So ya’ll likely read most of the same blogs i do, right? i mean, my blogroll is right over there to the right …

You’ll remember the flap that anon caused over at sins a few days ago, about people over 40 and sex, and about dominance and abuse and submission and wimpy women/men…blah blah blah. i’m not gonna rehash it all here, it’s been said by all the commentors there and at a similar ‘attack’ if you will, over at Mick’s blog.

It’s pretty obvious that anon is young. She is contentious and rude and snarky, which is upsetting enough…but her ongoing sentiment that sex is only for the young?

First it stuck in my craw, pissed me off. And then i got the humor of it. Oh, my gawd, if only she knew…and if she lives long enough, someday she might. I’m putting it out there now:

I am 52. Fifty-two.

And i’m having more sex (and better, more satisfying sex) now than at any other period in my life. Ever.


That includes, btw, the thrill of masturbating to orgasm, when Master allows me the privilege. Something which i never did when i was young coz i was a “good” girl…and it was “bad” to touch yourself.

I hope today’s generation begins to love their bodies, and understand that we are inherently sexual beings. Our purpose as higher mammals isn’t only to procreate…but to recreate! We are one of the few mammals that play games. Create them, play them.  Recreational sex falls into that category, for me anyway. It’s good. It’s fun! It’s enjoyable…and i believe we’re hardwired for it.

So the title of this post is “graphic”.  Because all of this beginning stuff right here? It is …the prequel, i guess,  to what, by some accounts, might be oversharing. OH, i’ve given you glimpses. Tastes and tidbits,  a bit here a bit there. But today i want to go deeper, try to show you, anon, since i know you read here, too, that sex between consenting adults over 50  is hot. Steaming, smoking, writhing with heat. Just so you don’t think life should end at 29 (btw…have you ever seen Logan’s Run? just a thought…)


He takes me from the bathroom, where i have dressed sexy for His pleasure and mine. I strut across the room in the 6 inch red heels, the skirt of my black lace outfit flirting with my ass, under His watchful gaze. I reach the far wall, and turn, then cross back at His silent gesture.

He hands me the velcro cuffs…the pair that slide up my legs, tighten at my thigh, and the matching pair for my wrists. He clips each wrist to each thigh. He slips the blindfold over my eyes. Here is where the trust enters fully. Trust, as well as  love, are always present when we are together, but… Blindfold marks the start of our “scene time.” I trust that He will hurt me…i want that, after all, as does He. But i also trust that He will not harm me, my body or my spirit.

When we are together, He is always the Dom, and i am always the sub. But during  blindfold time, there is a different…tenor to my submission. Less playful girlfriendy…more fully submissive. He takes me by my hair and wrist, and pulls me across the room, and bends me over his lap.

The spanking happens here, and the pinching. And the assessing. He feels how wet i am. He tells me that i have wet his pantleg with my juices. My ass is burning, the crack ouchy with bruises from his pinching, and i’m upsided downed on his lap…smiling. I feel the throbbing between my thighs, and know how badly i need.

I want.

I want desperately  to be fucked. To cum. To explode for Him. He pulls me up by my hair, and i feel my juices run down my thighs. Hair pulling, this level of control and dominance turns me on so much.

I want.

Already the endorphins have made me high, and i’m disoriented from being ass-end up for so long. He snaps the heavy metal clamps on my nipples, the chain cold against my belly as it sways. He’s moving me across the room, placing me precisely.  He shoves me down, hand firmly between my shoulder blades. Face down on the bed, one leg straddling each corner, knees just above the floor. My pussy is pressed into the corner point of the mattress, my hands uselessly strapped to my splayed legs. My clamped nipples are pressed hard into the mattress and i feel the shivery connection between them and my aching, needy cunt. I am bound now to His desire, His wants.

I have no fucking idea what is coming next. He is silent, yet i feel Him, the heat of Him between my legs. His hand is between my cheeks, spreading me.

And i know.

I know what is happening.

