Wishing you all a day that is merry and bright, and full of the blessings of family and friends.

Peace to you all, no matter your proclivities…for only in peace can we learn to live together as one people, despite our diversities. I for one welcome them.

Love is love is love is love is love.

An Early Gift

You know when your dominant gives a gift…not one that is a physical thing you can carry on your body or hold in your hand…something more intangible?  He gave me that this week.

Words and promises and…


I’ve wondered, you know. Was he *really* still interested in me? In beating me, fucking me, torturing me? He said He was..

.(and yeah, I should learn to just take that stuff at face value because he doesn’t say what he doesn’t mean…never has, and after 8 years, I guess I can trust, right?)

I wondered if it was…you know…habit. We’ve been together for the longest of times, after all.  Yet, at times I’ve felt like we’ve been drifting apart. It felt sometimes like I was the only one making the effort to keep in contact, to try to be exciting, or keep his interest in us alive.


We who are submissives are a fucking strange lot at times. We often don’t value our own worth to those that top us. We’re important to them in ways that we don’t always understand. I still  need to remind myself of that.

He values me.

Even thinks about me sometimes, despite my not being around much lately.

For about 3 weeks there, we had next to no contact. Work was crazy wonderfully busy, which is great when you’re mostly self-employed. Even on Facebook I was pretty much ignoring my friends, just posting pictures of my kids and pets, some of the beautiful sunsets we’ve had.  I was barely even seeing my family. Forget about time to talk to Him!  Some days it was just a morning and evening “hi, good morning ” or “Hi, good night” as the extent of my texting.  Like I said, crazy busy.

I think he was okay with that,(at least at first) but when you consider that for years I’ve texted him a bunch of times a day, to suddenly be down to two texts a day was out of the norm for nilla. Then this past week, I tried calling him a bunch of times, missing him. He’d call me back later…missing me…and on that went.

But out of the blue, he texted me about wanting to beat me.

When I’d been ready to write and say ‘fuck it, I guess we can’t make this work anymore’.

He wanted to beat me.

It turned me on. It turned me into mush. It made me grin and smile and feel. That’s it mostly-a reminder to feel all those wonderful, glow-y, submissive feelings again, when my life had become 99% vanilla.

It was only a few words but it gave me more than just “hope”. It was more in the nature of a promise, and a small sense of his longing. He’s an older gentleman, and very patient. He doesn’t get frenetic or wild or even enthusiastic. He’ll smile and laugh and be sillly–he’s very genial…but those wild outbursts are not his style at all…so this one sentence spoke volumes.

And tonight we talked. He told me a story of having to find something in the way back of his car, where he has a bunch of things stashed. (Who doesn’t have a Twilight Zone of stuff in the back of their car other than my mother in law??) He came upon an object that he’d gotten this summer…a true pervertable. He held it in his hands for a moment, before searching and finding the thing he’d been looking for.

It refreshed his memory…and his longing to use this thing on me.

“That’s going to welt up, bad. You’re going to want to find work where you only have to stand..sitting will be impossible for days,” he warns, his tone gleeful.



Gods, how I love that tone in his voice. I’m frankly nervous about the  pervertable toy…I’m not spilling the beans until after he and I get together about what it is, and what happens after he tries it out on me…(oh how badly I need that to happen!)..then I’ll let you know what he found, and what it felt like and how much I love or hate (or both!) it! There might even be a photo essay involved….!

It’s a promise, this new toy. It’s a gift of a future time to be together, and a sign that he misses our play time as much as I have. I’m not alone in this longing, and that, really, is the greatest gift of all.


I’ve been totally lax about posting HNT’s here and let it slip to M…since I’m too busy to post and HE’s too busy to come see…I guess I figured that He’d say, oh, whatever, do it if you so choose, and if you don’t have time, then don’t.


His response was “You must NOT let HNT lag, nilla.”

So this is me, making time, not letting my tits go lagging. 😀  A pretty little bedtime shot…

20161203_000046-1.jpgthat just…popped up…if you will…*grins wickedly*

Happy HNT!

The Great Cookie Exchange v.2016

It’s here! At last, at last, today is the Great Cookie Exchange. IN the manner of a cookie swap, but without actual cookies. (Not computer ‘cookies’ either!) But those of us participating will be sharing some of our favorite cookie/holiday treat recipes. I have so many favorites that it’s often hard to narrow it down. Peanut butter turbans…mmm…good old fashioned sugar cookies? YUM! Or how about reverse chocolate chip? They’re all SO good. I’m actually baking cookies as I write this on Tuesday, though this years ‘new’ recipe has NOT been made yet. If you’re reading this at Eastern USA breakfast time, I’m actually just now baking the cookie that I’m sharing!

Peppermint Kiss Thumbprint Cookies  Prep time 25 mins  Cook time 12 mins

Soft thumbprint sugar cookies with a creamy white chocolate center and topped with a peppermint kiss!


  • 1 cup butter
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla (I always use more vanilla than called for)
  • 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
  • 2 1/4 cups flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt

For the chocolate

  • 1 cup white chocolate chips
  • 4 tablespoons heavy cream (1/4 cup)
  • red food coloring
  • one bag peppermint Hershey kisses, unwrapped


  1. Pre-heat oven to 350°. Lightly spray a baking sheet with cooking spray (or lightly grease with shortening), set aside.
  2. In a large bowl, cream together butter and powdered sugar until smooth. Mix in egg yolks, vanilla, and almond extract. in another, medium sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients until all ingredients are incorporated. Roll dough into 1 inch balls (oh, balls!! this IS a sexy post after all!) and place on prepared baking sheet 2 inches apart. Use your thumb, or the end of a wooden spoon to make a well in the top of each dough ball.
  3. Bake cookies 10-12 minutes. Remove and allow to cool 5 minutes before carefully removing from pan and allowing to finish cooling. When cookies are cool enough to touch, gently press down the center of the cookie to re-form the well.
  4. In a microwave safe bowl, combine chocolate chips and heavy cream. Microwave on high for 1 minute (or use a double boiler if you don’t have a microwave). Stir until chocolate is melted and mix is smooth. Reserve 1/4 cup of the chocolate and set aside in a zip-lock bag. Add 3-6 drops of food coloring (according to your own preference of color) to the larger portion of chocolate and mix until smooth and even in coloring (I don’t mind it swirled, actually. And I don’t mind leaving it white, either.). Fill each cookie well with approximately 1 teaspoon of the tinted chocolate. Snip off a tiny corner of the zip lock bag and swizzly-drizzle a few lines of the white chocolate over the cookies, then press a peppermint kiss into the middle of the chocolate. Allow to cool completely, and let chocolate set for about 1 hour (or you can pop into the freezer for 10-15 minutes to speed-set the chocolate!). Optional: sprinkle the cooled cookies with granulated or sanding sugar for a more fancy look. (I think I’d do this while the cookies were still “setting” or else the sugar would simply slide off…but I’ll know more after I get them out of the oven!)

The recipe doesn’t look like it makes a ton of cookies, less than 2 dozen. But won’t they look festive on your holiday cookie platter?20161206_134502.jpg

Now, here is the list of all the peeps who are participating in this year’s cookie party! Make sure you go and pay them a visit and see what recipes you’ll be adding to your personal collection. Aaaand….

Huzzah and Image result for gif for confettimagical internet                                 confetti….

to our amazing hostess, Jz, for setting this up for another year. It’s a lot of work–albeit delicious–and I am most appreciative of her annual efforts. So’s my tummy! Happy baking everyone!









collared mom










His slut












Mrs. Fever


Ms. Constance


nilla   Don’t click this link…you’re already HERE, silly!