Addicted to Porn

Wave your hand if you are, too?

Yeah, I thought so.

Not many want to admit to the “addiction” part because it’s bad, right? I mean, it’s okay to binge-watch Orange is the New Black, or the Simpsons, but binge-watching porn is bad.

I mean, really bad.

Except…perhaps not.

I have a deep affection for the human body in all it’s sizes, shapes and colors. From breasts to balls, I love looking at naked people. Hell to the yes, it makes me hot, wet, turned on.

Especially if there’s fucking involved.

Or domination.

Or pain.

Nipple clamps and bondage? Whoa, that almost makes me cum, just watching the expressions on the face of the “victim”. But being a submissive isn’t really about being a victim.

Watching “play rape” scenes doesn’t mean I want to be raped. Doesn’t mean I want to see someone be sexually assaulted if it’s not part of a D/s dynamic/agreement.

But fuck, it turns me on.

I can’t really say why. But I do refuse to believe that people engaged in sexual acts that bring them pleasure is wrong, or bad, or evil. So you’re not into anal?

Don’t do it.

Don’t watch it.

But don’t ban *me* from it…nor any of the thousands of people who like it, (or in my case, I can’t say I like it…it’s more of a form of domination that he does it and I like when he makes me do things I don’t like.)

For me that’s my kink. I’m okay with it, with how I am. With who I am. But damnation, it’s taken me into my 5th decade to learn that.

I hope any young whippersnappers who read here begin to find their way to what works, what makes them happy (and what is legal!). But if your kink is piercing your subs tits with needles or nails, leave me out of it.


See? That’s an immediate turn off for me right there. But for you? or You? I’m sure it’s something that gets you rock hard, or dripping wet. We’re pervie peeps, and we’re okay.

(It helps if you believe that the whole world is basically fucked up…because then you *KNOW* that you fit in! If fitting in is important to you!)

So let’s go hang out together on Tumblr (I’m nilla9 there) or  head on over to wherever you find your pervie stuff–and enjoy it. But perhaps…not at work!

And if your perv is my weekly titty pix–well, you know i’m woefully late. Better late than never? This is a repeat, but yanno, it IS football season and I’m so so happy to be watching my beloved Patriots once again (last week not withstanding).  Hmmm….can football be a kink? LOL It sure turns this subbie girl on!




night peeps!



nilla rambles…

Cross your fingers…I might –maybe– get to see Master today. You know, I got my hair cut in early January, and He hasn’t even seen it yet in person? Wild. So if I can get my shit together, we should manage a nice hook up. Am hoping for a longer one next weekend as I have a large chunk of unprogrammed, un-child-burdened time…and will try to coerce Him to go to dinner with me. 🙂

I suddenly have a plethora of stories just begging to be written, and am working on two of them. The story with reader fantasies is still in process as well (I haven’t forgotten them, I just want it all together before I publish that one.)…and I have a few requests that are cogitating in my head.

Like the one (from a Dominant) that asks me to describe the experience of sub-space. I’ve been pondering that, thinking through the times I’m with Master, and trying to see how to capture that experience. It’s hard, don’t you agree, subsisters and subbrothers? Because the experience isn’t always the same each time. So feel free to weigh in on the subject, here or by email (it’s in the sidebar there). I’d be interested in your thoughts and will include them in my post if you wish.  🙂

The weather these last 2 days has been nothing short of fabulous. In the 40’s! FORTY! That’s like…75 in the spring. A-mazing. No coats, tee-shirts, lots of smiles. No coats, mittens, gloves, hats or need for multiple layers. I swear everyone was near to breaking into song there was so much happy up here in the north. It’s been below freezing for 9 of the last 10 days. This was a welcome break. But there is snow (and egads! Ice!) in the forecast for next week…and I’ll welcome that as well. Well–not the ice. I hate that. But snow? Oh, yes, send us snow…My birthday is next weekend and I still LOVE getting snow for it.

And did I mention that I hope to see Master today?

(excited much?)

Have a good rest-of-the-weekend, pervie peeps!





if one calls an untitled post Untitled, isn’t that a title? Hmmm, a conundrum. 🙂

Go with it anyway, willya? I had a tough day yesterday. Yup. I had to do a task that heretofore seemed terribly daunting. I had to attempt…lazyness.


I discovered something-several somethings, really.

  1. Being lazy is hard work. So hard, I had to take a nap midday to recover so that I could do more “lazy” in the afternoon!
  2. Sitting in one place for 3 hours, in the sun, reading a novel –consecutively—gets one sunburnt!
  3. This is NOT something I could get used to. BUT…I feel truly relaxed and refreshed and ready to tackle the next 4 wickedly busy weeks.

There won’t be any jiggling of the calendar for me and Master, unfortunately–He has His work and I’m working the next two weekends both Sat/Sun and my kids have an event that I need to be at the following weekend and then it’s Memorial Day weekend, and that’s always house renovation weekend here. If it rains, there’ll be stuff to do inside, if it’s nice, there’s painting and a new patio to put in–oh we’ll be busy. The following weekend (yes it never seems to end!) is my teens birthday weekend so there really isn’t a time to run away again until after all of that is done. 


So thanks for coming by yesterday for tea and whine. It was much appreciated that you were all so supportive. Today is a hectic day for me, so I won’t get to comments most likely until Tuesday, but know I appreciated every one of them.

Glad you appreciated my stories, and the real life stuff–you always gratify me with your kindness–and it makes me smile.

Wishing I had a bit more D/s to add in here, or a wee story –but I don’t have much of anything. How about a few snippets?


*sound of crickets*


I got nuthin’.


saving it up for a lovely dreadful tale later.

how about a sexy haiku?

*sound of tree frogs*

Three attempts. all sucked. sorry.

Hmmm, I really have nothing but a collection of dirty words, you know-cock, cunt, fucking…but they have no context and no way to morph from bald words to full luscious sensuality.


Soon, my pretty pervies. Soon my cauldron will bubble and boil…and send deliciously naughty tales to make you smile during your morning cuppa.

But for today? Nope. Not going to happen. I think it’s because I actually wrote this during the waning hours of “Lazy Day”.

Does it help to know I wrote this topless? That I took a whole slew of titty pix before sitting to write this? And that even now I’m contemplating masturbating per Master’s orders?

Maybe a little bit?


Ya’ll come back tomorrow. I’ll catch you then!


You want to see one of the pix?  *sigh* I dunno–it seems like that could be “work” and this is still Lazy Day…let’s see if I can muster the energy to push that button and then this one here, and then…

*makes sounds like a plumber crawling under the sink without moving pots n pans first*

*a clink as something falls over, a muffled swear, sound of a dinged elbow and a louder curse*

*sounds of mechanical buzzing and whirring*



*sound of person extricating themselves from pans and pots and extra bottles of dishwashing soap*

….ya go…

empirical proof of “da Lazy” sunburn.

I dunno you guys…making me work like that on Lazy Day seems kinda… sadistic you know?

Good for YOU that I like that!

Happy Monday Pervies!

*sounds of wicked laughter as nilla shuts down her computer and prepares to work some more…on her pussy…*