’S ENJOYING THIS. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ENJOYING IT THAT MUCH. IT’S WORK, DAMMIT! BESIDES, IT’S MY TURN. IT SHOULD BE *MY* TURN:

:SHUT THE FUCK UP BOB! I’M TRYING TO GET THE READINGS HERE..FUCKING STATIC. THIS TOTALLY SUCKS:

She didn’t think she could take any more, but the growing, oozing creature continued to explore her body, finding the tight pucker of her anus and thinning itself, arrowed right into it. Once inside, it too grew, stretching the clenched muscle, forcing it open. The goo expanded, filling her rectum, fucking fast and hard, just as the invader of her cunt was.

:breasts have swollen, nipples tender succulent hard—squeezing…..AH! milk extraction and absorption commencing. Female cunt is very juicy tonight. Some of my preparations from my prior two encounters may linger in her system…make a note…unghhh…aaahhh…of that….willl…ooohhhh…you?:

Her tits were milked. She felt them swelling, her nipples aching with an unfamiliar feeling. She felt full, like her entire body would burst, despite the near constant squirting of her pussy juice. Back arching, she felt light, a tight-strung bow with an arrow set to fly. Her invader squeezed her tits hard, the sucking wild and intense, until it felt her nipples would rip from her body. Instead, jets of hot fluid gushed from them. Her moan was a steady sound as the creature sucked her dry.

She screamed, a shocked cry of pain, quickly silenced by the ooze slipping up over her mouth. She tasted blood, that quic:k stab of copper as her lip split.

:accidentally wounded oral liner when silencing female. Permission to inject healant requested:

:AURAL? HOW DID YOU- :

:No! Or(static)

:WHAT?:

:what?:

(static)

:Oral! Not (static)! Just (static)! Bleeping (static) ORAL!:

:HE SAID AURAL, BOB, RIGHT?:

:CLUMSY:

:What? Could you just give me FU(static)NG permission?!?:

:SHUT UP BOB. FINE. PERMISSION GRANTED. BE MORE CAREFUL WITH THE MOTHER, WILL YOU? (static) HOW DO YOU WOUND AN AURAL LINER ANYWAY? (static) WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE? AND WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FUCKING STATIC? HOW CAN THEY EXPECT US TO HARVEST FEMALES WITH THIS SHITTY EQUIPMENT? ARE YOU ALMOST DONE DOWN THERE? (static)  THIS IS DEPLORABLE. WE REALLY NEED AN UPGRADE. SOONER RATHER THAN LATER, IF THEY EXPECT US TO CONTINUE MEETING QUOTA. (static) OUR ESCAPE WINDOW IS CLOSING QUICKLY–WE NEED TO MAINTAIN EARTHSHADOW TO KEEP THE FRIGGING ISS FROM SEEING US…DEPLORABLE. THIS CONN SUCKS. BOB! FOR JUPITER’S SAKE! STOP OOZING ON THE EQUIPMENT. JUST. STOP. (intense static burst):

Her tummy grew bigger, filled with the beast’s thick fluid. Her womb ached with it, her clit screamed at the increased stimulation of her body.

:Filling and harvesting commencing….:

:ABOUT FUCKING TIME:

:BOB! SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU! GET OFF THE BRIDGE. FUCKING PLUTO, THERE’S OOZE-CRUD EVERYFUCKINGWHERE. CLEAN THIS UP. SERIOUSLY BOB, SHOW A LITTLE DIGNITY MAN. GET OFF MY FUCKING BRIDGE!:

:GRUMBLE. (SOUNDS OF SCUFFLING, LAUGHTER, A SHARP CRACKLE FOLLOWED BY A YELP, THEN A THUD):

:POUR HIM BACK INTO HIS BERTH WILL YOU? FUCKING KIDS. THEY DON’T TEACH THEM ANYTHING USEFUL AT THE ACADEMY THESE DAYS. ALL ABOUT THE HARVEST. FORGET ABOUT PROTOCOLS, DRIVE STANDARDS–:

:Can I get some (STATIC)  fucking peace down here, please? (sounds of loud liquid slurping)ATTEMPTING TO (static) GET SOME WORK DONE HERE, YOU KNOW?:

For a moment, she was sure her body would really explode. The orgasm came with a rush of fluid, eagerly sucked up by the ooze. So intense, so painfully wicked, she fainted.

:Mission completed, harvest done. Ready to return to (STATIC) Mothership:

: (thinks quietly to self…farewell my lovely…truly you were a memorable fuck.) A single tendril of muck rises, strokes the sleeping face. It swells, then begins to coalesce into a single round sphere, shrinking tighter and tighter, until it glows and rises from the sleeping female figure. Bruises and marks healed at a touch, no memory remains of the encounter with the creature…or so it thinks.) :

The light flicks through the window glass as if it were water, then darts up and up, through the dark sky, to the ship waiting above.

The cop looks up from his cruiser, openmouthed. Third frigging shooting star he’d seen this week. Fucking A awesome. His kid will get a big kick out of that! What a lucky shit he was!

~fini~