A Bit of a Sad

Man, I’m so frustrated I could scream! In many ways, mind you. Sexually frustrated. Needing to be beaten frustrated. Tired of injuries frustrated.

Our playtime has had to be cancelled. I left it in his lap, but I knew he would decide to hold off.  My shoulder injury has worsened, and it looks at this point like there could be surgery involved. Himself has finally healed from his own shoulder issues (6 months!)…so he knows what I’m dealing with here.

And gods above, I’m so …happy? too. He said “While I revel in the pain I cause you, I don’t want you to be hurt…no..” he pauses, starts again…”I don’t want you to be permanently harmed by my accidentally hitting you and furthering the damage to your shoulder. If  you’re hurt by me, that’s one thing. It’s fun and it sexy and it’s what I do. I get pleasure from hurting you, slut. But I’m not going to do anything that would permanently disable you. Because you still need to take care of your family, and run your business, and live your life, and if I harm your injury then I’m affecting your daily life and that’s not what I do.”

It made me feel unbelievably nurtured. Warm and fuzzy and loved. Make no mistake, this caring, thoughtful man is a fucking bastard during playtime. He hurts me terribly wonderfully. But he gets it, that I still need to do stuff. Frankly, I know he enjoys me telling him how hard it was for me to work after he’s beaten me. How it ached when I sat, or how it made me wince to reach for something…he eats that shit up! The pain he’s caused, and its lingering after-effects are a turn-on for him. And, okay, for me as well. I freely admit I’m horny for weeks after a good play session.

But this kind of pain isn’t kink-inspired. It’s just life, and age, and work and who knows what happened that kicked it back up a notch or twelve. I’m really hoping to not have this surgery, but I won’t know any details for a few weeks at least. It’s the waiting and the not knowing that are the hardest part, really.

Sigh.

Sometimes? Life sucks even more that this slut can.

 

20 thoughts on “A Bit of a Sad

  1. That SO sucks, on many levels… but yeah.
    The caring feels so good, too. (Almost makes it worth the rest to feel it! Almost.)
    Fingers crossed and you take care of you.

    1. Thanks sweetie! The caring side of him is really deep and not often seen so openly. It was really great to feel his caring that way. I’m doing much better (and will write soon, PROMISE. Much upheaval this week!)

      nilla

  2. I am really sorry to hear about your shoulder causing you to miss your play date. I hope that you heal quickly after you know what is wrong. Tip

    1. Thanks Tip! I’m on the upswing. Not soon enough to salvage our playtime, but it’s nice to be feeling much better!

      nilla

    1. Thanks for letting me know how hard it was to leave a comment…much appreciated! The lost playtime isn’t very fun, as I know you know. Life keeps interrupting the fun stuff!

      nilla

  3. The taking care of is wonderful…but some meanness and pain….first would have been really nice. Hope your shoulder heals with no surgery….hugs abby

  4. Rotator cuff? Sounds painful. That did sound nurturing. Totally caring right there. But the wrong kind of pain just absolutely sucks! Hope u get better and wont need the surgery.

    1. You know it! The wrong pain sucks but the good pain? I’m so longing for that! Thankfully I seem to be on the mend at long last!

      thanks Fondles!

      nilla

  5. Sorry to hear your shoulder may need surgery.I hope M lets you have a few orgasm to cheer up. I know how you feel. I’m having my 12 op on my foot next month. A good discussion by M good man. Sorry to hear the Pats lost. May be next time.

    1. He is enjoying teasing me about no orgasms far and away too much!! But I’m MUCH better health wise so that’s a good direction to be going in…even with no O in the horizon!

      nilla

I'm so glad you took the time to leave some words!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.