Here!

Kinda

sorta

Had to work out in my head about M and I…it’s been an emotional few weeks, so I’ve been quiet here. And I’m super busy with work just now, juggling, always juggling. If you have kids, you get the whole “summer camp” juggle..add in work, and family and pets and major huge house work..(expensive house work, to boot, sigh)…

and you have a slut with no free time except to eat, sleep, repeat.

M and I are okay. No play time, and I’m not going to go into all the particulars, just I was mad about it. Unjustly, but one cannot always control hurt and upset and anger…that’s what makes us human, after all.

So we have talked, and come back to equilibrium, and things are…steady. Are they improving…? No. Are they changing? NO. And they can’t, just now, for a plethora of reasons.

He wants more.

I want more.

We are both living in the wanting, with no way to make it happen.

Yes…some one or twenty of you may think “hmmm, if there’s all that much wanting, surely you can make it happen…?”

But we can’t. It is just the way the dice are rolling just now, and sometimes you just have to accept that it is what it is, and roll with it. With nearly 10 years under our belts, we’ve been up and down these twisted roads, and we always come out to the other side, strong and happy and resilient in our relationship. We aren’t in that first hot rush of lust. We’re in the settled but still needy stage of deep comfort. So, we will do as best we can, and when things work out, then we’ll be okay again.

Just wanted you all to know I’m still pumping air in and out of my lungs, and life continues to roll on. Maybe at some point I’ll have some time to sit, to write, and reconnect a bit with you all here.

Vanilla life is stuck to me like a latex catsuit. (I know there’s a zipper here someplace….)

HAPPY 4th, America!

Not happy with our leadership, mind you, but all in all, the USA is still a really great place to be living; I’m blessed with a wonderful family, a nice home, a good career, a loving, sadistic Dom, and a happy life. I take none of it for granted because I know others out in the world..and even in our country… are not so blessed.

Still, I’m proud to be an American (despite 45), proud to be a part of a great nation even while it struggles to find middle ground for all of us to live together in some semblance of harmony.

And to round out my blessings, I’m finally healthy, independent from that twice damned infection at last. And my Dom is demanding that I find time, and soon, for us to play together because He needs to beat me.  Prayers and goddess willing, that should happen soon. (never soon enough, but if all goes well, THIS MONTH!)

Life is good in my corner of the world, dear pervie peeps, and I wish the same for all of you on this day of being (as Rudolph says to Hermie) IN DE PEN DENT!

~nilla~