“She’s too tight…it can’t go in…”

Rough growls sound in the semidark room.

“Just fuck her already.”

“I told you, you asshole. I can’t push in. She’s too fucking tight and dry.”

“Just wait here a second…”

“Now where the hell are you going?”

“Goin’ to the kitchen.” The voice recedes.

“What the holy fuck for?” Grumbles the first.

The sound of footsteps returning move at the same pace he’s trying to thrust into the exposed cunt of the woman on the bed. Her legs are tied up and away, ‘Chicken-wing style’ some call it. She moans, her body wriggling, trying to keep him out. Only the head of his shaft is poking at the reddened lips.

“Here, use this on your willy.”

“BACON GREASE? Are you outta your fuckin’ mind? I’m gonna have bacon-all over my dick??”

“Look. You put the grease on you. You fuck the shit out of her. You pull out and shove your cock in her mouth, have her clean you good, get any grease off it. Forever and after, whenever she smells bacon, eats bacon, sees bacon, she’ll always remember the great cockfest we gave her here in Maine.”

“Long live bacon!”

With a cackle, he reaches into the open jar of congealed grease.