Cross Your Fingers But NOT Your Legs

I’m here! My last vacation is done, I’m recharged–though I’ve been running like a headless chicken for the best part of this week…trying to get everything I need done for school (I KNOW you peeps with kids relate!) for the teen, as well as the younger ones that I homeschool…well, it’s all coming together and I’m not getting stressed out so the vacation time being “unplugged” must have worked.

For 5 days I was unplugged even from Master, as there just isn’t cell service in the Mountains. He was okay with it, I was … kind of okay with it. You know how it feels to not have that “instant touch” just by being able to send a quick text. It’s good, it’s a connection, even if you don’t hear back right away. It’s rather like reaching out a finger and touching Him. (Even if He’d turn around and bash me with His paper for annoying Him…)

😀

You know it’s been forever since we had face time, more than a month this time. It’s also been since the start of this year since we had playtime. Oh, we had intentions, to be sure, but intentions don’t always make it to reality.

But cross your fingers.

This is the time. This weekend. Sometime, somehow, some way, M and I will have time behind closed doors. Spankings, pinching, canes and whippy things…as well as those less “fun” things like all things anal…will commence.

Yeah. I hate anal.

And YES. Dammit. I like it too. I can’t ever get my head around it so I kind of ignore it until it happens, then whimper and moan a bit…and then roll right into orgasmic bliss. It’s so fucking weird.

I’ve begun to get that feeling of anticipation. I can’t plan any of the “what” because it’s all on  Him. His whims and His toys and His time. He doesn’t work off a plan sheet, He goes with the flow. If He wants to cane the shit out of me–He will. If He wants to tickle me to the point of unconsciousness…then He will. It won’t matter a bit. Because I’ll be with Him.

Okay.

Okay, really, it will matter. Because you all know how I feel about being tickled. (HATE IT!) And anal. And how I like some things but He does what He wants and I’m the submissive so I put up.

And I like it. Like the feeling of submitting, of being inexorably bent to His will, no matter what *I* think about it. It’s been a long while since we danced that dance, but I think I remember the tune.

Yeah. It’s the one that HE plays.

(Doesn’t mean I’ll be “perfect”…coz…I’m not a boring doormat, and that’s not what He’d want anyway…I’m sure I’ll be up to some mischief before our time is done…in fact, you can pretty much count on it.)

;D

About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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3 Responses to Cross Your Fingers But NOT Your Legs

  1. Kayla Lords says:

    Welcome back and fingers crossed! I hate and love many things myself, and you’re right. It *is* fucking weird. 🙂

    • vanillamom says:

      That’s what keeps it fun, I think…that we *embrace* our weirdness. I’m weird and you’re weird–and we’re okay!

      nilla

  2. Twiglet of Hundred Acres says:

    keeping fingers and toes crossed for you that this weekend, about now, is working out just fine for you with pain and sexiness and all the things you crave. twiglet.

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