The Non-Hook up

We haven’t met in weeks.

I miss Him.

A lot.

Not just the Dom stuff…sure, who doesn’t like to be pinched purple, nipples twisted, tits groped until one cries out in small gasping whimpers? I mean, what slut wouldn’t miss all that? There’s more to our relationship though. So I’m not only talking about the Big Mean Dom hurts his submissive part, but the other stuff, too.

I miss the scent of Him.

I miss the hardness of Him…not that you filthy pervert. . .okay, that,  but also…He just does things hard. Hard hugs….the kind a slut like me melts into. Hard kisses, the kind that make you want to be naked. Right then, right there.

Sorry Starbucks customers, I couldn’t help myself.

Yeah, that kind of kiss.

And all of His touches, hard. A pinch here, a poke there, a grab here, a quick face slap (usually after one of those ‘get nekkid’ kisses)…it is all part and parcel of even the shortest lived times together.

I miss that.

I miss Him.  Seeing that gleaming twinkle in His eye when He’s being naughty…the way His hair blows in the wind, the way he smells. Oh yeah. I said that already but you know…it really is a wonderful thing, the scent of our Dom, isn’t it?


I’m lonely. And bored. Because I sat down here instead of doing some work around the house, and now you all can be part of my pity party melancholy moment.

That’s me…here to share the joy.

You’re welcome.


About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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11 Responses to The Non-Hook up

  1. Kayla Lords says:

    (((HUGS))) I think those melancholy moments are well earned. Life is *hard* and when you don’t get to find release in the one thing/person that centers you completely, it’s normal (and okay) to feel a bit blah about life.

    • vanillamom says:

      ThanksKayla…life is SO hard at times..and I know it’s not much easier for you all, despite the being together all the time. Having any relationship takes work…having a D/s relationship is even harder, I think. But i am better for having had just an hour with the Man last weekend…not “full” but not depleted, either. It was good to see that HE missed *me* almost as much…


      • Kayla Lords says:

        I think seeing him miss you is probably more soothing to your soul than anything (at least, I know that would help me)…it’s easy to think that we need them more than they need us, until they show us the proof otherwise. 🙂

  2. Jz says:

    :pulls up a chair, sits next to her friend, and sighs along with her:


  3. michelle says:

    Hugs. It’s hard without the face time. Hopefully you get some soon.

    • vanillamom says:

      Thanks michelle…we did, we did!! It was worth every second of driving in the rain and cold and fog….oh, the scent of him….mmmm

  4. abby says:

    I get it…..when i am i am now..I miss His scent, His taste…His smell,,,and of course His touch…
    hugs abby

    • vanillamom says:

      away =-form-them time is so hard. I’m not sure anyone but another sub would get how hard it is. Hugs to bear your separation….


  5. Twiglet @ 100acreSub says:

    Hugs. My Beast goes away a lot so I sympathise. Trying to avoid mope mode here too as he’s away again now. Sympathies.

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