There is no preamble. OH, He uses lube…for His pleasure, ease of entry…i feel the cold drizzle of it as it trails between my buttmoons. So cold i shiver…or is it the nervous anticipation of what is coming?  There is no prep. No butt plug to slowly loosen my asshole. The head of His cock slicks through the lube trail. And presses. Steadily. Without undue roughness, but considerable intent.

His way.

His cock presses inside and a gasp slips from me…a gasp, and a moan. Pain, yes, but i’ve been so turned on for so long, and no fingerfucking, no vibe, no relief since the blindfold went on.

I crave Him. Even this. As He slides up inside my bowels, i am moaning with the burning pain of it…that never ends, really, and then as always when i’m being butt-fucked…the first orgasm SLAMS into me.

There is no warning.

There is no slow and steady build up, that trembling tumble over the edge. No twinkling of my clit, of my inner muscles to warn me. Just abrupt, intense convulsions of my cunt around the nothing there.

He feels it, buried in my ass. Moans, and grunts happily.

Tells me i’m such a dirty slut, cumming with his cock stuffed up my buttpipe. And it happens again. I cum. I …more than cum. I explode. I’m squirting all over the bed, feeling the covers soaking underneath me.

There is no memory i have of “how many” orgasms i had then. He says he fucked my ass for the better part of an hour. I remember little after the fourth or fifth orgasm. It’s a blur of pain, of pleasure, of wants met. The remembered Heat of Him between my legs, His hands pressing down on my back, almost like  backwards cpr,  while he fucked me that way.

Later, long later, He slapped my ass and made me crawl up to the middle of the bed. I thought He was done..  His erection spent, played out in the cavern of my ass.

Silly slut.

 He had a new toy. One i didn’t see  for hours…but i felt it.

A dual insertion vibrator.

Over and over again, He continued fucking into my sore and tired asshole. . . and my needy pussy. The hummmmm of the vibe is a low counterpoint to my mewling crying. No sotto voiced slut, my voice rose and fell all over the vocal register as i came.

And came again.

For hours He played His games with my body. Finally i was near unconscious, so far out in subspace that only the sweet beloved timbre of His voice pulled me back.

Over the course of nine hours, i had more orgasms than you could imagine, anon. When it was time to go, i was sore, throbbing, sated, relaxed, tired, and gawd. . .

So fucking happy.

I wish that for you, anon, that kind of intense, fulfilling happiness. If you’ve got it already, good on you.

But so do i.

So do lots of us.

So lets share the happy. Its fine that you find your bliss in your vanilla bed. But it’s equally fine that i find mine, graphically, in a darker place.

nilla….and notso nilla…

Sir and i were exchanging emails and texts about the juxtaposition of my life as a vanilla mom, and my life as His slut.

i’d just bought a tiger…zebra? whatever the hell animal print…bra. He’s seen a few pix of it, loves it. I wore it to our “mini-meet” a few weeks ago.  He loved it IRL, too. Loved that i wore it “for him”.  Because i did, indeed do it for Him.

But so many pix i send him have me in my blue flannel shirt (which was rescued from skunk smell…don’t ask me how it worked out, but YIPPEE!). He calls it “signature nilla’. He recognizes that essentially, i’m pulling myself out of my “comfort zone” to be his slut. And understands that i’ve not felt sexy in a very long time. (My wife does not think i am sexy. Part of the whole lack of sex thing. )

My vanilla world is all earthy, crunchy. Flannel shirts, tank tops, corduroy skirt, wool sox, slipper or my blue outside boots (those almost-sneaker boots).  You all know that about me anyway.

But there’s this new flavor in my vanilla world. Vanilla with a touch of slut. (grins) I wear makeup ALL the time.  And since Sir likes my slut look, i do a slightly (not much slightly, but enough that it passes vanilla wife muster) less slutty look for real-life.  i have always been a make up slut. Ever since my first green eyeshadow when i was 14. Dolly Parton was my idol. Man that woman could wear makeup (still does, too!) I think i related to her because she has those giant tits…and at 14 i was also very big breasted. As in “C” cup. Really.

