It’s been a hell of a month, February. Totally kicked my ass in the “You Win Sickness” category. One I’d gladly unenroll from, thanks.

I had to cancel a playdate with M because I was pretty close to pneumonia. Not fun screaming in pain when you can’t breathe. . . and when every other breath is coughing up a lung, not so fun for Him, either.

I had to cancel a visit with a sexy blog friend. I wasn’t happy to give this up either, but again, a visitor who coughs her lung out in your living room isn’t the best sort of house guest.

You need to sit down for the next part.

I did not work for close to 60 consecutive hours.

I cancelled clients during the week, and took the afternoon of Saturday, through the Monday holiday totally off. I slept, I rested, I did ZERO housework, leaving everything up to anyone else who would bother to do it.

I didn’t even feel guilty about that; was really too sick to give much of a fuck. And yanno, the damnest thing happened…I started to get better! I’ve been on two rounds of antibiotics, and the second one is clearing up a secondary infection, but now, for the first time in 4 weeks, I feel human.

Safe enough to try to work out some face time with M –I was worried that I’d infect him, which would be terrible. I have a voice, something I didn’t have for a really long stretch. (more than a week–amazing how many people whisper at you when you can’t speak–very amusing)

All that aside, I knew I was getting better when I started having raunchy sex dreams again. For a while there I was SO busy with work, with family, with kids, with STUFF–filling every waking moment with STUFF…that I forgot.

Forgot that I am a slut.

That I’m horny.

That I’ve got some warped and twisted thoughts about sexah and sex and beating and bondage and (phew…I’m, ahem, getting a bit excited writing all of that…!) and for a long while I didn’t feel ANY of that. I was …vanilla wrapped.

But having that down-time gave me the strength to break off that wrapping, in my head at least, and fired up my libido and my imagination. Every spare moment of late, I’ve been writing. Not many spare moments (while I was sick I didn’t even open my computer for most of the time)…but what I have had has gone to writing out some of the dreams I was dreaming, the thoughts that fall into my head while showering, and the plain old sick fuckery that pops into my head at odd moments.

So thanks for hanging in here with me…I feel like one of the few “old-timer bloggers” that’s still keeping on…and I’ve kind of let you, my wonderful readers, down for the last few months. I’ll keep writing, and you c’mon by and see what’s rockin’ around here, k?

And soon, hopefully, I’ll have some time with the Man and REALLY have some kinky shit to tell you all…one can only hope it happens not too long from now, because this slut needs some pain, some orgasms, and some time with my Master’s hands upon my body.

About vanillamom

For over 8 years--(EIGHT?!) nilla and M have been a D/s couple. I'm the "small s" side of that designation, as he often reminds me. I'm silly and prone to giggling at inopportune times. He's a wicked Sadist, who feeds me my drug of choice--pain. My brain is always spinning dirty and dark little fantasies, which I sometimes share with the world. Welcome to the nilla-verse. It's wet and slippery here...with a dragon or two lurking.
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20 Responses to Finally…

  1. dvjan21 says:

    Glad you are better.

  2. Sometimes that disconnect is what it takes. Glad you are finally feeling better and are back up and around.

    • vanillamom says:

      thanks JB. SO hard to disconnect. But I’m up and rarin’ to go…full voice and all. I can sing at work and not cough up a lung! I know you relate. Hoping to get some Master and nilla time next…


  3. abby says:

    Happy to hear you are back and feeling better….hugs abby

  4. Kayla Lords says:

    Gee, who’d a thunk that RESTING would help you feel better. Do a certain someone and I have to come up there and knock some sense into your thick skull?? 😉 ((HUGS)) Glad you’re starting to feel human again!

    • vanillamom says:

      LMAO!! I know, I know. You understand that frantic ‘but I gotta’ mindset…mom, sub, slut, working writer, laundry person, cook, tp filler…I know you grok! Even M was getting impatient with my “save the world” shit. So we’ve learned a lesson…I’m not the young chica I used to be…and being sick means I have to take time to care for me. And my family will survive. 😀

      Thanks for caring!


  5. Jz says:

    Imagine rest helping…!

    (yes, I am looking “significantly” at you over the tops of my glasses… ;-p)

    • vanillamom says:

      I could totally picture that look. 😀

      It seems so obvious, doesn’t it. But don’t you know the world will stop in it’s tracks if I’m not there to dry the laundry or put the tp on the roll? LOL. Yeah. Not.

      (lesson learned?)

  6. michelle says:

    Glad you’re feeling better! Feburary can suck it. 😉

    • vanillamom says:


      Even though it is my birthday month!! Even my kids noted that I’ve been sick for the last three birthdays. February can suck it. SO happy to be back to my old self again!


  7. mouse says:

    Goodness! So glad that you’re feeling better.


    • vanillamom says:

      thank you mouse! I want to sing “at laaaaaassst”… but really I’m just so happy to feel normal.
      or … as normal as I ever get.



  8. Isabel says:

    You can only do so much nilla. Glad you’re on the mend.

    • vanillamom says:

      Thanks Isabel. Isn’t it funny how we think the world will fall apart if we don’t do ‘thus and so’…? Truly, things went on just fine while I was abed, and resting and taking time to recover.


  9. blossomuk10 says:

    so glad to hear you are feeling better…smiles

    • vanillamom says:

      I am so thrilled to be healthy at last! Amazing what one can accomplish once you get your energies back!

      Thanks for the kind words, blossomuk10!


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