Oh, my old friend Horny.
There was never any doubt in my mind that it HAD to be the word for today. To understand my love of horny, you must travel with me back in time to the start of my journey a few months before I became the nilla you all know today.
I was a very unhappy housewife. I had two young kids, I hadn’t had any sexual relations for years, and my spouse had been extremely unkind to me in an ongoing series of unkindnesses. I was the boring, non-sexual, stay at home wife.
I didn’t feel sexy. Whatever sex drive I’d had, I believed had dried up and gone south. Like to Antarctica south.
Cold and dry, just like my poor old dusty pussy.
And then one boring day, I was noodling around on the computer and…
Whoa… who knew???
I found my first porn site. First images, then links to blogs. I started reading…some stuff I’d never even *imagined*.
I was like a 48 year old virgin.
And when I stood up from the computer, I discovered something *amazing*. My pussy wasn’t really dried up. Far from it!!! I was *soaked*. For a few minutes there, I was sure something was wrong with me.
AS I began to explore “those” kind of websites…you know, like the one you’re reading right now (LOL!)…I began to realize that something was wrong with me.
I’m a sexual deviant.
I’m a pervert.
I’m a submissive.
I LOOOOOVVVVEE sex. All of it. The dark and dirty, the hitting, spanking, whipping, beating, oh please-make-it-hurt-kind. The slap my cunt until I squirt on your hand kind. The pull my hair, slap my face, OH GAWD I”M SO HORNY kind of woman.
I was in a state of arousal, a very horny slut, from that day onward. And while there are still times when my libido is low, I’ve learned that this too is a natural arc of our bodies. No one can sustain anything at that level forever. There have to be periods of rest. Kinda–sorta. *insert wry grin*
But finding that acceptance for myself, for my perversions was a major milestone for me. My “aha!” moment, I guess. I started writing this blog. It was my fantasy life put down for all to see, a way to “visit” the things I’d dream of what I wanted to happen to me. Then when M and I became an item, I could and did add some reality sex play into the fantasy stuff–it all just came together, a different kind of physical outlet. It helped me to offset all the times He and I couldn’t be together due to time, distance, obligations galore. And what better way to sustain that level of “horny” then to write about it, ergo “infecting” others with those same needs? (misery loves company?!)
I still see “situational sex” in most everything I look at. I wonder all the time about people that I see in day to day life. Are they Dom’s? Are they submissive? Even the women in their power suits, the men in manly work clothes. Is the construction worker with the cute face a submissive? Is he maybe wearing a chastity device as he jackhammers the road? (How uncomfortable!) Is she, that nice lady checking my stuff out at the grocery store, is she is Domme? Or is she someone’s submissive like me? Oh, and I smile too at my own secret, horny, wanton self. You know, me, the good mom, the careful planner, the responsible adult. The put-ter-away-er of laundry and everyone else’s junk? The gardener, the errand runner, the “Sure I’ll help you” friend.
I mean, really. I’m just a stay at home wife and mom.