So anyway, i figure that, if i’m always in sluttymakeup mode, no one will be the wiser when i head out for a Sir meet all dolled up. Devious. Deceitful. Naughty.

When i go see Sir, i have a wee bag of things. Extra make up (naturally!), sexy stockings, sexy panties, sexy bra.  He takes care of the shoes.

Did i mention i only wear slippers? Flat slippers?

How hard it was to accept that He wanted me in heels. The blindfold he requires….not a problem. Spanking? Sure i was game for that. Heels? 5 1/2 inch heels? On a 5 foot 1 inch nilla…ridiculous. Past silly. nods.

Then he took them out of the box. Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd. First of all, those are fucking tall heels!!!  But…so sexy. Black and white. Beautiful. Stunning. As He said, “sexy, but classy…like you, nilla.”  *blush*

I was so worried that i would make all this effort to break out my vanilla fantasies and swirl myself in this world i am so curious about…and not be able to go through with any of it. The mental shifting was so funny. Hiking, camping, wool sox wearing,  nature woman becomes slut.

You know what? nilla did! (smiles)

Somehow, it all compartmentalized itself neatly. Vanillamom on one side, sexy slutty subbie on the other. They co-exist very well together. sss is sure glad to have had a chance to come out and play.

and did she ever. Stepped out of the bathroom, submissively obeying Sir to come out, all sexed up, all slutted up…in miles tall heels.

damned if i wasn’t every inch as sexy as HE told me i was.

Power of the Dom.

Now that’s one hell of a power exchange.

nilla is sexy.

Because Sir showed me i am.

Thank You Sir.

nilla.  is. so.  sexy!

(a tiny p.s. here to say a huge THANK YOU to all my readers! Vanillamom has just hit 25,000 views this morning! Wowza! Thank you all so much for coming, visiting, commenting, and reading, and did i say cumming? *grins*!!)

