So…here’s what I’ve been thinking. I’m hoping it comes out sounding coherent. If not, eh, you can ask me what the fuck do I mean and I’ll answer!

I have a few blogs and tumblr posts that I follow. One in particular that I love to look at while masturbating because the pics are pretty hot. *edit per H.H. politely requesting this*

Here is the tumblr blog that always makes me hot and bothered(and sometimes more bothered than hot, but we’ll get back to that!): kindlybeatingher

And the blog: Bondageblog

Here’s the thing that gets to me sometimes.

The comments. I’m not sure if it’s the poster, or the original poster or what, but sometimes the comments strike me as seriously creepy.

I’m an emancipated woman. We fought for the right to vote, to stand up and be counted, but there are some people who say “your place is on your knees scrubbing floors, keeping your eyes down and being obedient.”



Is this relating to a 24/7 couple? If so, yes, it’s totally, TOTALLY within their right to craft their dynamic however they see fit, however it works for them.

For. Them.

But it kind of scares me just a bit that this misogyny isn’t just pertaining to a playtime, or a role play or scene play, that this is what these men, and some women too,  truly, deeply believe. I guess it scares me because of that kid in California a year or two ago who killed a girl because she wouldn’t date him, because it was his right to make her do what he wanted her to. There’s websites dedicated to this mindset, and that scares the crap out of me. Not because of me, mind you. No one’s gonna go all hot and crazed over a 50+ old lady. But I worry for my daughter. And yours.

I don’t want a society that thinks it’s okay to rape girls, womenkind, because they want to.

Sure, I think rape-fantasy is something 99% of women have. Most feel guilty about it, and some want to role-play it (consensual non-consent), and some live in fear of that very fantasy.

Then there’s me (and others like me) who write about it. Because we know it’s a naughty, human, dark, dirty, terrible, terrifying, lust-inspiring thing to put our darkest fears into public forums to be absorbed by our readership and twist that fantasy button up into a tight little knot.

I’m a slut, and I fully own up to it here. I love to be beaten, fucked, ravaged. I love to be taken just however He wants me. I love to be told what to do, and how to do it, when we’re playing. But he’s taught me that it isn’t okay to live that way in my day to day. He doesn’t have time for it, and I don’t have that sort of … opportunity, I guess, with my kids being older and more clued in to what’s going on with mum.

So that’s my confession on a Friday night when I’m tired and thinking about things with my other brain. (I think it’s my no-filter brain!). I’m still going to masturbate to those wicked pics, and be turned on as fuck by them. But I’m going to remember one other serious thing.

It’s hot, except when it’s real.



8 thoughts on “Seriously

  1. I fully understand what you are saying Nilla. I am 100% on your wave length. I am a man born in the late 50s and i have fought for women’s rights. There are too many narrow minded twats out there. Who are scarred of women. All women should be treated with love and utmost respect,it always the choice of the girl which way she goes. I hope one day this attitude is stapped out very soon. A lot of it is fucking church related. Wankers the lot of them. Rant over i will get of my soap box😠. Have a good weekend end Nilla you are great

    1. Thanks Ashly….this comment is so appreciated. I love this dark-side world we all visit–but I for sure wouldn’t want to live in it all the time, not forcibly. Nor do I want to think about this happening to my friends, or my children or …anyone who wasn’t *into* it. Kink is fine as long as the groundrules are set by everyone at the outset. Where it goes from there is up to the couple. And the dichotomy of what I do here (sounding like a proponent of forced sexual acts) and what I REALLY believe (it’s fun and exciting to read about but I don’t expect to be raped when I take my car in for service, or when I’m at the garden center or whatever…). Just…seems that today more than ever, some just don’t get that. I’m glad you do. Thanks for the reassurance that you can wear the black hat and still be a hero.


    1. Hi Jz, SO sorry for the delayed response to this. Of all the posts that I wrote, this one really struck a note for me, soapbox and all. I’m all for “make me do what you want me to do…” but that’s because of the things we worked out way, way in the beginning of things. And I know that if something isn’t working that I can bring it up (and hell, he COULD say “too bad, slut” and I *could* say ‘ok’…but that’s going off on yet another divergent aspect of the topic!)
      It terrifies me to be raising a daughter at a time when misogyny of this intensity is so rampant. Then again, perhaps it always has been, and the internet just turned the soil over on the silent worm of it, making it visible to us all.

      Thanks for your comment–it is always appreciated, despite my quite delayed response to it!


  2. To me and my son respect to women is second nature.. A lot of the disrespect comes from the holy twats and are so scared of the powerful lady’s. I was in the forces but I would not say I was a hero. I live by ,”treat people how you want to be treated back” But if I meet you I would love to test your cracking arse of yours😍. Have a great weekend 😘

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