The Present

“There” He said, tightening the last of the buckles, “that ought to hold you for awhile, fuckslut”. He lifted her chin with His strong hand, looked calmly into her pouting face. 
“I’ll be out for awhile. I expect you will be curious, but no answers just now subgirl,  just….anticipation.”  He grinned His wicked grin at her. She simply melted inside when He did that. 
“When I come home, I’ll expect you to be silent. To insure that silence, my little fuckgirl,”
He reached for an item on the table beside her. She nearly groaned aloud, but restrained herself. No sense in it anyway, as He would do as He chose to. He cupped her chin again. Held up the clamps and chain. Enjoyed  her widening blue eyes as He fastened the clamp on one nipple, then the other. Her wince was priceless to him. Once more forcing eye contact with her, He added the weights. He watched those cerulean eyes mist with unshed tears. She was always afraid of displeasing Him, and He always continued to challenge her.
She looked at him, worried. She hated the weights. Her eyes begged what her mouth would not say: “Oh, please Sir…. not so many..hardly bear it…”
“Open that talented  mouth of yours, ‘lil girl.” She stared at Him, knowing what would happen next. She was right. As her juicy red lips opened, He placed the weighted chains in her mouth. If she talked, they could tumble out and the pain on her already sore nipples would be monumental.
Secured to the chair in the corner of their bedroom, she could not move. Her legs were fastened tightly together, bound at ankle, knee and thigh. Her arms were tied to the chair arms. Her waist was secured to the back. She sat, erect, tormented. Needy. His slut needed a good fucking. Her lips pursed around the hated chains, she gave him the coy eyes He loved, begging Him for His cock.
He looked down at her, His captured whore.  Smiled.  She thought this game  was nearly over. He knew it had barely begun. As He turned to go, He stopped, turned back to her.
She knew this was when the fun would start!  He wasn’t really going to leave her like this!
“One last thing, lil girl. Wouldn’t want my little fucktoy to not be ready for me when I return!”  So saying, He pulled the egg vibrator  from His pocket, and pushing it  hard between her secured thighs, He slipped it into her already juicy cunt.  She shifted in the chair as He probed between her legs, and gave a low mewling sound. He pulled His fingers from her, then wiped her wetness across her face and on her gorgeous red hair.  With a click, He turned it on low. Set the remote on the table where she could see it, but not touch it. It would keep her  at the edge of her need.  Which is just where He wanted her…His needy, wanting  slut!  He brushed His hand down her tousled red head, and left.
***                                           ***                                        ***
They met at a small coffee shop just a few blocks from his home.  He slid into the chair across from her, looked at her, assessing. She gazed at him a moment, but the compelling look in his eye made her avert her gaze.  He was so intense!  She shivered, hoped he didn’t notice.  He took her hand.
“Scared, lil one?” he asked softly.
She nodded, her long red locks tossing about her face, masking her expression. He leaned forward, brushed the hair away, tucking it behind her ears. The intimate gesture surprised her, calmed her.
“I’m glad you decided to take a chance with me. You know you’ll be safe, right? ” At her nod, he continued. “You left your number with a friend so you can call if you feel…it’s not working?” She nodded again, eyes on the table in front of her, as she toyed with the tag on her teabag with her free hand. Her captured hand lay quiescent in his palm, as  his thumb carressed the back of it, further calming and soothing her.
Her nerves were appealing. He could tell she had not made this decision lightly. A vanilla woman, she had no experience in the ways of the D/s community, despite her vivid stories to the contrary. She was truly innocent. A rare find in this day and age.
He put some pressure on her hand, causing her to look up, wary.
“It’s decision time,” He said. “Come with me now, or choose to leave. Once you come with me, your choice ends, and you become mine. Fully, completely. I will possess your body in ways that you have only dreamed about, lil swirly one.”  A fast smile crossed her face, before nerves once again shivered behind her eyes.  She stood. Grasped his hand firmly in her small one.  He led her home.
***                                ***                                   ***                                           ***
She sat in the chair. She could not move and it was frankly, driving her nuts. The egg  He had buried in her cunt was causing  a constant shivering of want, the faint vibration as annoying as a mosquito on a deep summer night. The throbbing of her cunt matched her heartbeat, and she felt the liquid of her arousal seeping from her, and gathering in the chair under her ass. She shifted a bit. Oh! She could feel the egg move a bit. She needed to cum so badly! With her legs pulled together, she could not wiggle at all down there, nor get any pressure on her clit. While he’d not forbidden her to cum, he sure had made it virtually impossible for her to get off.  Bastard! She mumbled around the chains still held tightly in her mouth. Having them in there was causing her mouth to water,  she for sure did not want to swallow …and a steady stream of drool was leaking from her lips. At least her hair wasn’t quite long enough to be drooled on, but the constant teasing touch of her shoulder length locks on her already over-stimulated body was adding to the fuel of the fire burning inside of her. The hunger built, even as the pain in her nipples tore at her spirit. She was so awash in her body and it’s miriad of sensations, that she did not hear the door open downstairs. The first inkling she had that he was home was his voice as he came up the stairs.
“Okay, lil swirl,” she heard him say, “careful now.”
What?  He’d never called her lil swirl before. Fucktoy, fuckgirl, fuckslut, subgirl and even His whore,  yes, but swirl?!?   Careful?   of what?
He led His lil swirl upstairs. She was blindfolded, something He had done as soon as they had entered the house. Just inside the door, He had stopped her, taken her vision away, and stripped her. He removed her blouse first, a white button down confection that screamed Vanilla to his continuing delight.  Next to be removed  was  her long tan skirt. He felt her shiver as he unzipped the back of it, slowly, letting His thumb rasp ahead of the zipper pull. He knew the sensation would travel down her ass crack, that  slight vibration, and increase the vulnerable feelings of being undressed by a virtual stranger. Last to go were  her sensible shoes and socks. Clad only in a white cotton bra, matching briefs, and barefoot, he bundled her hair into a coarse ponytail, and pulled her  up the stairs to his room.
His heart raced. He’d fantasized about this scene for weeks. All the time He’d courted the lovely, mysterious woman with the amazing and creative sexy imagination.  How His fuckslut would be bound, able to watch but not participate, as He fucked another in front of her. How the inexperienced submissive He was with would not know that she was being fucked in front of another. That this  lil swirl so closely resembled his whore was, he thought, karma. Both had red hair, blue eyes. They were just about the same age, He judged. But where His fuckgirl was toned, thanks in part to years of hot yoga, lil swirl was softer, rounder. Both were desirable to Him. It was so little about their bodies, and so much more about the mindfuck  He could serve to them both.
When he saw his fucktoy’s eyes widen with shock, His cock shot to instant hardness. He felt the need in Him build. He led his lil swirl to the bed, and with shocking force, tore her panties from her. She moaned, swayed. He slipped His fingers down to find wetness in her folds.
“Liked that, did you lil swirl?” he said softly against her ear. She nodded. He could see the blush slip from her cheeks to her chest. He traced a finger down the rosey-hued flesh to her bra.  A front hook version…how convenient, he mused, smiling.  He unhooked her bra, pulling it off her roughly, slapping each tit as he unveiled it. Her moan was louder now, born of pain and desire.
Oh Ho! He was surprised, nearly shocked, to discover His lil swirl had pierced nipples! He grasped each silver ring and tugged. She leaned into His pull, but he pushed her back to her place in front of him. He pulled her down, down to her knees. Releasing His hold on her rings, He grasped her chin, slapping Her cheek firmly.
“Open that fucking mouth,” He commanded, and when she complied, He pushed His hard cock into her facehole. He heard her draw a gurgling breath as He pushed deeper into her virgin mouth. “Tongue” He commanded again. 
In the corner, his fuckdoll felt tears gather in her eyes. How could He? He was teaching that other bitch to give Him a blowjob, when she had skills that He had spent 5 years honing for him? She was angry, boiling mad. If she dared, she would have spit out the chains and screamed at Him…for all the good that ever did. She tried to remember that He was the Dom and she was the subgirl…and He did nothing without a reason. She drew in a deep breath. Remembered her Yoga breathing. Calmed a bit. She ignored the tear that trickled slowly from stormy blue eye to chin.
He didn’t want to blow in her mouth. Not this time. Pulling His engorged cock from her mouth, ignoring her runny nose, and gasping cough, He roughly grabbed her nipple rings and forced her to rise again.
“Stand” He commanded, and began to pull the rings. Further and further they pulled, until her ample tits coned. Her deep moans were balm to Him. He knew He could rouse this vanilla, this swirl, as he had named her, to explore deeper and deeper routes to slutdom.  Releasing her nipple rings sharply, He pushed her hard, so that she fell backwards onto the bed. He grasped her legs, lifting them, and slid His mouth from knee to her sopping wet center. He was amused that her inner thighs were coated with her juices. Amused, and He admitted, aroused as hell.
She was torn between the humiliation of watching him eat out the other woman…another redhead, damn him!  and jealousy. She loved having His mouth on her cunt!  Damn Him. Damn her, whoever she was, the fucking slut. She was enough alike in looks to her that they could be sisters. Obviously not experienced…aaahhh…it came to her in a rush of sudden clarity. He’d always wanted to train a newcomer to the lifestyle. But to do so in front of her?!  Bastard! She glared at him, and at that exact moment, He lifted His face from between swirls legs, His face glistening with her wetness, her mewls of delight filling the room, and looked at His fucktoy. A slow, sinister smile crossed His face as He caught her gaze. Held it. She couldn’t look away. She couldn’t continue to look at Him. It was hell. It was heaven. She was humilated. She was soaked.
The woman beneath him bucked and moaned as He fucked her. He rode her hard, in part from  the desire she’d built in Him with her wicked stories, and in part because His whore was helplessly watching. As He came, He encouraged His swirl to another orgasm. Panting, He lay upon her sprawled body. Her arms and legs captured by leather laces on the bed, He knew she was going crazy with desire, despite her orgasm.
He put his head against her ear, whispered softly.
“Lil swirl, that was just the opening salvo. The best is yet to come.” He kissed her, fiercely. Reaching across to the nightstand, He withdrew a long, red satin bow. He tied it around swirls throat. Then rose from the bed, and went to release His fuckslut.
“Time to unwrap your  next present, subgirl,”  He said as He began to free her from her torment.
It was one hell of a birthday party.

The List

Everyone she knew lately had a list.  Some folks used lists to remember things…don’t forget the screws, the light bulbs, tampons. Some folks used lists to remember to call someone, or the famous to-do kind of list, or the Hunny-Do list. Her list was different. Her list was kinky.

She was 50. Not bad looking for a middle aged broad, she mused, looking into her mirror. Oh, well, gravity had been pulling those big tits of hers for 38 years or so, and a semi inactive lifestyle, along with a deep love of ice cream had added some rolls where there might have been tightness. Bah! She had begun learning to love the envelope;  she knew the value of the contents hidden inside.  No more self correcting, no more down in the dumps because she didn’t have a certain number on her bathroom scale. That same scale now took up space in a landfill,  how un-environmental of her, she knew, but she had laughed aloud as those buff and burly trash men pulled away from the curb, not knowing that they had set her free.

She carried her list in her purse.  She never knew what she’d see that would give her an idea, or item to add to it.  As a mature, handsome woman, she was funny, happy, and she had to admit it…..horny. On her list were things she wanted to experience. Hawt sexy things. She opened her purse, took out her list, and began reading:

Wax Play.

Nipple Clamps.


Ass Fucking.

Her list was in no particular order, so she wasn’t picky about what came first.

Find A Master Find A Lover Find someone to have sex with

This was one of  the most important items on her list.  If she was going to play sex games, she darned well would need to find a lover!  A Master would be soooo kewl.  Okay, so that wasn’t “middle age” talk. So what. With a shrug, she went back to reading:

Say sexy words like cunt, cock, cum.

Get Pissed ON!

Suck a Cock, Blindfolded…or eyes WIDE OPEN.

She had thought about that one a lot too. Did she want to see the big one coming at her mouth, to prepare for it? or did she want to feel all submissive and meek and just take the damned thing at HIS will?

Get fucked. Hard.

Use a Dildo. In front of people. In front of someone.

Lick a Masters Asshole

Yeah, those last two there were on the “oookey” side, and she had written them, crossed them out, rewritten…crossed out..but they were still on the list. If she ever dared to do either of them, she felt that her submission button would be pushed HARD.  Plus, she knew it would make her cunt just burst with liquid fire to submit to them.

Tit Slapping


Being tied up and Having Partner Do any Sex Act On You

Oh those were all pussy gushers! She reached under her skirt, rubbed at her mons, felt the sex dew gathering there. No undies tonight, so she would need to be careful not to get wet marks on her skirt before she arrived.

She tucked her list in her purse ….finally it was time to leave. She grabbed her keys, and without thinking thrice (because she’d already had second thoughts!), she went out, locking the door behind her.

The drive was uneventful, and not long enough for her to chicken out.  After parking her car around the corner from the club, she checked her appearance once more in the mirror. Smooching her lips to smooth out her gloss, gliding her hand along her hair, she flipped the mirror closed, took a deep breath, and exited the car.

She walked up the steps to Club Adventure,  pulled open the door, knowing she was about to have the biggest adventure  of her life! Just before she entered, she pulled out her list, tore it into pieces, and threw the confetti like pieces into the air. Baptism by list, she thought, grinning, and now she was free to explore, to learn, to experience, to be.  And if she was lucky, to become.